You and Your New Girlfriend Can Suck It!

Today, I am unstoppable.  It’s a dangerous place to be for someone with my drive and personality.  When you wake up feeling this good and confident, you can take over the world.  And usually, you do, for that day.  The dangerous part comes in when you have so much confidence and excitement for the day that your cares and give a crap meter breaks.  You are more likely to take on that tough situation with a little more gumption than normal.
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That’s where I am at today.  My name is Alicia, and I am unstoppable.  I have an amazing outfit (which we will touch on in a bit), good hair, sparkly bracelets, and I feel great (which is few and far between these days with this new illness bullcrap).  And all of that makes me dangerous.
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MAYBE, just maybe, typing this out loud will keep me from going “all out” today.  We can hope.  But I have an overwhelming urge to address a lingering topic in my life and doing it in this fabulous outfit just seems right.
We all know I love furiously.  That’s the problem with my personality.  When I go, I go hard.  I’m in 410% and sometimes it’s more than disappointing when I don’t feel like the person on the other side is in the same amount.  We’ve talked before in previous blogs about my need to keep my heart in check.  I can’t keep giving it away or I’m not going to have any left for the actual right person that comes along.
Lately, I seem to be the one left standing alone while past suitors latch on to great new relationships.  The typical stuff seems to happen.  They don’t want me or commitment, but then they all of the sudden find THAT woman that makes them do everything they said they would never do and ride off into eternal bliss sunset.  OF COURSE I am not delusional enough to think that it really is that perfect.  But, let’s be honest, when you’re hurt, it sure seems like it.
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BUT TODAY.  TODAY, in all that is fabulous within me.  With all the truth that I know about me and the over abundance of feel good, I address this in my life.  TODAY is the day that worrying about or comparing myself to the new girl (or any other girl) stops.
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I’m sorry I wasn’t for you.  Maybe I was too strong.  Maybe I was too clingy.  Maybe I was too much in general for a host of reasons.  Maybe you knew that you couldn’t keep up with me or be the top notch man I deserved.  Maybe you didn’t like my size.  WHATEVER the reason, that’s on you.  And it’s ok.  Because you not wanting me doesn’t make me less awesome.  TODAY is the day that I say that out loud and give zero cares.
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Today, you and your new girlfriend can suck it.  I will just be over here looking amazing in my great outfit and working on being a better me.  Working towards the best me, actually.
*Disclaimer:  for all the Nosey Roseys out there – this is not directed at one particular man.  There are plenty of exes in my life lately that have gotten way too much of my energy and comparing.  To the exes – don’t get butt hurt.  You’re the ones who didn’t want me, so don’t sit there and pout that I’m writing about it.  🙂 
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Stopped typing for a sec to see if maybe I had developed a remorse for tying the above and being too blunt…..nope… :p
NOW – about this outfit!  I caved and tried Gwynnie Bee.  It’s a clothes subscription much like Stitch Fix, but for plus sized women.  Honestly, they drove me nuts on email and I was about to unsubscribe until they offered me a free month.  Of course, they send me this greatness in an effort to pull me in further……and it’s almost working.
  • The jacket is sheer.  The tag even says “M”, as in medium, which I appreciate (even though I accept that I’m not)
  • The skirt, well, it’s just heaven.  It fits like a glove.  It’s comfortable.  And I NEVER thought I would love a slit in my skirt, BUT I DO.
  • I added my own jewelry, cami and heels and VOILA, you see the awesome result.
  • Bonus:  my nails just happen to be glittery too!
I repeat, I am unstoppable.  🙂

Planning My Funeral

Before I even start this post, I need you to understand that I am sometimes (ok, always) random and a tiny bit weird.  I often wonder if some of the things that go on in my head also go on in other people’s heads.  I am convincing myself that they do and I am relying on those people showing up to read this blog.  The rest of you, well, you were warned. 🙂

DSCN0215When I saw this dress online a while back, I was completely drawn to it for two reasons.  One, I love the style of being a bit 50’s-ish.  Secondly, funerals.  Whether you want to admit it or not, or whether you think I’m a total loon, every girl needs a funeral dress.  Obviously, this dress is fabulous enough to work for tons of other functions, but I primarily bought it for funerals.  Clearly, I don’t sit around anticipating another’s death.  I also don’t mean for it to seem as if I treat a funeral like a fashion show.  

