Ah, the holidays! One of the most fun times of the year! Christmas decor, holiday parties, ugly sweater goodness and now A NEW DOLLY PARTON MOVIE (just what I needed to continue to feed my love for her)! In honor of her Christmas movie airing today (that I have been anxiously awaiting for and assume you’re watching), I’m not only sporting a snazzy, what I hope would be Dolly approved outfit to work, I’m giving you a sneak peak into my holiday party outfit options. Even though I have a feeling I know what Dolly would pick, I’m going to let you vote on your favorite look! Whichever one gets the most votes (no matter which one I’m partial to, you know, kinda like an American election), is what I will wear to the party. Promise.
In addition to some great outfits (or what I feel are great outfits), I’ve also put together party prep list!
Enjoy! I can’t wait to see which outfit wins!
Party Prep Checklist:
- Understand the party dress code. Then, wear what you want anyway.
- Make sure that what you wear won’t get you fired.
- Look in the mirror and say “This is going to be so much fun! I look fabulous”
- Take pictures and show the internet (no matter how badly you don’t want to and no matter how worried you are at what people will say of your cheesy shots, that you had a blast with…..not that I’m talking about the pics you are about to scroll through or anything)
- Pre-game. This step is important. Do something to relax you before going into the potential sea of judgement and lame office jokes (thankfully, our office party is guaranteed to be lame free so I’m not even worried. I’m just saying you should be aware of the potential for you to encounter lameness). Have a couple of glasses of wine. But stay away from shots of tequila (until you get to the party and you see your boss throwing them back). Turn up some good music while you’re getting ready and dance like you’re a star in a Paula Abdul video.
- Make sure if you’re taking a date, that he/she isn’t lame.
- Go to the party.
- Laugh, have fun, don’t make a jerk out of yourself that could later haunt you (like getting too drunk, lashing out at people you think hate you and slamming car doors……I’ve heard of that happening)
- Assume everyone that is staring at you is only thinking how fabulous your outfit is and how they wish they would’ve dressed more fun.
- If there is music, dance. Even if you wouldn’t normally do such a thing.
That’s it. That’s all you have to do (other than stay sober enough not to stick your foot in your mouth).
Now, the outfits!
The party is a dressy casual event. Most will wear jeans and a nice top or a fun dress. When discussing the attire during our staff meeting, it was well established that they could make whatever decision they wanted, but that I would be wearing snazzy stuff no matter how casual they decided 🙂 Funny enough, nobody in the room seemed surprised by my announcement!
Sequins and Jeans (which also happens to be the outfit I am wearing to work today. It’s completely justified as explained in this previous blog. Click here to read it real quick)
I was worried this look would look too plain. Turns out, I ended up thinking it has the perfect balance of casual and snazzy!
I am in love with this skirt and how well the necklace compliments the outfit!! Guess what else? The skirt has pockets!!!!!!! Winning all around!
I don’t want to influence or rig the voting (too soon?), but I cannot deny that this one is my favorite thus far. It’s magical. Just look at how fun it is and how it fits!
Jeans/Peplum Jacket/Red Shoes: Lane Bryant
Varsity Jacket: JC Penney
Black Top: Melissa McCarthy for Lane Bryant
Necklace: Rue 21
America. Here’s the deal. I did NOT want to show you this outfit. As much as I love sharing myself, especially my closet, some aspects are a real struggle to put out there. The good days are good. People seem to align to your way of thinking and the interwebs join in chorus of agreement that the look I chose for the day is “on fleek” (is that still a saying amongst you young ones?). The bad days, well, they’re not my favorite. The days when people think because you are putting yourself out there and you are a blunt person, that they can take liberties in being blunt with you in telling you they don’t like your outfit, or if they were you, they wouldn’t wear this or that.
I took the VERY LONG way around in all that “find yourself”, “love yourself”, “be comfortable in your own skin” mess that we all are supposed to arrive at. I took the long way and choose to tell you about it in hopes that if you’re on your way, you get there a little quicker than I did.
- I just try to be nice to me.
- I try not to apologize for it.
- I own myself and my attitude daily (even if it’s bad or misunderstood and misperceived).
- I wear the things
- I celebrate the wins and steps forward
- I force myself to learn from the steps backwards and not to camp out there very long
Today’s shopping in my closet comes courtesy of copy catting. I have seen plaid and stripes a lot and been wanting to try it on myself. I am sure some of you out there can relate to a fear of putting stripes on a bigger body. But, if I am gonna live unapologetically this year, I can’t say I am sorry for trying off beat patterns.
It is probably still too soon to wear this dress for the stomach I still have. But i did it and I am not sorry. This dress was made to do you favors and those criss-cross stripes are my friend! Most importantly, it’s all comfy for the all day meetings I am headed into.
Luckily, thanks to great hair and good lipstick, my only decisions are how to manage my water intake to bathroom trip ratio when I am stuck in a conf room all day!!
