Selfie Sessions

Why do you take so many pics of yourself, Alicia? Isn’t that a sign of narcissism? Are you just looking for likes?

Nope. Let me explain (with hopefully not a lot of words)

Because. I. Want. To. 😝jkjk but, besides that….

Too many days are now spent in jammies or yoga pants, lacking human interaction that I thrive off of….

Too much money was spent on new makeup I’m experimenting with, not to be seen by at least one other human (and since I have no boo to share with and my friends and coworkers ain’t trying get blown up with Alicia selfies😂)

Too many years were filled with attaching any rejection to being because I must’ve been ugly (amongst other things)

Too many days were spent being physically and mentally abused and told over and over again that nobody has ever really liked me and nobody ever will and that I would never be worth looking at outside those 4 walls

Too many horrible decisions were worn on my face and carried in my eyes, for way too long…..and I didn’t recognize what it was. I just hated how I looked in pics and couldn’t put my finger on why

Too many working past midnight days (even these weekend projects have me up late) where I crashed with my makeup on and debated how important teeth brushing was….much less being kind to myself

Too many boxes moved and unpacked (that destroyed my manicure like nobody’s business) hoping that this GREAT life that is happening for me is real….or will disaster/crisis strike like seemingly every time before.

So. When human interaction, makeup and sassy lipstick, a great shirt with the cutest pleated sleeves makes me feel “alive” and like the Alicia I like best……you dang skippy I’m gonna catch that good light and file it away in the “when you feel gross” folder….like tonight after falling in the rain, sweating during garage work and wondering where my weekend went and why I didn’t do something fun, instead of stay alone. 😎 if that makes me a vain narcissist….then 🤷🏼‍♀️ so be it!

Not that I need or have to explain any reasoning. But I do have to tell you that ESPECIALLY in times like these, you should take way more feel good pictures versus spending one single second thinking you are anything less than to die for (because someone already thought you were to die for, actually).

I mean it. I really, really do. I’m laying here thinking about you and hoping you spend today being extra kind to yourself! ❤️

Let people be nice to and love themselves. Some of them spent YEARS learning to! Gotta go get that manicure now 😘. Leave a comment with a feel good pic of you!!

A Pickled Awakening

I have mentioned to several that it feels very weird to “have my life back”. I didn’t realize how much I was working (and how much of me and my time I was sacrificing) to try and keep up with the demands. I was one person, trying to serve as 4 (and failing pretty miserably in a lot of areas).

I prayed harder than I ever have in my life. I prayed for rest. For regroup. For my health. For a fresh start. For a place that would be a good job fit, but also allow me to fulfill (what I think is) my purpose outside of that realm. To be able to write again and be a champion for others to figure out just how great they really are. For someone to know my tough act was just that… act.

I got distracted. I took on friends that didn’t deserve the love and prayer I had to give (ok everyone deserves prayer). And unfortunately they also didn’t value it when it was given. Sadly, I had warning straight from the big man himself and still chose not to listen. I was left trying to pour from an empty cup. I was left a little cracked and almost shattered at this point. It’s not that person’s fault completely. I put them in a role they didn’t ask for and my expectations were never even voiced outside of my own head. Lesson learned. And it was a good one to learn. Not everybody deserves to know me intimately or deserves my gifts (I never looked at it that way before and more on that later – but it’s true).

And then I went back to praying for me. To be that better, charismatic, influential person that I knew was in there somewhere. She was just so damn tired. I couldn’t wake her.

Fast forward to present day…or present night. Where I’m sitting in my car, happy tears streaming down my face, eating pickles. And it’s messy (my face andy fingers – look, it’s day one of a healthy lifestyle change and I’m struggling and my coach said pickles are ok!)

For 4 weeks I have wondered around aimlessly at night. I have filled my time with a few (great) trips, Netflix, random dinners, or even literally just sitting on my couch doodling. I have had no idea what to do with myself because I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t going home just to let the dog out and change, so that I would be more comfortable if I was going to work til midnight. I haven’t “done anything” of significance out of fear. I think I keep waiting on someone to bust me out for not working. Like, it’s not real that I really go home at 5 and don’t have to answer emails. To say I’m having some adjustment issues I guess would be an understatement. 😎

But back to tonight….and my point. I ended up at a bible journaling class. I have wanted to do it for a long time but didn’t know where to start, so I was elated when a friend offered her expertise to help the less creatively fortunate.

