When I thought the world was ending (an oldie but a goodie)

I am exhausted. Too exhausted to have enough thoughts to make a real post. So I cheated and pulled an old one from the archives. 🙂 i apparently was covering my bases in preparation of the world ending.

Here ya go.
If that’s true for 2012……

Then I better get busy blogging. JUST IN CASE the aliens that take over want some reading material to see what us humans have been up too!

In all seriousness, I can’t possibly believe this year is the end so I for one will continue with life as usual. But that’s neither here nor there and establishing an opinion on the matter is not a requirement for reading or following this blogging madness.

Just as a little insight, here’s how my blogging works. I randomly think of things. Then I log them in the notebook portion of my iphone. When I have time, I go back through all the notes I have made and log them for all the world to see. Sometimes, I wonder what on earth I was talking about, but nevertheless, they get recorded and reported. With all that said, these are in no particular order.

– I apparently took notes during a speech or sermon or something but came across this and found it useful to share.

  • Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers. Someone needs you to show kindness to them more than you need it shown to you. Just be kind. (hmmm, well that is a slap in the “it’s not all about you face” now isn’t it)

Quote of the day: It will never rain roses. When we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses. George Eliot

Song of the day: Eric Hutchinson, Rock and Roll. Particularly I like the part where he says “If she wanna stay she stays. If she wanna go she goes”. Can you say theme song?

Family Time: You know you’re from the country or have a redneck family when they gather and one of the first questions is “How many deer did you see on the way over here?”…..yeah, that happens almost every single time we gather somewhere. And all I think is that I did good to drive at all, much less count deer.

Things I forgot: I recently posted my 2011 year in review. And I almost forgot one of the most scandalous things about my year……ok, it totally wasn’t scandalous but it was mysterious….or as mysterious as you can get for my life. I randomly reconnected with some “old guy” that I had always had a crush on my whole entire life. And you know what happened in that night? We talked a ton. And it was some of the best conversation I had all year. But you know what else….I realized he is eternally screwed up. Just goes to show that everything is not what it seems.

– And to that point…..in the last 6months I have tried to be increasingly more earnest in asking for others thoughts and opinions before acting. I truly value MOST people’s outlook and opinion. And based on the fact that I’m a huge “act before I think” kinda gal, this new tactic has proven extremely beneficial. Clearly I left out other’s opinions in visiting with old dude…..and now that I think about it, this paragraph has nothing to do with the above. Anyway, moving on.

History lesson: this last week, I reconnected with a prom date from when I was in 9th grade on Facebook. He went to a different school and it was his SR prom. I think (looking back of course), he genuinely liked me. Unfortunately, I was too much of a brat to appreciate this. (the fact of whether he really liked me or not is really up for interpretation I guess, but for story telling purposes, he did, madly in love as a matter of fact…because this only turns out lame for me so I need all the fairy tale I can get out of it) ANYWAY…..I wouldn’t say the prom night went “bad” but it was rather uneventful from what I remember. And I guess he was completely over me because he mailed me a copy of the pics. Yep, that’s right, in the mail (this was back before USPS was uncool kids). Later, everyone tried to tell me how smart he was, etc. But noooooooooo, I was busy with other things and never took the time to really know him. Well, he graduated from Harvard, went into the military and basically became a hero, is now in politics and I’m pretty sure has probably never failed at anything he’s ever tried. He also doesn’t have braces or acne, and seems to be maybe one of the most sincerely nicest guys I might sort of know. I’m sure you can tell where the moral of this story is going. Oh well, we all know I wouldn’t last 5 minutes as a politicians wife right? The most I can hope for is that he has moved past my brattiness and that we can become friends.

