Have you ever wondered if you can you love a bigger girl, guys? The answer is yes. Today, on top of a great Shopping In My Closet outfit, I bring you a little Q&A that might help bring a little clarity. Hope this helps! Be sure that you share this with friends. You too big girls. The world needs awareness and answers to these important questions 😝
1. Will loving a big girl kill me?
Answer: No. You won’t die. However it should be noted that a girl of any size could make you wish you were dead if you cross her.
2. Should I hide my food when I first date a bigger girl?
Answer: No. We do not want your food. We are perfectly capable of getting our own. You should, however, hide your food if you are a grown man that lives off of Cosmic Brownies in a box and Mountain Dew.
3. Should I tell my big girl that she is big? Even if it is out of love?
Answer: No. Do not insult her intelligence. Unless she is blind, doesn’t have a mirror, or has never passed by a window, this subject should never be addressed by you. You think she doesn’t know she is big. What would be big would be the size of the mistake you make by thinking you are holy enough to bring this to her attention. Refer to number one’s ending statement.
4. Will a big girl crush me while we are making love?
Answer: Well, first let me ask you some questions. Do you weigh less than 50 pounds? Are you Channing Tatum? I think you need to worry less about her crushing you and more about how you can make her wish she never had to leave the bedroom.
5. Will a big girl increase my grocery bill if we become serious enough to grocery shop together?
Answer: Yes. Because most likely she will require you to purchase more than those Cosmic Brownies and Mountain Dew.
Answer: Well, then don’t screw it up.
7. Will washing my big girl’s clothes require more laundry detergent?
Answer: Nope. Not anymore than your crap-stained underwear might.
8. What if my friends make fun of me for dating a big girl?
Answer: Two things: first, make 100% certain that you are equivalent to Channing Tatum so that your judging the hotness of the girl you are dating is completely justified. Next, break up with your girl immediately. Because surrounding yourself with friends like that CLEARLY indicates that you do not deserve the love of a big girl to begin with. Lastly, gather yourself and your friends and find the nearest cliff and have a jumping off of it party.
9. How can I get my big girl to lose a few pounds for me? I really like her, but she would be even prettier if she could just drop a few pounds. You know, for her health.
Answer: you can’t. What you can do is take your tiny little brain and find a mirror. Stand in front of the mirror and repeat after me…”It’s not about me. It’s not my journey. I should work on not being the biggest tool on the planet.”
10. Are all big girls as funny and cool as you, Alicia? Do they look as good shopping out of their closet and sporting this cool faux leather jacket as you?
Answer: sadly, no. Probably not. I’m kidding. There are tons of us out there!! The coolness over floweth!!