It was like with every step I applied to my page, there was release. And happy. And exhale. I could’ve stayed there the rest of the night creating. Of course it’s no coincidence that the scripture page picked was basically a neon sign, reminding me that I am on purpose.

Y’all, that woman I have been searching for….she opened her eyes a little tonight. She woke up and stretched a little. She saw the sun peaking through the blinds. And someday soon (very soon), she is going to get out of that cave, put on the most obnoxiously bright dress and step back out into the sunshine.

And she is going to weigh less, both physically and mentally. She has heard every prayer. She has clung to every word of encouragement given to her. She has not taken for granted the “random” people who have recently crossed her path.

I am “she”. And I have never been more thankful or more aware of the season I have been in. Mark my words. SO MUCH greatness is coming from it. And I can’t wait!!!

SO THANKFUL for the most therapeutic exercise and night I have had in forever (and looking forward to lots more nights of creative journaling).

And I am praying that you, the beautiful/handsome one who has hung in to read thus far, finds just the right therapy that awakens the greatness in you too!!!


Fyi – this is not a knock on my old company. I made my own choices. I learned A LOT and more than cherish some of the great people I learned from and now call friend.

The Adele Hangover Explained

I cannot remember a time when I anticipated a human’s existence as much as I have the return of Adele.  I tried to prepare myself as much as possible.  I even entertained the thought of waiting til Saturday to download the album (psssh – puh-lease) just so that I could be completely and emotionally available to soak it up.  Instead, I downloaded at 12:34 in the morning, listened to it as many times as I could before I crashed at 2:30 a.m., wrote about it and now the only thing I am preparing for is the crash of the internet she is surely bringing with her today.
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I am legitimately suffering from an Adele hangover.  And in an effort to help you navigate the emotional roller coaster you are about to go on when you hit play, I have given you a brief recap of each song.  It would be silly of you to think you were going to download and listen to only a couple of songs.  So you’ll need to be sure you read this going in.
Overall, I expected another sad album that would leave me in the deep pit of despair while drowning my candy cane flannel pajamas in my wine induced tears.  Instead, there were moments of “yeah, you can shove it mr ex…..” and hope, and acceptance of the life that was….and that I’m gonna be ok.
GLORY GLORY Adele.  You could not have done a better job.  I’m actually concerned about you as a person.  The attention you are about to get is going to be overwhelming.  I hope you don’t wear yourself out.
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Without further delay, let’s get started.
By Track:
1.  Hello – there isn’t much left to say about this one.  Unless you have been living under a rock, you have already heard this one and are clear on her message.  At this point, we should all have this one on our list of songs to belt out in the car.  I am hoping, if you are a seasoned Adele fan, that you have already worked through the emotion of this one.