I do, however, feel like it’s important to look classy and a bit reserved for such an occasion (it’s really the only occasion I believe this for, by the way).  You cannot go wrong with pearls (even if they are fake) and a black dress.  When I came across this dress I realized that I didn’t have a dress that fit my “funeral belief system” and when I discovered that I could snag this for $20, I jumped right on it.  Now, all I need is for someone to die.  JUST KIDDING!!!!!  I just knew that once I coupled this with my pearls and black heels, that I was definitely going to win any Audrey Hepburn costume contests!

DSCN0216Once the dress arrived, I tried it on and realized it was THE PERFECT funeral dress for any funeral……..except mine.  I started thinking about how I would make my funeral different from most (because I always want to be different and MAYBE I have a few control issues – even in my own death).  I can respect a classy funeral, after all, I just bought a dress for that exact event.  But, I need funeral fun.  So, in the event of my untimely death, I am publishing my funeral wishes for all of the interwebs to see……..and maybe to also make sure enough people see it so that my mom feels obligated to carry it out versus putting me in a button up cardigan and pearls! 🙂 Weird?  Probably so.  Cares?  Zero.  

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Unless you’re an ex that broke up with me and realized how incredibly stupid that decision was and now it’s too late to do anything about it.


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Enough Said

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I’m pretty sure that the fact that my chest will be stiff should be taken advantage of.  Gravity has taken over my boobs these days, so death may cause them to be stiff enough to go back where they were in my twenties and I don’t want to waste it.

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Bold red lipstick though, not “I just crawled out of my pimp’s car to go to a job” red. 

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I don’t want someone up there talking about anything boring.  I just want people to tell funny stories.  Let me know if you need me to draft a script for everyone.

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This one is the most important.  It would be great if P!nk is still alive to just have her come do a few tunes.  If she’s not, anything upbeat that makes you wanna do a Rocky Balboa, stair type run will do.  It won’t even hurt my dead feelings if everyone breaks out into spontaneous dance.  If you REALLY loved me, you would all burst out into Don’t Stop Believin mid-funeral.

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Everyone at my funeral should be dressed in something bold and fun.  I don’t need it looking like a circus freak show….but getting out of your comfort zone is the least you can do for my death wish, right?

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Preferably in inflatable form, will do in lieu of flowers.  If there are flowers, leave the carnations out of it.  I don’t know why they got the dirty job of being the funeral flower, but they are not for me.

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First, I want a casket that you can write on.  Have colorful sharpies available and leave me a good love note.  I’ll know if you skip that part in the line and I will haunt you forever. 🙂 I kid!  Next, it needs to include lights.  Fun lights on the outside (that could potentially move to the music) and good, Hollywood type lighting around my face that accentuates my red lipstick and long eyelashes.  Forgot to mention that before.  The eyelashes need to be long.  I won’t hate you if you pick ones from the Halloween costume aisle that have a little sparkle to them.

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Cover my grave in glitter.  Unless you’re my friend James.  He hates glitter, so he gets a pass.  The disco balls are for tombstone decorations, mostly because in all my years in advertising, nobody has let me incorporate it into any of my campaigns.  Actually, anyone who can pull off a real, spinning disco ball as my tombstone will get extra points.  I’ll be sure to put in a good word for you with the big man once I meet him. 

 

I think that gets us started.  I feel like if you all start with this list, the creative juices will continue to flow and my funeral will be an epic blowout.  

I think we can safely say that I feel comfortable with you people to share my weirdness so openly with.  Don’t leave me hanging!  Share one fun thing you would do at your funeral and reassure me that I’m at least a lovable weirdo! 🙂 

Happy Wednesday!

Outfit details:

Dress (completely customizable): Eshakti

Necklace: Sam Moon

Shoes: Nine West

Hiding in my closet

What do you do when it’s officially fall but not officially the cool fall weather you need to break out the heavy stuff? You wear this amazing dress…..

