Earning My Stripes

Today’s shopping in my closet comes courtesy of copy catting. I have seen plaid and stripes a lot and been wanting to try it on myself. I am sure some of you out there can relate to a fear of putting stripes on a bigger body. But, if I am gonna live unapologetically this year, I can’t say I am sorry for trying off beat patterns. 
  
It is probably still too soon to wear this dress for the stomach I still have. But i did it and I am not sorry. This dress was made to do you favors and those criss-cross stripes are my friend! Most importantly, it’s all comfy for the all day meetings I am headed into. 

Luckily, thanks to great hair and good lipstick, my only decisions are how to manage my water intake to bathroom trip ratio when I am stuck in a conf room all day!! 

  
I dare you to wear stripes and plaid. And I dare you to have a good day doing it!!

Casually Sequined

When is it ok to wear sequins to work?

Answer:  It is always ok to wear sequins to work.
One of my fav go to casual outfits.  Covered in feathers today and my hair is cooperating.  It’s gonna be a fantastic Friday for sure! Great tops, fabulous old-school clock necklace and awesome chunky bracelet.
Oh, and a selfie with my dog, because, duh….🐾❤️
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I’m feeling extra casual and random today but this outfit makes me feel like I put way more effort into being cute than I did.  It’s ok to say out loud that you’re cute, ya know.  You can do that and you can mean it.  If you don’t feel like you can, just put some sequins on your body and you will magically be transformed into a sassy, confident individual! 🙂
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Here are my top five random thoughts about sequins and other things today:
1.  Sequins are better than boys today.  It’s the first couple of days in a long time that I haven’t thought about my last heart break.  I am moving along from it in way healthier ways than ever before (because, unfortunately, this is the 3rd heart break from the same person).  The way I felt when I put this sequined top on (and the one I wore a few days ago) is honestly better than any guy has made me feel in ages.
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2.  Why do we not feel worthy of wearing something sparkly in every day life?  We should.  Because maybe some extra sparkle is just what this crazy world needs right now.
3.  I hope the people who put sequins on clothes are happy people.  I like to think they are working somewhere that is full of rainbows and unicorns and happy music is playing while they apply them.
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4.  If someone doesn’t appreciate a little sparkle from you (no matter what form you bring it in – sequined clothes or otherwise), then you don’t need them in your life.  And this sweet life is too short to let those people linger.
5.  If you aren’t leaving people in a better condition than when you came across them, then you aren’t doing life right.  So, get to it!
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Do It Anyway!

I love writing. I love shopping in my closet. Lately I have been doing more of both than usual and I cannot tell you what it does for my soul. Writing really is great therapy. Shopping in my closet really is helpful on the pocketbook.   

I am far from being a disciplined person. I am the poster child for falling off wagons. I have no idea why I stop doing things that are so good for me. But, I do. And I’m hoping someone else out there does too. Ok, maybe I shouldn’t hope that someone else falls off the wagon as much as I do. But, I do hope someone out there at least can understand what I am saying. 

Last week was a good week. I was full of routine, and words to type, and clothes to brag about. I was ahead in my writing. And then busyness came to visit. Hate it when he shows up! 🙂 Before I knew it, my weekend was gone and even faster than that, Monday night showed up. Scratch that. I am now sitting on Tuesday night with a VERY early Wednesday morning staring me in the face. 

I want to write something epic. I want to put together a beautiful collage of outfit goodness. But the truth is, I just don’t have it in me. I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed with life right now. And I am really angry at my newly diagnosed disease with medicine that makes me almost sick enough to call my momma. The worst part? None of that matters. It really doesn’t. Because I still have to function in society as a productive human. The faux kid has to be fed. The work has to be done. The dog has to be walked. The laundry has to be tended to. The list goes on. 

Can we be even more honest with each other for a second? The last thing I want to think about or hear is “it could be worse.” Or “Too blessed to be stressed.” 

Yeah, I said it. Now what? Well, I’ll tell you?

1. I don’t have to be Positive Polly. I don’t have to try and inspire or pretend like I’m just dandy. What I do have to do to stay mentally healthy is own my emotion. I have to, but that doesn’t mean that others have to own my emotions as well. Being truthful with yourself about how you feel is not a bad thing. Negatively affecting others is. 

2. Being all the things I listed above are ok. Letting them move in and dwell is not. Thank them for stopping by, but push them on their way down the road. 