2.  Send My Love (To Your New Lover) – IF I have to pick a favorite right this second, it’s this one. It’s just where I am at.  I’m hurt and a little angry at my ex.  He promised things and dragged me through empty promises and a few years of making me think I was asking too much or crazy for expecting to be treated like a decent human being worth someone’s effort (he didn’t even put effort into replying to the break up text).  He has already moved on with his new love who I’m sure is wonderful and making him the happiest person on the planet (so you can see where her line of “You set me free.  Send my love to your new lover.” has a ring to it for me).  I have dwelled on hearing about him do all the nice things he does to win someone over up front and how I wasn’t enough to make him keep loving me past that.  This song single handedly, in a matter of 3:43, got me over that.  I’m proud to say I’m now in the phase of, “have fun with that mess.  It will wear off and you’ll see the real him. And I’ll just be over here remembering that I am enough and I have great things ahead.”  Thank you Adele.  I will send you a check for the therapy and I’ll be singing the lines of “I’m giving you up. I’m forgiving it all.  You set me free.” allllllll day.
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3.  I Miss You – I didn’t know I could miss someone right next to me.  But the next time I am actually with someone, this song will probably be all in my head and I will secretly be doing a video montage that has a “seize the moment” theme.  It will be a mix of the passion from the early days of Fitz and Olivia from Scandal, a flash image of that one time a guy and I made eyes at the airport that clearly said “we would be explosive together”, and the short imagination that I have the body of a Victoria Secret model walking across a semi-dark room in slow motion.
4.  When We Were Young – This song says “We had some good moments.  It was kinda like a storybook.  I wasn’t expecting to run into you.  I didn’t know I would feel this way when I saw you again.  So I need to tell you about it, if you have a sec.  But please don’t try to win me back. Let’s just have a quick moment and move along.”  This has the potential to make me really miss someone from way back when who, at the time, seemed like the greatest thing ever.  I could easily have a few drinks and be swayed into thinking they still might be that great………until his wife and 4 kids walk up and he says “get er done”………gotta be careful with this song! 🙂
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5.  Remedy – I needed a break from my own love life. The songs were making me too raw.  So I chose to look at this as an ode to all my kick butt friends.  Maybe a little out there.  But I couldn’t take myself to imagining this song being played as a message to my groom standing at the end of the aisle waiting on me to walk down (side note – you can bet this will play at 9/10 weddings you attend in 2016).  But I could let myself think of all my “core people”.  Especially the ones in rough times right now.  I want to be the Remedy for them.  Cheesy? Maybe so.  But I love my tribe.  This song makes me happy to have them.
6.  Water Under the Bridge – Second favorite.  Sadly, also applicable to at least 5 of the past guys I’ve dated.  Instead of talking to my friend about how “they always drag me along, drop me, but then realize I wasn’t that bad after all, and come back around.” or “they just keep me hanging cause they can’t decide.”, I’m just gonna put this song on and wait.  This song will also be applied to my shower dance routine.  It just has a good beat and I have killer hip moves in my shower concerts. It just seems natural to incorporate.
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7.  River Lea – For every person who tries to tell me how to live my love life, this song is for you…..well, the first couple of lines are anyway.  The rest of them are for every dating situation that I sabotage before they even have a chance to turn into something good.  It’s an apology before we even get started.  Because of who I am, I will probably leave.  But it’s ok.  I’m ok.  And you will be too.
8. Love in the Dark – At first, I thought Adele was relating to every girl who has despised being naked in front of a man in the light.  But then, I realized, that once again, she must have followed my most recent ex and I around.  She puts a simple “We have to be done here.” to beautiful music.  At least in the song, when she is being brave and trying to leave on the best note as possible, she gives the hint that the guy doesn’t want her to and tries to make her stay for 5 seconds.  I can’t say the same for my situation.  But thanks to her, it’s makes me think it’s ok.  We’ll move on.  We’ll live our different adventures and be better for it.  But, for the record, I still don’t want to be naked in the light in front of anyone.  Ever.
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9.  Million Years Ago – Regret.  Loneliness.  Longing.  Only listen to this one if you can sit in front of a window, looking into a field, reminisce on your past journey and then shake it off.  It will be too easy to listen to this one and get stuck.  Don’t do it.  Fight it.  This song is the only permission you have to do something crazy immediately following. Book a skydiving adventure.  Write a book real quick……do something.  Anything.  Hurry before you dwell so hard on what you never did that you never come out of it!
10.  All I Ask – You all just thought she was going to address exes in this new album. Nope. She throat punches you with taking friends to the next level too. Get out of my head, lady. I will not conspire with you! This song will tempt you to confront someone you “think” you might have more feelings for.  Don’t do it.  Don’t leave your heart at their door and ask them to hold you like they are more than friends.  This can’t work out well for anyone.  We’re all scared that we might not love again, Adele.
(I believe she meant something totally different than I interpreted – maybe like a “If this has to end, let’s not make it a mess.  Let’s just soak it up in case we don’t ever find another love.”  But in Alicialand – you get a different spin.)
11.  Sweetest Devotion – I let you in.  I wasn’t expecting to like you.  You came in with a hammer apparently and tore down some walls when I wasn’t looking.  And that turned out pretty cool.  You make me want to be a better person.  I value your opinion.  Let’s do this. I’m all in.  
See, she gives us a happy ending.
And this is why it should’ve been perfectly acceptable to call in to work with an Adele hangover today.  We should also just cancel all awards shows next year and throw one big Adele award party.
The End.

Do It Anyway!

I love writing. I love shopping in my closet. Lately I have been doing more of both than usual and I cannot tell you what it does for my soul. Writing really is great therapy. Shopping in my closet really is helpful on the pocketbook.   