When you explain to a woman that you can’t date her because of her size, what you are really saying is:
- I hold myself in such a regard, that I think I am extremely handsome and therefore in a higher regard than you as a fat person. There is a 99.999% chance that you would not qualify for People’s hottest men. This thinking (whether you realize you are doing it or not) makes you a jackass.
- Not that number 1 wasn’t enough to just stop, let’s discuss a few more. You are saying that you have no ability to invest time. Cause you might discover that the fat girl is working on herself everyday. Not necessarily to be a skinny minny…but to be a better, healthier version of herself. If she is as strong, ambitious and kickbutt as I happen to be, then she is also probably working towards conquering the world and realizes she needs to be the best version of her to do so. Because she is most likely self aware enough that she needs to be her best…..what your statement says is that you are not willing to invest time and be a part of that improvement.
- You are clearly not self aware. Cause unless you are walking around with zero body fat, the title of Mr. Olympia, and the servant heart of Mother Teresa, you need self improvement too. The difference is, that girl was probably willing to invest the time in you and would’ve probably loved you despite you not carrying the Mr. Olympia title.
- You are insecure. You need a “pretty” person to validate yourself. And you probably couldn’t have handled this girl anyway. That might seem a bit dramatic, but I promise you that deep down (maybe deeper for some than others) that plays a part. Maybe you are worried what your friends would think…..again…insecurity.
- Break out the DVD player and hook it up. I had previously played it through AirPlay on my Mac. Time elapsed: 15 minutes – we couldn’t get it to work. Who knows why.
- Put Introduction to Yoga for Beginners back into Mac and load up AirPlay. Make it through 7 minutes of DVD with a decent attempt at the moves.
- Stop for 3 minutes to talk about how this doesn’t seem beginner-isn at all.
- Try the next 3 moves in hopes that, over the last 10 minutes, you have caught on and the rest of the DVD will make you look like a real yogi. Breathe louder as you do this and the kid will think you are legit.
- Take a break for the next move/sequence. This dude is crazy if he thinks this is beginners. Explain to the kid that it’s not that you need a break, it’s just hard to see exactly what he is doing so you are going to readjust ourself.
- Do 1 more move. Try not to fall. Take a 5 minute break to teach your Spanish student how to say “Yoga” in American. 🙂
- Vote to try one of the other DVDs. Let’s try Hath and Flow for beginners. It mentioned relieving stress, so I’m always in for that! Do not show fear to the kid. Hit play with a confidence that lets her know “this is going to be fantastic”.
- Attempt the move where you raise your leg straight back in the air behind you, then bring your knee to your nose. All while you’re on your hands and knees/legs. Think to yourself “clearly this dude has never tried this with DDs and a flabby stomach in his way. The knee is NOT making it to this nose. Not today.”, but refrain from saying it out loud in front of your kid.
- Make a mental note to ask your yoga instructor during the next class exactly how many times she is willing to see you in person in a week versus you having to go through another failed DVD session. Make a second mental note to put the DVD set online to sell. Wait a day, if nobody buys it, give it away.
- Look up just to check on your kid, only to see her stick her leg up, try to lean forward into somewhat of a pushup pose, and fall flat on her face.
- Laugh hysterically for ten minutes. Embrace your core during laughing to get an extra ab or two. Because that ten minutes of laughter was more than any of the DVDs have done for you thus far.
- Carry your book to bed and stretch out while reading.
You know how sometimes you just know? You KNOW that was the right job to take. You KNOW moving to that new city was just right. You KNOW that coffee and caramel and whip cream all go together. You just KNOW.
Imagine walking into a room and just KNOWING that what was across the way was meant for you. Sure, you might pass by it trying to convince yourself that your mind is just playing tricks on you. You try to amuse yourself with other distractions as to forget about what you knew when you first walked in. You try to ignore that feeling in the pit of your stomach and the increased beats of your heart. You might even try to fill that space that you KNOW is supposed to be filled with just this one thing, with other things instead.
But sometimes you just know. So, finally you drift over to that part of the room where THAT THING is waiting on you. You reach out for just a soft touch and before you know it, arms are intertwined and you lose all inhibition.
That folks, is what it felt like when I went into Target recently. This furry vest drew me in like a moth to a flame. I tried other areas of the store for comfort. I am not supposed to be buying new clothes anyway so I needed to just put it out of my mind. Ok, maybe I’ll buy something new, but there is no reason for me to own a pink furry vest. I will just buy shoes instead. Nope. Nothing satisfied. I finally go over to try the vest on and convince myself that it just didn’t look right. I didn’t need the added layers on my body. Where would I really wear it to anyway? We just weren’t a match, I told myself. It would never work.
So, I left it. Hanging here for someone else to love. I’ll never be the same.
Even though this was maybe written a bit dramatically for a fur vest, it resembles my life more than I care to talk about. I cannot keep letting things get away just because I convince myself that I shouldn’t have them! If you KNOW something, if you feel it in all your bones and your heart beats faster for it…..then you have to go after it. It doesn’t have to to work. It doesn’t have to be the greatest thing you’ve ever done. But it cannot go unapproached. It just can’t!
Farewell pink furry vest of greatness. I will never forget the lesson you have taught me.