3. Do it anyway. Oh how I hated when my dad would say that. But he is right. Had I kept from writing tonight, the “blah” would’ve won and set me a few steps back. I am trying every single day lately to do things that move me forward. I wrote anyway. I promised myself one paragraph and the outfit pic was the least I could do. Now, look where we are! Lots of words later! 

4. DON’T BE MEAN! To others for sure, but ESPECIALLY not to yourself. 
I already feel better! Don’t you? I came across some oldies outfit pics that I never posted, so I am sharing those today. Some of my favs!

  
Peace, love and good outfit vibes! 

Pete and Repeat – The Boys That Won’t Go Away

Hooray for a new week!  Some of my favorite outfits are up on deck this week to show you from shopping in my closet as well as some of my favorite stories and life lessons to go with them!  You’re going to see lots of repeats this week.  That was what made putting these together so fun, that I had so many pieces that worked with so many different things!!! 

In the theme of repeats, I figured we might as well talk about repeat boys.  Before your mind starts wondering to places it shouldn’t in reference to repeats (especially you people from my home town that know what a stupid teenager I was), let me clarify.  I mean those repeat offenders that you keep letting back into your life when they have proven so often that they don’t deserve to be there.  You know, the ones that you just can’t seem to cut ties with?  Maybe you’re not always the one bringing them back in, but when they show up, you don’t object.  If repeat offenders were one of those punch cards that when you fill up you get free food, I would have been able to feed my whole family last week!  Was there an old flame haunting convention in town and I missed it?IMG_5086

I am going to try really hard to make this short and sweet when every typing bone in my body could get started and not stop until at least a few chapters were written on just this subject.  In my complete education from the School of Hard Knocks and extreme lack of education in the area of psychology and other “guru doctorness”……here are my reasons/revelations as to why the only repeats I want in my life moving forward are good outfits, good movies and good songs on loop!  Although the following is more of a “me preaching to me” session, I am guessing there is someone else that needs to read it too!

  1.  You only have one heart.  It’s so fragile.  And every time you choose to use it to invest love into someone, you give a little piece of it away (or in my case a big piece).  Whether you want to admit it or not, you literally carve out a piece of it for the person you are choosing to love.  With an organ so very fragile, shouldn’t we take extra care of it and be careful how we give it away?  Because, even though we can glue it back together, or give it some kind of repair when it breaks, it will still never be the same.  Rarely does the person who took that piece you gave them, ever give it back in the same condition it was given in.  If they didn’t handle it correctly the first time, why would we allow them to have another piece.  What happens when you have given so many pieces of your heart away that you have nothing left when the right person does come along?  
  2. You are giving them permission to not change.  So, you broke the ties once (or maybe they broke them for you).  You finally begin to heal and realize that you are moving on in a better direction and that there is new opportunity for you to grow from it (or at least I hope that is the case for you).  Now, for whatever reason, they come knocking on the door of your heart again.  Maybe you invited them back out of loneliness.  Maybe they are coming back out of their own loneliness.  Either way, they’re back and your choice on whether you let them back in or not sends a louder message than you know.  Of course there are the situations where one actually does change and things actually can be repaired.  Often, those are more the exception than the rule.  Remember, the ties were broken for a reason.  And more often than not, you allowing repeat back in sends the message of “You don’t really have to change, I’ll let you back in and my guard will eventually fall enough for you to start the old habits of mistreating me again.”  Be careful of the message it sends to your own heart as well.  You could very well be letting it know “hey heart, I know you were working really hard to repair and move on, but we are gonna go backwards for a bit.”  I am not proud to admit that some have gotten not just one repeat trip, but a few.  IMG_5091
  3. You are delaying your real prize!  When you combine one and two above, you get delay.  See, whether you see it or believe it now or not, there is that one purpose that ONLY YOU are supposed to be.  It wasn’t made for anyone else, so nobody else can receive it.  Same goes for that “one person for you”, if you will.  It’s perfectly ok that you take a rugged path to get there or that you take your time.  It’s even fine to have the hiccups of going through a few wrong people.  BUT, if you don’t move from them and you allow them back, you are only delaying the greatest happening of your life.  You just are.  Man, that hurts to type and swallow for me right now!  I will tell you that finally truly believing that I deserve what is supposed to be for me and believing that there really is something THAT GREAT coming, has made it much easier for me lately to “cut the cord” a lot quicker with repeat bad things in my life (whether it be relationships of any kind, food, unhealthy thoughts, etc).  I want to get to the good that I know is there waiting and I do not want any more delays that I bring upon myself!  Make sense?
  4. You are risking an avalanche.  When you allow the repeats and give just that tiny opening for the brokenness to come back in, it is almost inevitable that it will affect other things in your life as well.  In my situation, it just opens the flood gates for negativity and it usually starts with me attacking myself.  It’s not secret that I am already battling that daily as it is.  It took more restraint than you know not to make this post about all the horrible things I see in these pictures (huge legs, puffy wrists, seven chins, etc).  But, if I take a stand against not allowing repeat “bad heart treaters” in my life, then that includes repeat self-hate.