I am far from being a disciplined person. I am the poster child for falling off wagons. I have no idea why I stop doing things that are so good for me. But, I do. And I’m hoping someone else out there does too. Ok, maybe I shouldn’t hope that someone else falls off the wagon as much as I do. But, I do hope someone out there at least can understand what I am saying. 

Last week was a good week. I was full of routine, and words to type, and clothes to brag about. I was ahead in my writing. And then busyness came to visit. Hate it when he shows up! 🙂 Before I knew it, my weekend was gone and even faster than that, Monday night showed up. Scratch that. I am now sitting on Tuesday night with a VERY early Wednesday morning staring me in the face. 

I want to write something epic. I want to put together a beautiful collage of outfit goodness. But the truth is, I just don’t have it in me. I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed with life right now. And I am really angry at my newly diagnosed disease with medicine that makes me almost sick enough to call my momma. The worst part? None of that matters. It really doesn’t. Because I still have to function in society as a productive human. The faux kid has to be fed. The work has to be done. The dog has to be walked. The laundry has to be tended to. The list goes on. 

Can we be even more honest with each other for a second? The last thing I want to think about or hear is “it could be worse.” Or “Too blessed to be stressed.” 

Yeah, I said it. Now what? Well, I’ll tell you?

1. I don’t have to be Positive Polly. I don’t have to try and inspire or pretend like I’m just dandy. What I do have to do to stay mentally healthy is own my emotion. I have to, but that doesn’t mean that others have to own my emotions as well. Being truthful with yourself about how you feel is not a bad thing. Negatively affecting others is. 

2. Being all the things I listed above are ok. Letting them move in and dwell is not. Thank them for stopping by, but push them on their way down the road. 

3. Do it anyway. Oh how I hated when my dad would say that. But he is right. Had I kept from writing tonight, the “blah” would’ve won and set me a few steps back. I am trying every single day lately to do things that move me forward. I wrote anyway. I promised myself one paragraph and the outfit pic was the least I could do. Now, look where we are! Lots of words later! 

4. DON’T BE MEAN! To others for sure, but ESPECIALLY not to yourself. 
I already feel better! Don’t you? I came across some oldies outfit pics that I never posted, so I am sharing those today. Some of my favs!

Peace, love and good outfit vibes! 

When I thought the world was ending (an oldie but a goodie)

I am exhausted. Too exhausted to have enough thoughts to make a real post. So I cheated and pulled an old one from the archives. 🙂 i apparently was covering my bases in preparation of the world ending.

Here ya go.
If that’s true for 2012……

Then I better get busy blogging. JUST IN CASE the aliens that take over want some reading material to see what us humans have been up too!

In all seriousness, I can’t possibly believe this year is the end so I for one will continue with life as usual. But that’s neither here nor there and establishing an opinion on the matter is not a requirement for reading or following this blogging madness.

Just as a little insight, here’s how my blogging works. I randomly think of things. Then I log them in the notebook portion of my iphone. When I have time, I go back through all the notes I have made and log them for all the world to see. Sometimes, I wonder what on earth I was talking about, but nevertheless, they get recorded and reported. With all that said, these are in no particular order.

– I apparently took notes during a speech or sermon or something but came across this and found it useful to share.

  • Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers. Someone needs you to show kindness to them more than you need it shown to you. Just be kind. (hmmm, well that is a slap in the “it’s not all about you face” now isn’t it)

Quote of the day: It will never rain roses. When we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses. George Eliot

Song of the day: Eric Hutchinson, Rock and Roll. Particularly I like the part where he says “If she wanna stay she stays. If she wanna go she goes”. Can you say theme song?

Family Time: You know you’re from the country or have a redneck family when they gather and one of the first questions is “How many deer did you see on the way over here?”…..yeah, that happens almost every single time we gather somewhere. And all I think is that I did good to drive at all, much less count deer.

Things I forgot: I recently posted my 2011 year in review. And I almost forgot one of the most scandalous things about my year……ok, it totally wasn’t scandalous but it was mysterious….or as mysterious as you can get for my life. I randomly reconnected with some “old guy” that I had always had a crush on my whole entire life. And you know what happened in that night? We talked a ton. And it was some of the best conversation I had all year. But you know what else….I realized he is eternally screwed up. Just goes to show that everything is not what it seems.