This gem has been hiding in my closet too long! Actually, if I am being honest, I want to hide in my closet today too! Since I am an adult who has silly responsibilities such as bills and a faux child, hiding is not an option for me today. (Wah wah wah…..)  
What do you do when you are tired, overwhelmed, dealing with a disease that is currently kicking your butt and just don’t feel good? You put this amazing dress on. You also:

  • Take a deep breath
  • Tell yourself that you are allowed to not be perfect
  • Give yourself permission to retreat
  • Be as kind as possible with society and just be as quiet as you can
  • Rest
  • Be honest with those around you – not mean – just honest. It’s ok to say “I’m not ok today”
  • Tap into those encouragers and supporters around you
  • Push through the day with the promise of a long, hot bath when you get home

Here’s to a great Tuesday with a great dress that fools me into feeling fabulous!!

P.S. I love the hint of yellow in this dress and the fab glasses! 

  

The Only Time Floppy is a Good Thing….

Is when it is in reference to a floppy hat or floppy disk. 

IMG_4999I wasn’t aware I even had a love for either until my exchange student demanded that this hat come home with us a while back (isn’t it a fantastic hat…..and I’m completely swooning over the layers of necklaces).  The other floppy love isn’t as much about the floppy disk as it is the times when they were popular.  Ok, maybe they were never popular.  We just didn’t have any other choices.  But, the times that the floppy disk lived in, well, they just seemed simpler.  I think we all go through spurts of longing for simpler, don’t we?  I actually associate floppy disks with my dad.  He was a computer teacher at the time and we had what seemed like a gazillion of them laying around.  See, I’m already going back to simpler memories.  My dad seemed to make everything simple.  

Life is busy.  We are moving so fast towards whatever, that we lack the ability to be simple.  Sometimes that leads to a state of just “blah”……know what I’m sayin?  I am a prime example of this in so many ways that I have lost count.  When I get to going too fast, if I’m being cheesy, life just gets a bit floppy.  The difference in me now is, that I try to be very aware.  I try to slow down every once and a while and examine where I am allowing too much floppy and work towards improvement. I quit beating myself up a long time ago for getting to a state of floppy.  Forgiving yourself is important.  I just try to note it, stop it at the first acknowledgement, and move forward.  What do you do?

Here are where floppy isn’t good for me……Can anyone relate?  

  1.  Floppy Friends – It’s taken me a really long time to be ok with not feeling obligated to keep friends around that aren’t good for me.  Nobody has to be a jerk about it but I simply cannot allow friendships that are a flop to continue.
  2. Floppy Boys – I have no idea when it happened or what switch was flipped, but it has been really cool to try the approach of actually being direct and intentional about my dating life.  Sure, it has cut a lot of guys out of the mix, but that’s more than ok.  I cannot allow myself to give parts of my heart away to someone who gives me floppy effort (or no effort at all).  I was SO SCARED to take this new approach for myself, but so far, I am pretty pleased with how it’s going. 
  3. Floppy Habits – they gotta stop.  They just do.  It is more important than ever, with my recent diagnosis, that I make good choices.  If it doesn’t work for the good of my health, or the good of my life goals, it absolutely cannot become a habit in my life.  I accept this as a constant work in progress for me! I know that if there is one crack in my life, floppy will creep in and take over before I turn around.  Obviously, I am not 100% every day, but having a good army to stand guard helps!

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I’m thinking I need to track down a few old floppy disks and keep them handy as a reminder that I can’t let anything but my cool hat get too floppy! 

Let’s have a great week.  Want to?

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Do It Anyway!

I love writing. I love shopping in my closet. Lately I have been doing more of both than usual and I cannot tell you what it does for my soul. Writing really is great therapy. Shopping in my closet really is helpful on the pocketbook.   

I am far from being a disciplined person. I am the poster child for falling off wagons. I have no idea why I stop doing things that are so good for me. But, I do. And I’m hoping someone else out there does too. Ok, maybe I shouldn’t hope that someone else falls off the wagon as much as I do. But, I do hope someone out there at least can understand what I am saying. 

Last week was a good week. I was full of routine, and words to type, and clothes to brag about. I was ahead in my writing. And then busyness came to visit. Hate it when he shows up! 🙂 Before I knew it, my weekend was gone and even faster than that, Monday night showed up. Scratch that. I am now sitting on Tuesday night with a VERY early Wednesday morning staring me in the face. 

