I have been a pretty tough and optimistic cookie lately. You know the old “power through, I am tough, it could be worse” method…I have even kept my mouth relatively shut vs confrontation (shocking, I know). But, when I just pulled into my parking lot after a long week already, I discovered my eggs, that I just bought, were broken. I needed them to make a dish for someone who had surgery. I was trying to do good. Yet, here I sit. The eggs did it. They sent me over the edge. I don’t even want to walk up the stairs to my apartment. So here I sit, in my car. Turning my music up, taking a deep breath and writing 5 good things that happened today and 5 things I am thankful for, on a crumpled napkin. Oh, and writing this terribly formatted blog while it’s fresh on my mind.
I refuse to cave into misery from an undesirable day (or couple of weeks for that matter). I just can’t. I am too tired to do that anymore. I am only interested in forward movement, solutions and goodness as end results. I can’t do what I used to in going inside, eating something terrible and zombie-ing out on the couch, pouting about how bad things suck.
I’m not typing to be a guru, inspirational, cheesy or declare that I am on a higher platform than another (because if bad food and wine and tv is what you need after a terrible day, then you do you, boo). I’m not publishing it for the secret stalkers to interpret as “Alicia is so negative” or “oh look, Alicia is falling apart and can’t handle rough times” or “Alicia is being dramatic”.
I’m typing it out loud because I need to read it for myself. And I know that there is someone out there who might need to read it too. And if there are a hundred bad things about me, there is at least one good thing in that I have usually been decent with words. I’m typing it to be transparent in the fact that I have a ton of good days and stories and outfits to share, but I am also human (despite my capes and glitter accessories).
It’s ok to have a bad day. It’s ok to say or type it out loud. It’s ok to cry over cracked eggs. But now that this song I was blaring is over and my car did the auto shut-off (and I am realizing its freezing with no jacket)…..it’s time for me to move along. And you can bet I am. I actually needed this to force me into other action in an effort to do something about current situations.
You can acknowledge the bad out loud and you can even feel it however you need to. You just can’t stay there.
Here’s to cracked eggs and hoping my recipe tastes good with wine as a substitute 😝😝😝😝😝. I already feel better!!!