Recently in the news: A local Target store allowed an “in store protest” or “awareness” if you will of breast feeding in public. They had a table set up in the front of the store with women breast feeding their children right there in front of God and everybody (as my momma would say). I almost feel like commenting on this further is pointless because you should all know how I feel. But, in case the person reading this is new to Alicialand, let me just say “REALLY???????”…..FOR THE LOVE! Cover it up ladies. Yes, it’s the best thing you can do for your kid. It’s the most awesome bond between a mom and child. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with being discreet about it. Plan your trip to Target around the kid’s feeding schedule….get a room, something, anything. I’m pretty sure if I walked around with my boob hanging out and a sequined tassel attached to it (I have no kids to feed) in an effort to express my bond with myself, that you all would be offended. Common sense, respect…..get some. GEEZ!

About me: Insulting my intelligence is never a good idea or approach to dealing with me. Ever. I give you more than enough opportunity to make fun of me on a regular basis. You are free to use that how you need to. But insulting my intelligence is just asking for a game of leap frog with a unicorn. Clearly I’m referencing a recent incident but I felt like it would also be a good time to educate the rest of America.

– You wanna get me worked up in 0.2 seconds? Sit a shallow guy in front of me talking about how he’s not interested because of fat. That’ll do it every time. And no matter how far I’ve come in the self control department, I will never be able to keep my mouth shut. I can report that after a brief conversation about it, I’m pretty sure he and I will not be friends. He will also not be invited to Aliciapalooza 2012.

Pop Quiz: Do you tell a complete stranger that is obviously trying to play mr cool guy that his button fly is unzipped? I was so torn….he was really serious about being a bada$$.

Dating: When girlfriends say “if he’s really interested, he’ll make time to spend with you”, I have always resorted to excuses, justifications, defenses, etc. I’ve never let myself believe that was true because whomever I was with at the time had a perfectly good reason for not spending time with me. The older I get, the more I’m learning that it’s true. It’s just sad that I’m having to learn it by being an example of it.

– I would also like to give a shout out to the movie industry for making me believe that boys fix what’s wrong and that it all works out in the end with happily ever after. Lame movie people. Very lame.

Lame: As if the Delilah radio show isn’t bad enough. Delilah playing in the hotel lobby while you’re waiting on a friend is worse. You can’t escape that. Since I was forced to listen, I will share the following story. A man calls in talking about a previous broken heart. He’s all healed now and wants her to pick a song for him. She picks….wait for it….Walking in a Winter Wonderland. Really? I may be somewhat single and not good at dating, but thank goodness this chick isn’t in charge of my love playlist.

Logistically speaking: I find it very interesting that literally almost all of the apartments in my particular building are empty, yet every flippin parking space is taken and I have to park at another building. I’m pretty sure this isn’t rocket science.

Let’s have some inspiration: Hope is more than a word – it’s a state of being. It’s a firm belief that even if you don’t know how, even if you don’t know when, God will come through, and BETTER DAYS ARE AHEAD. Life brings rain…hope dances in the puddles until the sun comes out again. (from a great little devotional)

All things random: I think about the number 57 and 762 all the time. It makes no sense. I’m sure there is some deep rooted issue…feel free to analyze. I’m open.

– In reading through my notes, 67 days ago, it says I posted “today is the day we stop the bleeding, Go Rangers” . And 67 days later, I’m still sad we lost. Boo.

– The iphone should’ve never given me the update to see if people on ichat are replying to my texts. Anyone who knows me for more than five minutes knows that I hate being ignored. Now I’m just going to watch for dotted bubbles of friends typing responses all dang day.

– If you don’t like the show Big Bang Theory, you are simply certifiable. It’s better than any reality show out there. And any show that gives Blossom a second chance has to be good right?

– A while back on a dating website (and I mean a while back, but keep in mind, I got notes to go through) a guy popped up and his thumbnail picture was him in head gear. I get excited thinking I’ve got a pilot on my hands……Nope. A gamer. Fail. That is not a good pic to use on a dating website pumpkin. You are trying to convince girls you have a life and want to include them in it. Not that you lock yourself in a room and play video games.

– Some people’s self-righteousness gets on my nerves. And using Facebook as an outlet is lame. You’re crazy, manipulative and if you don’t like somebody, then you’re whole cult following doesn’t like them. Rude. And lame.

– Don’t like Facebook? Don’t use it. Simple. Things change, especially in technology. So when updates are made, refrain from griping. Invent something better if you don’t like it or go away.