I want to write something epic. I want to put together a beautiful collage of outfit goodness. But the truth is, I just don’t have it in me. I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed with life right now. And I am really angry at my newly diagnosed disease with medicine that makes me almost sick enough to call my momma. The worst part? None of that matters. It really doesn’t. Because I still have to function in society as a productive human. The faux kid has to be fed. The work has to be done. The dog has to be walked. The laundry has to be tended to. The list goes on. 

Can we be even more honest with each other for a second? The last thing I want to think about or hear is “it could be worse.” Or “Too blessed to be stressed.” 

Yeah, I said it. Now what? Well, I’ll tell you?

1. I don’t have to be Positive Polly. I don’t have to try and inspire or pretend like I’m just dandy. What I do have to do to stay mentally healthy is own my emotion. I have to, but that doesn’t mean that others have to own my emotions as well. Being truthful with yourself about how you feel is not a bad thing. Negatively affecting others is. 

2. Being all the things I listed above are ok. Letting them move in and dwell is not. Thank them for stopping by, but push them on their way down the road. 

3. Do it anyway. Oh how I hated when my dad would say that. But he is right. Had I kept from writing tonight, the “blah” would’ve won and set me a few steps back. I am trying every single day lately to do things that move me forward. I wrote anyway. I promised myself one paragraph and the outfit pic was the least I could do. Now, look where we are! Lots of words later! 

4. DON’T BE MEAN! To others for sure, but ESPECIALLY not to yourself. 
I already feel better! Don’t you? I came across some oldies outfit pics that I never posted, so I am sharing those today. Some of my favs!

  
Peace, love and good outfit vibes! 

Pete and Repeat – The Boys That Won’t Go Away

Hooray for a new week!  Some of my favorite outfits are up on deck this week to show you from shopping in my closet as well as some of my favorite stories and life lessons to go with them!  You’re going to see lots of repeats this week.  That was what made putting these together so fun, that I had so many pieces that worked with so many different things!!! 

In the theme of repeats, I figured we might as well talk about repeat boys.  Before your mind starts wondering to places it shouldn’t in reference to repeats (especially you people from my home town that know what a stupid teenager I was), let me clarify.  I mean those repeat offenders that you keep letting back into your life when they have proven so often that they don’t deserve to be there.  You know, the ones that you just can’t seem to cut ties with?  Maybe you’re not always the one bringing them back in, but when they show up, you don’t object.  If repeat offenders were one of those punch cards that when you fill up you get free food, I would have been able to feed my whole family last week!  Was there an old flame haunting convention in town and I missed it?IMG_5086

I am going to try really hard to make this short and sweet when every typing bone in my body could get started and not stop until at least a few chapters were written on just this subject.  In my complete education from the School of Hard Knocks and extreme lack of education in the area of psychology and other “guru doctorness”……here are my reasons/revelations as to why the only repeats I want in my life moving forward are good outfits, good movies and good songs on loop!  Although the following is more of a “me preaching to me” session, I am guessing there is someone else that needs to read it too!

