Late Night Laptop Talk

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I’m just now shutting my laptop for the night and going to bed. A bed that has “half on” sheets because I have just been too tired to care if they are on right or at all.

I have no Christmas decorations up AT ALL (for the first time in my entire life). And at this point, I doubt any of it will get done.

I haven’t planned my funny single Christmas card (you know you have all been dying for an update on that one)

I’m quite possibly at an all time high for being a terrible friend.  I know I’ve missed texts and let too many go unanswered. I can’t remember to return calls.  I certainly don’t call my mother as often as I should. I fail to check in with people and make time to visit with those I haven’t seen in a while.

If it weren’t for Facebook, I wouldn’t know when even my closest friends were celebrating birthdays.  I haven’t kept a hang out commitment in ages (sorry Rob and Jessica).

I have stepped away from people simply out of the lessening of tolerance levels and the realization that you don’t have to accept other’s mistreatment of you, out of obligation.  And I’m not even a little bit sorry for doing it.

I’m not kind to my body.  I’m actually being the most unkind it’s probably ever experienced from me. And it’s not even rebelling anymore as much as it’s just sad and tired and defeated.

When someone says “you are always so put together”, I cringe and look over my shoulder, worried that they will find out how “un put together” I really am…..or that there will be a number of my enemies in line to point it out for them (or that they saw me barely be able to find clothes to wear this morning).

This has been the weirdest and one of the most challenging seasons of my life.  I have been stubborn in not taking real rest.  I have laid in bed in the mornings wondering how in the heck I got anything done the day before, and how on earth I’m going to get anything done today. I have wished for some magical fairy to see where I struggle and just show up and help without me having to admit that I need it! (i.e. putting up my Christmas decorations lol)

BUT……….Also….

I’m the toughest I’ve been in a while.  These last six months have brought battles I never thought I would be in (cancer blows).  Yet my mind has not even remotely let me dwell in a place of negativity or fear.  I’m a worrier by nature and haven’t been able to even do that.

My career has stretched me more than I thought it could or would. And every time I try to have a minute of “I don’t want to do this.” Or “I can’t do this” or whatever, I’m immediately shown that I am equipped for this season and am growing in ways that can only mean that I’m about to launch into something really great.  And my years of hard work and trying to overcome are finally paying off.

Even though my friends may be fewer, the ones that are in this season with me are patient and showing me staying power that I didn’t even know I needed.  And, I’m being exposed to new friends that I can’t wait to grow (already love you, Chelsea).

I’m sticking up for myself and I’m taking less crap.  And man, does that feel good!

I’m making the most out of the free time I have and being wise in how I choose to spend it. I don’t get a lot of free time these days (see exhibit A – late night laptop pic :p ), and I know that load isn’t going to lighten any time soon. So, I try to be very intentional about how I spend my free time.  And it’s making me realize that some things are just ok undone (Like not putting up a Christmas tree – ok, that one is still breaking my heart, but you get what I’m saying).

I’m more focused.  Which is weird to say since so much of life for me right now is so out of sorts (I.e. that pile of unfolded laundry).  For the first time, I’m seeing that there is a longer term play and end game and not sacrificing that for the temporary (haven’t quite applied this to my self care and body yet lol).  So, the late nights, although tiring, are still serving a longer term purpose that I know will pay off.

I appreciate the “off” things.  Like those picture frames that are off center.  Every time my door closes, they get knocked that way.  It used to drive me crazy. And I still straighten them from time to time, but not as much as I used to.  Because them being crooked means I have been living life outside of this apt 🙂

Literally every time my mind has even acted like it was going to take a right down “bad thought lane”, something happens to immediately shut it off.  Sometimes it’s a pause (which is new territory for me).  Sometimes it’s someone who crosses my path in that moment with a word of encouragement or just enthusiasm in general. Sometimes it’s my dog crawling up next to me, when normally he’s at my feet. It’s a host of things like that, that seem to show up and say “nope, back to focus, you’re growing and the other side is magical”.

I’ve done a lot of late night, cheesy rattling to simply try to say that it’s ok to give yourself permission to be in a weird place. It’s ok to ramble and post it on a blog and risk people not understanding (especially if writing makes you this happy and serves it’s therapeutic purpose).

It’s ok to be in that weird place and feel uncomfortable (I still can’t wrap my mind around how we got to December so fast and how little I accomplished).  Sometimes it takes these kinds of places to prompt us into serious action (as in I will NEVER go through another holiday season this “naked” and non-celebratory).