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As usual, I rattled way more than I intended to!  I hope that you get what I am saying and that you truly understand how precious you and that big ol’ heart of yours are!  Let’s end the repeat boys right there and get over to some good repeats, like this outfit! 🙂  This chami was purchased for less than a Sonic drink and goes with SO MANY things in my closet!  First up, is how it looks with this cardigan.  Don’t you just love a long cardigan?  I will have to have the same talk with myself as I do every year.  I will stand in the mirror and say “Alicia, you cannot wear a cardigan every single day this fall/winter.  You have to give the other great pieces in your closet some love too!”.  

Before you go, can we also just please take a minute to drool over these FABULOUS shoes and that great hat?  My exchange student insisted that I bring the hat into the wardrobe family and I am so glad she did!!  These shoes.  Well, these shoes are filling a hole that no man could fill anyway right now! :p 

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Fat Girl Ponytail to the Rescue!

 Ever have those days where you have to get loud with yourself like a coach in a locker room to get going for the day?  That was me yesterday!  I was struggling from the time I opened my eyes and had to turn off the great dream I was having where I was a talk show host with great hair.  Not a talk show host that sits in those high chairs though (I HATE high chairs). Waking up from that to the realization that I have to do not talk show host things was quite devastating.

No worries.  I rallied.  If i have said it once, I have said it at least three times, when you don’t know what to do in regards to your wardrobe, a scarf and ponytail will save you.  A ponytail you say?  For a girl with a round face such as yours?  Yep.  That’s exactly what I am saying.  Much like the pep talk to get out of bed, I usually need one to put the hair up and let other’s see it.  But today, today was different.  I liked it from the word go.  Could this mean that I am getting closer to falling madly in love with me? Let’s hope so.
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Out the door we go with a great scarf (don’t you just love the hint of sparkle in it?), a great ponytail and my favorite Valere Renee bag.  The fact that I had a baggy shirt on that I didn’t need a generic spanx for was a bonus (generic spanx as in I don’t buy the name brand because…well for reasons that would get us into a whole other blog.  I buy from Dress Barn and ladies if you haven’t checked them out, YOU NEED TO).  I’m tired and angry and just want the end of the day to come as quickly as possible.  Or so I thought.  Wait, what is this feeling?  I’m not tired and angry.  I’m ok. I actually feel pretty good.  Humph…well this is odd.
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See, we get so used to dreading a work day or other things or we get so used to letting the “blah” of the alarm going off trick us into being crabby the whole day.  And guess what?  We don’t really have to.  I KNOW!  It feels weird to me too!
I hesitate to even type this, but dare I say, I even feel sexy today.  Maybe it’s the nude wedges (nude shoes are just too sexy to me).  Maybe it’s that my shirt keeps falling off my shoulder (see pic below for an 80’s flashback).  Maybe it’s that my coworkers (who are all guys) willingly told me I looked pretty today.  It could be the dangly earrings.
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NO WAIT….I know exactly what it is (although all of the above definitely contributed).  FOR THE FIRST TIME ever in my life, I looked at the pics I was trying to capture for the purpose of showing you all and I was happy with me.  I REALLY liked what I saw.  All of it.  I literally had the thought of “oh wow, for lazy dressing you look really great today.  You totally pulled this off.  And that inner peace business is really working out”.  I cannot remember the last time I was that nice to me.  I wasn’t that nice to me after seeing some amazing pro shots taken of me in my outfit shoot this weekend.  Yet, here I sit “ok” with an iPhone shot of me in a ponytail.  MAN THIS FEELS GOOD!
Then, as if the heavens were sending me a flashing neon sign message, I come across one of my favorite Instagram chicks who wrote this.  Soul Sister confirmation is what we will call this.  Love this chick!
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Fat ass. Lard whale. Mr Kool Aid. Beached Shamu. Your clothes are too tight. You should eat less. You are why America isn’t great any more. You’re lazy. You smell. You take up too much space. You’re a disgrace. You’re ugly. You can’t sit here. Rhino. Piggy. Elephant. Fucking loser. Forever alone. Air waster. Chair breaker. Ground shaker. Chubbasaurus Rex. These are just some of the words people have used to to describe me. I can wear them, and allow them to choke my spirit, or I can take them off and reject them for the garbage they are. I can’t change another person’s intent. These words were meant to hurt. However, intention isn’t affection. Only I get to choose on whether their words matter. In the end, I hold all the power. It’s easy to forget when we hear shocking and upsetting words, but don’t let that initial stun make you forget. You get to choose what hurts. You are in control. You don’t have to wear those words. After all, they don’t belong to you. #bodypositivity #inspiration #selflove