  1.  You only have one heart.  It’s so fragile.  And every time you choose to use it to invest love into someone, you give a little piece of it away (or in my case a big piece).  Whether you want to admit it or not, you literally carve out a piece of it for the person you are choosing to love.  With an organ so very fragile, shouldn’t we take extra care of it and be careful how we give it away?  Because, even though we can glue it back together, or give it some kind of repair when it breaks, it will still never be the same.  Rarely does the person who took that piece you gave them, ever give it back in the same condition it was given in.  If they didn’t handle it correctly the first time, why would we allow them to have another piece.  What happens when you have given so many pieces of your heart away that you have nothing left when the right person does come along?  
  2. You are giving them permission to not change.  So, you broke the ties once (or maybe they broke them for you).  You finally begin to heal and realize that you are moving on in a better direction and that there is new opportunity for you to grow from it (or at least I hope that is the case for you).  Now, for whatever reason, they come knocking on the door of your heart again.  Maybe you invited them back out of loneliness.  Maybe they are coming back out of their own loneliness.  Either way, they’re back and your choice on whether you let them back in or not sends a louder message than you know.  Of course there are the situations where one actually does change and things actually can be repaired.  Often, those are more the exception than the rule.  Remember, the ties were broken for a reason.  And more often than not, you allowing repeat back in sends the message of “You don’t really have to change, I’ll let you back in and my guard will eventually fall enough for you to start the old habits of mistreating me again.”  Be careful of the message it sends to your own heart as well.  You could very well be letting it know “hey heart, I know you were working really hard to repair and move on, but we are gonna go backwards for a bit.”  I am not proud to admit that some have gotten not just one repeat trip, but a few.  IMG_5091
  3. You are delaying your real prize!  When you combine one and two above, you get delay.  See, whether you see it or believe it now or not, there is that one purpose that ONLY YOU are supposed to be.  It wasn’t made for anyone else, so nobody else can receive it.  Same goes for that “one person for you”, if you will.  It’s perfectly ok that you take a rugged path to get there or that you take your time.  It’s even fine to have the hiccups of going through a few wrong people.  BUT, if you don’t move from them and you allow them back, you are only delaying the greatest happening of your life.  You just are.  Man, that hurts to type and swallow for me right now!  I will tell you that finally truly believing that I deserve what is supposed to be for me and believing that there really is something THAT GREAT coming, has made it much easier for me lately to “cut the cord” a lot quicker with repeat bad things in my life (whether it be relationships of any kind, food, unhealthy thoughts, etc).  I want to get to the good that I know is there waiting and I do not want any more delays that I bring upon myself!  Make sense?
  4. You are risking an avalanche.  When you allow the repeats and give just that tiny opening for the brokenness to come back in, it is almost inevitable that it will affect other things in your life as well.  In my situation, it just opens the flood gates for negativity and it usually starts with me attacking myself.  It’s not secret that I am already battling that daily as it is.  It took more restraint than you know not to make this post about all the horrible things I see in these pictures (huge legs, puffy wrists, seven chins, etc).  But, if I take a stand against not allowing repeat “bad heart treaters” in my life, then that includes repeat self-hate.

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As usual, I rattled way more than I intended to!  I hope that you get what I am saying and that you truly understand how precious you and that big ol’ heart of yours are!  Let’s end the repeat boys right there and get over to some good repeats, like this outfit! 🙂  This chami was purchased for less than a Sonic drink and goes with SO MANY things in my closet!  First up, is how it looks with this cardigan.  Don’t you just love a long cardigan?  I will have to have the same talk with myself as I do every year.  I will stand in the mirror and say “Alicia, you cannot wear a cardigan every single day this fall/winter.  You have to give the other great pieces in your closet some love too!”.  

Before you go, can we also just please take a minute to drool over these FABULOUS shoes and that great hat?  My exchange student insisted that I bring the hat into the wardrobe family and I am so glad she did!!  These shoes.  Well, these shoes are filling a hole that no man could fill anyway right now! :p 

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Dear Guy Who Said “I can’t date you because of your log legs”…..

You should see me now!

Ankles.  Can we talk about em for a sec?