– And to that point… the last 6months I have tried to be increasingly more earnest in asking for others thoughts and opinions before acting. I truly value MOST people’s outlook and opinion. And based on the fact that I’m a huge “act before I think” kinda gal, this new tactic has proven extremely beneficial. Clearly I left out other’s opinions in visiting with old dude…..and now that I think about it, this paragraph has nothing to do with the above. Anyway, moving on.

History lesson: this last week, I reconnected with a prom date from when I was in 9th grade on Facebook. He went to a different school and it was his SR prom. I think (looking back of course), he genuinely liked me. Unfortunately, I was too much of a brat to appreciate this. (the fact of whether he really liked me or not is really up for interpretation I guess, but for story telling purposes, he did, madly in love as a matter of fact…because this only turns out lame for me so I need all the fairy tale I can get out of it) ANYWAY…..I wouldn’t say the prom night went “bad” but it was rather uneventful from what I remember. And I guess he was completely over me because he mailed me a copy of the pics. Yep, that’s right, in the mail (this was back before USPS was uncool kids). Later, everyone tried to tell me how smart he was, etc. But noooooooooo, I was busy with other things and never took the time to really know him. Well, he graduated from Harvard, went into the military and basically became a hero, is now in politics and I’m pretty sure has probably never failed at anything he’s ever tried. He also doesn’t have braces or acne, and seems to be maybe one of the most sincerely nicest guys I might sort of know. I’m sure you can tell where the moral of this story is going. Oh well, we all know I wouldn’t last 5 minutes as a politicians wife right? The most I can hope for is that he has moved past my brattiness and that we can become friends.

Recently in the news: A local Target store allowed an “in store protest” or “awareness” if you will of breast feeding in public. They had a table set up in the front of the store with women breast feeding their children right there in front of God and everybody (as my momma would say). I almost feel like commenting on this further is pointless because you should all know how I feel. But, in case the person reading this is new to Alicialand, let me just say “REALLY???????”…..FOR THE LOVE! Cover it up ladies. Yes, it’s the best thing you can do for your kid. It’s the most awesome bond between a mom and child. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with being discreet about it. Plan your trip to Target around the kid’s feeding schedule….get a room, something, anything. I’m pretty sure if I walked around with my boob hanging out and a sequined tassel attached to it (I have no kids to feed) in an effort to express my bond with myself, that you all would be offended. Common sense, respect…..get some. GEEZ!

About me: Insulting my intelligence is never a good idea or approach to dealing with me. Ever. I give you more than enough opportunity to make fun of me on a regular basis. You are free to use that how you need to. But insulting my intelligence is just asking for a game of leap frog with a unicorn. Clearly I’m referencing a recent incident but I felt like it would also be a good time to educate the rest of America.

– You wanna get me worked up in 0.2 seconds? Sit a shallow guy in front of me talking about how he’s not interested because of fat. That’ll do it every time. And no matter how far I’ve come in the self control department, I will never be able to keep my mouth shut. I can report that after a brief conversation about it, I’m pretty sure he and I will not be friends. He will also not be invited to Aliciapalooza 2012.

Pop Quiz: Do you tell a complete stranger that is obviously trying to play mr cool guy that his button fly is unzipped? I was so torn….he was really serious about being a bada$$.

Dating: When girlfriends say “if he’s really interested, he’ll make time to spend with you”, I have always resorted to excuses, justifications, defenses, etc. I’ve never let myself believe that was true because whomever I was with at the time had a perfectly good reason for not spending time with me. The older I get, the more I’m learning that it’s true. It’s just sad that I’m having to learn it by being an example of it.

– I would also like to give a shout out to the movie industry for making me believe that boys fix what’s wrong and that it all works out in the end with happily ever after. Lame movie people. Very lame.

Lame: As if the Delilah radio show isn’t bad enough. Delilah playing in the hotel lobby while you’re waiting on a friend is worse. You can’t escape that. Since I was forced to listen, I will share the following story. A man calls in talking about a previous broken heart. He’s all healed now and wants her to pick a song for him. She picks….wait for it….Walking in a Winter Wonderland. Really? I may be somewhat single and not good at dating, but thank goodness this chick isn’t in charge of my love playlist.