A photo posted by Glitter (@glitterandlazers) on Sep 15, 2015 at 10:23am PDT

Tuesday, you were good mister.  You were very very good!
Outfit:
Old Navy top
Nude wedges from walmart.com
THE BEST bag from one of my fav local shops Valere Renee
Scarf – well it’s so old that I don’t even remember where it came from! 🙂

 

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Shopping In My Closet

I should’ve titled it “Coming Out of the Closet” just to watch my small hometown peeps go crazy thinking they were about to get major Alicia gossip…..but I have to think of my mother 😝

ANYWAY

In an effort to be a better me this year, I decided to start trying to improve finances by grounding myself from new clothes. I have enough clothes to open my own small boutique (no I am not exaggerating). I decided to make whatever I already had work and only buy something new if it was necessary (or if it was free). Thus, the shopping in my closet launch.  
So far, I would just snap pics of whatever outfit I was wearing for the day in an effort to show others that:

1) you can still be fashionable and create out of what you already have

2) big girls can be cute too

3) cute doesn’t have to mean expensive all the time (but I will not deny the happiness a spend brings every now and again).


This has been so much fun. And people have been so much nicer than I expected, that this weekend I got a bit braver. I spent the weekend really digging into just how much I could put together. I enlisted the help of a friend to use my pro camera for more legit pics (orrrrrr maybe I just wanted to feel like I could hang with those other cool fashion bloggers – no worries though- I am not claiming to even hold a candle to that group). We had a ton of fun and from my 2×2 camera screen I REALLY liked what I saw. The process itself was exhausting though. Who knew??!!
Yeah. So, I REALLY liked what I saw (and hopefully you will too. Pics shown here are a collection of what I have put together in past posts)….until I loaded them on my computer screen.

Not the prettiest, definitely not the skinniest…and sadly working on repairing some damage and harsh words from someone that I thought cared…..

I have felt so disgusting and was not kind to myself. I had no idea these health issues and other factors would do such a number on me. I have felt “not good enough” for a while now.


THEN I REMEMBERED that I have cute clothes to cover it all up with 😝. As Anita Renfro says “If you can’t lose it, decorate it!”
I decided that I will give hurtful people and horrible thoughts about myself no more energy. Skinny or fat, my heart is still the same size (I don’t mind being a 2x in that department)!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Shopping in my closet has been fun. After this weekend of putting more stuff together, I can ground myself from shopping just a bit longer!!
Sharing my whole body with the interwebs is HARD (especially when I am the biggest that I have ever been). So thank you for letting me share and thank you for being kind!! Can’t wait to show you what I dug out this weekend! It’s going to be a fun week!


Genera Shopping In My Closet Project notes:

1. There will be repeat pieces. But isn’t that what makes it so cool (that I can mix up so much)?

2. Be nice. Be nice. Be nice.

3. You don’t have to like what I do. You do you. But you don’t get to make me feel bad for me doing me and feeling confident about it.

4. Share! Share! Share! Wouldn’t it be SO COOL if everyone shared their closet from time to time?? LET’S SEE IT!! What can you put together? Heck, let’s issue a hashtag so we can all follow it too!! #shoppinginmycloset
Ohhhhh this is going to be soooooooo fun!!!!