I happen to hate mine.  I hate my legs in general, actually.  I remember a long time ago in high school an older lady told me what pretty legs I had.  I just wish I would have had enough brain cells as well.  Because if I did, I could’ve maybe realized how important it was to work hard and develop a lifestyle of healthiness and not have the “log legs” I do now.  Log legs.  Isn’t that a terrible phrase?  It’s exactly the phrase that a guy used for a reason he couldn’t date me past the first date.
I remember that date like it was yesterday.  He was a lawyer from Tulsa.  He drove to meet me and we had a lovely dinner at a great local restaurant.  It was the first time I had really dressed up for a date.  I wore the cutest “little black dress” and heels. I felt so pretty.  Our convo at dinner was a great, stimulating combination of quick wit and total sarcasm (my favorite).  He wasn’t someone I would’ve thought that I would’ve liked, but I did.  Then, as we are walking to the car after dinner, he says “I just got an email from work.  Looks like I am gonna have to go.”.  Huh?  When did he even check his phone?  I never left the table and never saw him on his phone.  And when did lawyers get urgent emails on a Saturday night at 10pm and have to jet out of the parking lot like a race car driver?  Whatever, dude.  Clearly we weren’t going to be going out again.  He could’ve just disappeared into the moonlight.  But he didn’t.  He sent a text the next day saying that he was sorry, but he didn’t think we were a match and he just couldn’t date someone with log legs.
Took me a long time to get past that one. Obviously, I am still hanging on to it a bit because I am still talking about it.  I even catch myself wondering what he would think now.  I’m way bigger than I was 7 years ago when he last saw me.  What word would he use to describe something bigger and stumpier than logs?  I think if I saw him today, I wouldn’t even say the snarky things that normally cross my mind.  I think I would just look at him and smile and think to myself “You silly little man.  I hate that you are missing out on who I have become.  But then again, you and your overly hairy arms and Tommy Bahama shirts don’t deserve to see who I have become”.
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That story is all I thought about as I loaded the pics of this outfit.  Add in my discomfort in tucking in my shirt and exposing my untamed stomach to you and the you get Alicia ascending into self-hate at a rapid pace!  Shame on me for giving it that much energy.  As with any other bad thoughts, self-hate, or worry that start to creep in, I play the truth game.  Luckily, playing it with this saved the day!
Truths:
  1.  This outfit is awesome.  Possibly my new favorite outfit.
  2. I do have large legs.  They hold me up.
  3. I do have large ankles.  They also keep me upright (most of the time)
  4. I look great in this outfit
  5. I need big limbs to carry around big awesomeness
  6. So what that I tucked my shirt in.  People do it all the time.  You can too, Alicia!
So I made a deal with my legs/ankles.  You guys keep carrying me around, and I’ll keep working to lighten your load.  And I will never bring around a guy who talks to you like that ever again!
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Fat Girl Ponytail to the Rescue!

 Ever have those days where you have to get loud with yourself like a coach in a locker room to get going for the day?  That was me yesterday!  I was struggling from the time I opened my eyes and had to turn off the great dream I was having where I was a talk show host with great hair.  Not a talk show host that sits in those high chairs though (I HATE high chairs). Waking up from that to the realization that I have to do not talk show host things was quite devastating.

No worries.  I rallied.  If i have said it once, I have said it at least three times, when you don’t know what to do in regards to your wardrobe, a scarf and ponytail will save you.  A ponytail you say?  For a girl with a round face such as yours?  Yep.  That’s exactly what I am saying.  Much like the pep talk to get out of bed, I usually need one to put the hair up and let other’s see it.  But today, today was different.  I liked it from the word go.  Could this mean that I am getting closer to falling madly in love with me? Let’s hope so.
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Out the door we go with a great scarf (don’t you just love the hint of sparkle in it?), a great ponytail and my favorite Valere Renee bag.  The fact that I had a baggy shirt on that I didn’t need a generic spanx for was a bonus (generic spanx as in I don’t buy the name brand because…well for reasons that would get us into a whole other blog.  I buy from Dress Barn and ladies if you haven’t checked them out, YOU NEED TO).  I’m tired and angry and just want the end of the day to come as quickly as possible.  Or so I thought.  Wait, what is this feeling?  I’m not tired and angry.  I’m ok. I actually feel pretty good.  Humph…well this is odd.
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See, we get so used to dreading a work day or other things or we get so used to letting the “blah” of the alarm going off trick us into being crabby the whole day.  And guess what?  We don’t really have to.  I KNOW!  It feels weird to me too!
I hesitate to even type this, but dare I say, I even feel sexy today.  Maybe it’s the nude wedges (nude shoes are just too sexy to me).  Maybe it’s that my shirt keeps falling off my shoulder (see pic below for an 80’s flashback).  Maybe it’s that my coworkers (who are all guys) willingly told me I looked pretty today.  It could be the dangly earrings.
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NO WAIT….I know exactly what it is (although all of the above definitely contributed).  FOR THE FIRST TIME ever in my life, I looked at the pics I was trying to capture for the purpose of showing you all and I was happy with me.  I REALLY liked what I saw.  All of it.  I literally had the thought of “oh wow, for lazy dressing you look really great today.  You totally pulled this off.  And that inner peace business is really working out”.  I cannot remember the last time I was that nice to me.  I wasn’t that nice to me after seeing some amazing pro shots taken of me in my outfit shoot this weekend.  Yet, here I sit “ok” with an iPhone shot of me in a ponytail.  MAN THIS FEELS GOOD!
Then, as if the heavens were sending me a flashing neon sign message, I come across one of my favorite Instagram chicks who wrote this.  Soul Sister confirmation is what we will call this.  Love this chick!
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Fat ass. Lard whale. Mr Kool Aid. Beached Shamu. Your clothes are too tight. You should eat less. You are why America isn’t great any more. You’re lazy. You smell. You take up too much space. You’re a disgrace. You’re ugly. You can’t sit here. Rhino. Piggy. Elephant. Fucking loser. Forever alone. Air waster. Chair breaker. Ground shaker. Chubbasaurus Rex. These are just some of the words people have used to to describe me. I can wear them, and allow them to choke my spirit, or I can take them off and reject them for the garbage they are. I can’t change another person’s intent. These words were meant to hurt. However, intention isn’t affection. Only I get to choose on whether their words matter. In the end, I hold all the power. It’s easy to forget when we hear shocking and upsetting words, but don’t let that initial stun make you forget. You get to choose what hurts. You are in control. You don’t have to wear those words. After all, they don’t belong to you. #bodypositivity #inspiration #selflove