It’s ok to say all the same cheesy things that a million Instagram quote/memes say and have people roll their eyes about it (because there is probably one person who wishes they could say the same things out loud – and connecting with that one person through you being out loud and transparent is more than worth the other 6,000 eye rolls and skip overs)

Just don’t go so far that you can’t come back.  🙂

Fancy Goes To The Holiday Party

Ah, the holidays!  One of the most fun times of the year!  Christmas decor, holiday parties, ugly sweater goodness and now  A NEW DOLLY PARTON MOVIE (just what I needed to continue to feed my love for her)!  In honor of her Christmas movie airing today (that I have been anxiously awaiting for and assume you’re watching), I’m not only sporting a snazzy, what I hope would be Dolly approved outfit to work, I’m giving you a sneak peak into my holiday party outfit options.  Even though I have a feeling I know what Dolly would pick, I’m going to let you vote on your favorite look!  Whichever one gets the most votes (no matter which one I’m partial to, you know, kinda like an American election), is what I will wear to the party.  Promise. 

In addition to some great outfits (or what I feel are great outfits), I’ve also put together party prep list!

Enjoy!  I can’t wait to see which outfit wins!


Party Prep Checklist:

  1.  Understand the party dress code.  Then, wear what you want anyway.
  2. Make sure that what you wear won’t get you fired.
  3. Look in the mirror and say “This is going to be so much fun! I look fabulous”
  4. Take pictures and show the internet (no matter how badly you don’t want to and no matter how worried you are at what people will say of your cheesy shots, that you had a blast with…..not that I’m talking about the pics you are about to scroll through or anything)
  5. Pre-game.  This step is important.  Do something to relax you before going into the potential sea of judgement and lame office jokes (thankfully, our office party is guaranteed to be lame free so I’m not even worried.  I’m just saying you should be aware of the potential for you to encounter lameness).  Have a couple of glasses of wine.  But stay away from shots of tequila (until you get to the party and you see your boss throwing them back).  Turn up some good music while you’re getting ready and dance like you’re a star in a Paula Abdul video.
  6. Make sure if you’re taking a date, that he/she isn’t lame.
  7. Go to the party.
  8. Laugh, have fun, don’t make a jerk out of yourself that could later haunt you (like getting too drunk, lashing out at people you think hate you and slamming car doors……I’ve heard of that happening)
  9. Assume everyone that is staring at you is only thinking how fabulous your outfit is and how they wish they would’ve dressed more fun.
  10. If there is music, dance. Even if you wouldn’t normally do such a thing.

That’s it.  That’s all you have to do (other than stay sober enough not to stick your foot in your mouth).

Now, the outfits!

The party is a dressy casual event.  Most will wear jeans and a nice top or a fun dress.  When discussing the attire during our staff meeting, it was well established that they could make whatever decision they wanted, but that I would be wearing snazzy stuff no matter how casual they decided 🙂  Funny enough, nobody in the room seemed surprised by my announcement!

Sequins and Jeans (which also happens to be the outfit I am wearing to work today.  It’s completely justified as explained in this previous blog.  Click here to read it real quick)



Dressy Casual:

I was worried this look would look too plain.  Turns out, I ended up thinking it has the perfect balance of casual and snazzy!


Green and Bling: 

I am in love with this skirt and how well the necklace compliments the outfit!!  Guess what else?  The skirt has pockets!!!!!!!  Winning all around!


Rose Gold Magic:

I don’t want to influence or rig the voting (too soon?), but I cannot deny that this one is my favorite thus far.  It’s magical.  Just look at how fun it is and how it fits!


So, let me hear it!  What’s your favorite?

Outfit pieces:

Skirts: SocietyPlus

Jeans/Peplum Jacket/Red Shoes: Lane Bryant

Varsity Jacket: JC Penney

Black Top: Melissa McCarthy for Lane Bryant

Clutches: Primark

Necklace: Rue 21

 

Christmas thoughts…..

Christmas really is a wonderful time of the year isn’t it?  Who doesn’t love snow, Christmas decor, presents etc.  But there are a few things that swirl around in my head during this season that i thought I would share with planet earth.

Christmas lights….all or nothing.  Either rival the Griswalds or don’t do anything at all.  I have passed several houses with one strip of lights.  I don’t get it and I am sorry that you even spent time doing it.  Christmas lights are as exciting as fireworks and nobody gets excited over one firecracker that barely blows up 🙂

Dieting during the holidays – I am fairly certain it is easier to pass a bill in congress than to stay 100% to your healthy lifestyle during the holidays.  I admire those who can do it.  I just wish I was better at it.  But when your 90 year old granny makes a pecan pie and looks at you with those precious eyes and says “aren’t you going to have a piece of pie”…I, for one, am not going to be the person who says no to her and risk hurting her feelings…….would you? 🙂  My goal this year is to just keep moving during the holidays versus crashing on the couch after gorging myself.  Moderation and movement, that’s my theme.  I’ll keep you posted on how it goes but if Oreo balls come into play, I cannot make any promises.

To this day, our family opens present in age order.  And even as an adult, I secretly am screaming at all those going before me to “hurry up” so I can tear into my gifts 🙂  The struggle is real.