Logistically speaking: I find it very interesting that literally almost all of the apartments in my particular building are empty, yet every flippin parking space is taken and I have to park at another building. I’m pretty sure this isn’t rocket science.

Let’s have some inspiration: Hope is more than a word – it’s a state of being. It’s a firm belief that even if you don’t know how, even if you don’t know when, God will come through, and BETTER DAYS ARE AHEAD. Life brings rain…hope dances in the puddles until the sun comes out again. (from a great little devotional)

All things random: I think about the number 57 and 762 all the time. It makes no sense. I’m sure there is some deep rooted issue…feel free to analyze. I’m open.

– In reading through my notes, 67 days ago, it says I posted “today is the day we stop the bleeding, Go Rangers” . And 67 days later, I’m still sad we lost. Boo.

– The iphone should’ve never given me the update to see if people on ichat are replying to my texts. Anyone who knows me for more than five minutes knows that I hate being ignored. Now I’m just going to watch for dotted bubbles of friends typing responses all dang day.

– If you don’t like the show Big Bang Theory, you are simply certifiable. It’s better than any reality show out there. And any show that gives Blossom a second chance has to be good right?

– A while back on a dating website (and I mean a while back, but keep in mind, I got notes to go through) a guy popped up and his thumbnail picture was him in head gear. I get excited thinking I’ve got a pilot on my hands……Nope. A gamer. Fail. That is not a good pic to use on a dating website pumpkin. You are trying to convince girls you have a life and want to include them in it. Not that you lock yourself in a room and play video games.

– Some people’s self-righteousness gets on my nerves. And using Facebook as an outlet is lame. You’re crazy, manipulative and if you don’t like somebody, then you’re whole cult following doesn’t like them. Rude. And lame.

– Don’t like Facebook? Don’t use it. Simple. Things change, especially in technology. So when updates are made, refrain from griping. Invent something better if you don’t like it or go away.

– Why can’t I sleep all night without peeing anymore?

Therapy Session: I saw someone out and about recently who HATES me. Not even kidding. And I honestly have no idea why. I mean, usually I at least have an idea. Not with this person. It brought back memories of the time she told someone else I was a complete troll. I actually used to “wanna be this girl”. She is hilarious and seems to be popular. But to call someone that without a valid reason or to hate someone unbeknownst to them is completely beyond me. It still makes me sick to think of the moment I heard her call me that. It bothers me even more that she goes on with life of everyone thinking how great she is. But, that doesn’t for one second mean that I’m not great too. And do I really want to be a part of that kind of crowd that acts like that towards people? Absolutely not. Am I perfect? Nope. But do I call people trolls for no reason or without even having enough balls to even tell me why you don’t like me? Nope.

And that should be enough to get us started for 2012. Happy World Ending Year folks!

Babyless Single Woman Enters Nursery War Zone

Ok.  So, maybe it wasn’t a complete war zone (although judging by the amount of toys pulled out it could certainly pass for at least a mine field) but it certainly was the night they let a single woman be in charge of the nursery.  And it was not without obstacles.

Once per month, I signed up to volunteer for babysitting.  I get to watch precious kiddos while foster parents take the classes they need to qualify for fostering.  It’s a GREAT program called The Call.  I am so happy to get to be a part of helping families open up their homes to sweet kids who have become a part of the system for whatever reason.  So far, I have only had one night of this and it was with one sweet four year old boy who was very low maintenance.  For my second night, I was given the babies.  The following are the happenings of that adventure:

1.  I had 5 children that ranged from the ages of 4 months through 2 years.  I also was fortunate to have a young girl as a helper.  I cannot remember a time in my life that I was ever around this many children of these young ages.  I am confident in my ability to handle this situation because I manage million dollar programs in my job, kids love me, and I have all this new found energy with my detox challenge.  I accept my mission gladly.

2.  I quickly learned that the average attention span for this age is about 4.2 seconds.  I have always wondered why parents buy this age so many toys.  How will they remember them or why would they care how many toys they have?  Now I know.  Because with the attention span of 4.2 seconds, you need at least 8,000,004 toys to go through.  It is rare that they go back to the same toy twice.  Or it was tonight anyway….believe me, I tested this theory to the fullest.