A photo posted by Glitter (@glitterandlazers) on Sep 15, 2015 at 10:23am PDT

Tuesday, you were good mister.  You were very very good!
Outfit:
Old Navy top
Nude wedges from walmart.com
THE BEST bag from one of my fav local shops Valere Renee
Scarf – well it’s so old that I don’t even remember where it came from! 🙂

 

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FashioKNEEsta Follies

Now that you’ve been following the blog and are all caught up on the great shopping in my closet project (if you have no idea what I am talking about, click here), I am excited to share what I come up with.  What I am not excited about is my inability to talk about it.
I have plenty to say.  That’s never a problem.  But I struggle in the world of fashion blogging.  I’m not even trying to be one of those.  I am just stupid excited that I have cool things in my closet to mix and match versus draining my bank account for new stuff all of the time.  I studied great fashion bloggers far and wide.  They talk in fantastic detail about their outfits, the brands they wear, the occasions to wear them, the story behind the purchases…..all very fashionably romantic.  It seems no matter how hard I try to come up with a story or a great bunch of words in relation to what I am wearing, I fall short.  Every.  Single.  Time.
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Chances are, whatever I am wearing was on sale, from a store that was probably on my way somewhere, that I forced myself to stop into, because…..I honestly hate shopping.  It doesn’t make sense.  I know.  I am a girl, of course I like shopping.  Nope.  For various reasons (I’m poor, I hate the inconvenience of the mall, etc), I just can’t make myself like it.  I have instead decided to just post the pictures of the outfits and chat with you about other random things.  Is that cool with you?  Yes?  GREAT!
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I accept that I will never be a fashionista.  It’s a burden only an elite few can bear.  The word fashionista did make me think of knees though (and it actually made me think of it while I was peeing – which is where I do my most genius thinking).  I have great respect for knees.  You can’t hate something that essentially holds you up.  Mine deserve more respect than most, because, let’s be honest, they are carrying around a few extra poundage than most.  I guess it only makes sense that with all the pressure they are under, that sometimes they buckle.  The fact that they never buckle at a good time is when I struggle to still love them.  For example, last night, I had a killer outfit on and pulled into the grocery store to own some food shopping like a boss.  Being there at a busy time encouraged me to walk taller and strut with a little extra confidence on the off chance that the future Mrs. Me was inside awaiting my arrival.  Then I went down.  Not downtown to listen to music or have a few drinks.  Down as in down on my knees (and not by my choice).  It felt like I had an audience of 4,239, but turns out it was only 7.  As usual (I fall a lot more than I care to think about), I picked myself up, acted like there was something in the middle of the floor that tripped me up, and moved on to picking out the perfectly ripe bananas.
flowers and lace
Today’s outfit:
I am pretty certain that I will wear this dress til the threads are barely staying together. It will never go out of style in Alicialand!
And these boots……..they have been screaming from the depths of my closet to come out for the fall. I like to imagine that when I stand in my closet trying to figure out what to wear, they are jumping up and down like Donkey from Shrek saying “pick me, pick me”…..It’s going to be a great fall with these guys!!
Kudos to all of you who this fashion thing and make it look so good.  For the rest of us, grab something out of your closet and wear it with the confidence that if you fell in the banana aisle, you would still rock it!