I LOVE this Elf on the Shelf business.  I would gladly steal a kid during this season to be able to partake in Elf on the Shelf.

I don’t know about your family but my Christmas rule is that I take home “x” amount of liquor to visit and when that runs out, I’m coming home.  🙂  I love my family.  I love them even more when we are all cramped into a tiny space eating, laughing and I’ve had a few 🙂

I used to look forward to Christmas for epic gifts.  Now I mostly look forward to it in hopes that my nieces think I got them the best gift and they remember me for years to come and the fun times we had.

Black Friday is of the devil.  I don’t get it, I refuse to participate most of the time and if I do participate it is in the company of fun friends and solely to laugh at the chaos of the moment.  I took advantage of the Michael Kors outlet sale in 2012, and that is the only time I have ever thought black friday was worth it 🙂

I am dying to send out a Christmas card even though I’m single.  I have been too chicken in the past but have decided that in the future I am just doing it anyway!  One of my fav things to kick off the holiday season is to gather my favorite little people (the nieces) and dress them up for family pictures.  It’s complete chaos, they rarely cooperate, and I wonder when we are done if there is going to be one single pic that turns out.  But, they always do.  It always ends up being a blast and this year was the best yet!!  (see shamelessly shared pics from the session below)

What are your holiday quirks or traditions?

Fun on the farm :)farm-alicia099.jpglargethumb farm-alicia116.jpglargethumb

Cleaning out my head…..

When you have so much to say that you cant make a status out of it…..or you could but people would hate you for taking up their whole scroll screen….you blog.  Even though this whole revolution has been on hiatus….and the revolution itself is supposed to be aw inspiring us to be better women…….sometimes you just need to have a random chat with your girlfriends out there!  You know, like a pulse check just to see if the crazy randomness running around in your head is going on with anyone else.  so….here we go……

  • I feel like i should buy a honda just to help Michael Bolton out.  These commercials of him standing on a Honda singing in a plaid scarf are wearing me out.  It just makes me sad for him.  How did we go to the greatness of “How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends” to this?
  • Stop with the neon colored wrapping paper. That is not what christmas presents should be wrapped in.  I am trying to be ok with trees of crazy colors and decor, but nobody should go all “Lisa Frank” with the wrapping paper.
  • Recently I went with a group of girls to get a massage.  There were 4 of us.  Three of them got girls for their appts…..I got a guy.  But not just any guy.  Oh no…..I got the blind guy.  After helping him to our room, he advises me to put my shoes at the end of the bed and lay face down and he will be back in shortly.  I put my shoes at the end of the bed, but apparently it was the wrong end causing him to stumble.  As if we weren’t off to a bad enough start, I also laid face up and when he thought he was starting my massage on my back…..we both quickly realized I was in the wrong position.  Even more sad is that he apparently knew not because i was freaked out that he was touching my breasts, but because they aren’t as firm as my back he said.  Thank you for rubbing it in that my back is firmer than my newly saggy boobs.  After a very awkward 50 minutes, that craziness was over and I was reunited with my girlfriends who had a wonderful experience and were way more relaxed than myself.
  • Speaking of saggy boobs.  Out of all the aging that is going on in my body right now (wrinkles, gravity, smaller bladder, hot flashes, etc)…..the boob issue is by far the worse.  I’m not sure when my boobs went from firm to needing steel beams to hold them up but I am not a fan.  I used to not believe in plastic surgery but at this point, I’m not even sure where to start.  I know that I am definitely interested in a punch card program!
  • The new cowgirl show. That one that follows these girls around to rodeos while they ride horses in bikinis?…..yeah, no.  stop.  I am not kidding when I say if these reality shows get much more stupid, I’m gonna start doing all those things as a big girl and videoing it.  It’s not real.  Girls don’t ride horses with rock bodies in bikinis.
  • I really just wanna sit and talk to people. Whats a girl gotta do to get Barbara Walter’s position?  I have been caught up three times in the last week just coming across random people to talk to.  And they were all nice thankfully.  It makes my heart happy to hear people’s stories.
  • I recently got the pleasure of being the emcee at my company Christmas party’s gift exchange. I may or may not have used it to my advantage to say inappropriate things just to watch my boss squirm. Below are some quotes as captured by Miles.

“Thats classy. Steal from the bosses wife.”
“You have a choice. Alcohol. Meat. Gift cards. @adelmore not rocket science”
“Its Baileys. Put it in your coffee and call it a day. Whats the problem? @adelmore #mc #quote”
“I assure you that just because your husband picked the bag that said “ho ho ho” he meant nothing towards you Mary”

  • The more of these is see :)))))) The more i think of double chins. You arent smiling any bigger, you are just adding more chins

Well, do you feel as good as I do about getting all that out there? 🙂