– Why can’t I sleep all night without peeing anymore?

Therapy Session: I saw someone out and about recently who HATES me. Not even kidding. And I honestly have no idea why. I mean, usually I at least have an idea. Not with this person. It brought back memories of the time she told someone else I was a complete troll. I actually used to “wanna be this girl”. She is hilarious and seems to be popular. But to call someone that without a valid reason or to hate someone unbeknownst to them is completely beyond me. It still makes me sick to think of the moment I heard her call me that. It bothers me even more that she goes on with life of everyone thinking how great she is. But, that doesn’t for one second mean that I’m not great too. And do I really want to be a part of that kind of crowd that acts like that towards people? Absolutely not. Am I perfect? Nope. But do I call people trolls for no reason or without even having enough balls to even tell me why you don’t like me? Nope.

And that should be enough to get us started for 2012. Happy World Ending Year folks!

The maxi pad and the doggy diaper (another oldie but goodie)

I know!  I cheated again!  BUT, I was worried with a busy weekend and the potential of being gone to my niece’s state ball tournament and getting caught up in that excitement that I would fail to post 🙂 Cause, it’s not hard to distract me ya know!  Anyway, sure do miss this dog and laugh every time I remember this story.  Poor dog to have to put up with such a scattered human!

4/2010

Well, leave it up to me to think I have come up with the most genius idea on the planet only for it to turn out a total disaster.

Tanker has had this “excited pee syndrome” (yes, it’s a real medical term even though I just made it up) ever since I’ve had him.  For some reason (I’m sure because I’m a horrible dog mommy), it has gotten a bit worse lately.  I’m trying to research and learn how to fix it but in the meantime, I purchased a doggy diaper.  I try to put it on him when I take him to other people’s houses out of respect for those people’s carpets.

It’s amazing how a creature that weighs barely 9 pounds, drinks water strictly twice per day, can pee this much.  He pees when someone first pets him, he pees when he gets rubbed on the belly, he pees when I first get home and am trying to let him out.  It’s amazing.  Sometimes he even pees so much when I take him out, he falls because he has hiked his leg for so long.

The doggy diaper is a denim type material and is washable.  Plus number one, it’s washable.  You buy separate inserts that are essentially panty liners, place those in the diaper, and place on your dog.  Spontaneous pee is instantly less of a problem.

I haven’t had the diaper in my possession due to leaving it at a friends house and just got it back today.  I did not realize however that I am out of the liners that go in the diaper.  Petsmart is the only place I have been able to get these and they are closed for the night.

SO………insert genius plan here.  Since I am a woman and have been blessed with the gift of a visit from Mother Nature once per month….I have enough femine product to make a padded mattress!  So, why not just use one of my maxi pads as a liner in his diaper?

Well, I’ll tell you why.  Because my “overnight”, Always brand, double thick, extra-thick winged maxi pads take up the whole diaper and when wrapped around LITTLE Tanker, hilarity ensues.  I have zero idea how this happened but his back legs were automatically sprawled out  so far apart that he couldn’t walk unless he literally hopped on his front legs and swung his butt around from side to side.  I couldn’t recreate it if I tried.  I would’ve loved to have videod it or to have taken pictures but I’m pretty sure the animal curelty peeps would be at my door quickly.  Tanker is looking at me like I’ve completely lost my mind and that he would probably attack me if it wasn’t so much trouble to drag the maxi pad with him.

Oh well, it will have to do for now.  I put him in his bed hoping that he’ll be ok.  Until……I hear this horrible comotion going on in his cage.  I promptly go to his aide to find him without the diaper on, and his feet stuck to the sticky part of the pad.  I swear he looked like a yorkie on a padded white surf board.  As horrible as I felt about putting him through it, I have to admit that I almost peed myself!!!!  He of course does not find this amusing.

I finally get it off of him and decide that for tonight, the diaper will have to go and I’ll have to deal with any spontaneous pee.  Poor, poor Tanker!  No wonder I don’t have children of my own!

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