3.  Even though these kids could not talk well, that did not keep you from seeing the 5 completely different personalities.  The more I think about it, fitting those little and widely different personalities into a closed room is much like a lot of the adult meetings I have on a daily basis.  Too bad when one of the adults takes my toys, I can’t say “mine” and hit them like these kids do so freely! : )

4.  For the ones that could speak tonight, the common sentence stated was “mine”.  Yes, that is a sentence to them.  It states boldly a noun, verb, adjective and so forth : )

5.  At first, when little miss two year old had her melt down over not getting anymore Goldfish for snack (after she had already had two helpings and some cheese puffs) I wondered what on earth had gone so wrong in her day that no more Goldfish warranted this kind of melt down. Then, I realized how eery it was that I could relate.  I am on day 7 of a 21 day detox and sat and watched coworkers eat Chuy’s Mexican food at lunch today (my fav Mexican in this area).  Inside I was having a melt down of my own and restraining myself from stealing food off of their plates.  We have more in common than you know during this melt down princess.

6.  This age group has zero interest in my Mega Bloks tower that I strategically built.  All I wanted was a little praise and all they wanted was to destroy it with their tractors, trucks, and precious little hands.  I will address with my therapist, it’s already on my list : )

7.  Actually no.  No I cannot work the child safety door knobs.  But thanks for making it look so easy sixth grade girl helper.  She didn’t know I couldn’t work them.  I just secretly watched her and copied.

8.  The mom of the four month old stated that the baby will not drink the bottle unless it’s warm.  Lucky for me, there was this gadget on the top shelf that looked like it might be a bottle warmer.  I have no idea how I even knew this but I just had a feeling (maybe that’s code for my biological clock?….oh…wait…..).  I plug it in and push a button and expect it to work.  When it doesn’t (after several pushes of the button), I resort to pulling out my phone and googling it.  I watched a YouTube video as well as read two articles in order to learn this gadget.  The bottle was warmed.  The baby was happy.  The end.

9.  You cannot ignore the smell of a dirty diaper.  You can be in denial about it but you cannot ignore it.  I feel like the fact that I located the source (since I had three in diapers to choose from), changed the diaper (even though the kid WOULD NOT be still), and knew where to dispose the diaper (in those tube like things that seem to work like a bank drive through), that I can definitely conquer the world like I have planned.

10.  I have helped pick up friend’s kids at daycares and such before and am always barely getting in by the last minute if not late all together.  I completely understand why these places charge you by the minute if you’re late.  When you are given a time that you are to be in a room with wild banshies, you start watching the clock for the countdown of your relief.  It’s the moment you know that your sanity may return.  Every minute past that proposed end time and you feel like you may never know what it’s like to talk to another adult, wear a spit-up free shirt, wear other scents besides hand sanitizer…….I completely get it now and will be a loud advocate for being on time to pick up your child.  Should a parent be late for any reason (which I have seen those reasons on other volunteer projects be something as simple as standing out in the lobby chatting) they should show up with chocolate, prozac, or a massage gift certificate for the worker staying late to keep their child.  Especially if that care is free.  : ) *please note* this did not happen during this particular session I am speaking of.  It just made me think of the times that it has happened to others I know as well as me being the late one sometimes in the past.

11.  They did enjoy my singing them a few little songs which is more than I can say for my coworkers who never seem to fully appreciate the daily desk concerts I give them.

Overall it was a fantastic time.  I love kids so much more than I could ever convey here. I gladly take most any opportunity to be around them.  I only had them for two hours or so and am already wondering how on earth you parents do it full time.  I worked all day, did baby duty, worked when I got home, and am barely staying awake to type this.  Being a parent is a super power of it’s own.  If you’ve read this far, thanks for hanging in there.  I am too tired to even give this a thorough spell check, grammar check (not that my grammar is ever great on this blog) or format check.  I’m having a hard time even talking myself into changing into my jammies.  I feel more like it’s been one of those nights back in my old party days where I just went home and passed out on my bed “as is”.

I finally understand how no sound can be an amazing sound as I sat in silence for 5 minutes after they all left soaking up the peace and thanking God for the chaos that came before it!

Life is good.  I am so blessed with people who are willing to let me share their kids in absence of being able to have my own. This post was meant for humor purposes from my random mind only and not to offend.