I have been a pretty tough and optimistic cookie lately. You know the old “power through, I am tough, it could be worse” method…I have even kept my mouth relatively shut vs confrontation (shocking, I know). But, when I just pulled into my parking lot after a long week already, I discovered my eggs, that I just bought, were broken. I needed them to make a dish for someone who had surgery. I was trying to do good. Yet, here I sit. The eggs did it. They sent me over the edge. I don’t even want to walk up the stairs to my apartment. So here I sit, in my car. Turning my music up, taking a deep breath and writing 5 good things that happened today and 5 things I am thankful for, on a crumpled napkin. Oh, and writing this terribly formatted blog while it’s fresh on my mind.
I refuse to cave into misery from an undesirable day (or couple of weeks for that matter). I just can’t. I am too tired to do that anymore. I am only interested in forward movement, solutions and goodness as end results. I can’t do what I used to in going inside, eating something terrible and zombie-ing out on the couch, pouting about how bad things suck.
I’m not typing to be a guru, inspirational, cheesy or declare that I am on a higher platform than another (because if bad food and wine and tv is what you need after a terrible day, then you do you, boo). I’m not publishing it for the secret stalkers to interpret as “Alicia is so negative” or “oh look, Alicia is falling apart and can’t handle rough times” or “Alicia is being dramatic”.
I’m typing it out loud because I need to read it for myself. And I know that there is someone out there who might need to read it too. And if there are a hundred bad things about me, there is at least one good thing in that I have usually been decent with words. I’m typing it to be transparent in the fact that I have a ton of good days and stories and outfits to share, but I am also human (despite my capes and glitter accessories).
It’s ok to have a bad day. It’s ok to say or type it out loud. It’s ok to cry over cracked eggs. But now that this song I was blaring is over and my car did the auto shut-off (and I am realizing its freezing with no jacket)…..it’s time for me to move along. And you can bet I am. I actually needed this to force me into other action in an effort to do something about current situations.
You can acknowledge the bad out loud and you can even feel it however you need to. You just can’t stay there.
Here’s to cracked eggs and hoping my recipe tastes good with wine as a substitute 😝😝😝😝😝. I already feel better!!!
Yep. I typed it. Out loud. And I will give you all a few minutes to delete me out of fury before we move on to other sentences.
I’ll start by saying that I fully recognize some REALLY crappy things happened on 2016. Good people died. Politics made us rethink what the living heck is actually happening here. Personally, I went through another set of “I really like him” moments, only to be disappointed. I found myself in other situations I never thought I would be in and I watched my gran die.
But, it wasn’t the worst year ever. It wasn’t worse than the year(s) millions of Jews were sent to their demise. It wasn’t the year that we lost 4,000 people from planes crashing into buildings. Once again, not discounting terrible things that did happen this year (so don’t start typing your hate letters just yet).
I’m also not lessening other’s interpretations of “worst”, either. If you feel it, it’s valid. Whether I agree with it or not. All I am saying is that for the majority of us, it wasn’t the worst and here’s why…..
- If you’re reading this, you’re still breathing. And I don’t care how awful life may be for you, if you’re breathing, that means there is a chance for it to get better.
- If number one is applicable, and you really think it was the worst, then you are also in a position to affect change (and I’m pretty proud to say I have lots of friends out there who are forces to be reckoned with in this area). If my dad were here, he would give me about 5 minutes worth of a pity party (or maybe one gripe on social media) and then he would expect me to figure out what I’m going to do next to move from where I’m at. And sadly, I never realized how lucky I am to have had him be that way with me, til he was gone. If you’re passionate about some of the terrible things that went on this year, use that passion to do something (besides post online) to contribute to making that terrible thing a little bit better.
- No matter how terribly you took it that celebrities died or that the election didn’t go your way, there is someone out there who had it way worse than you (insert any Aleppo photo here). So if those two things were really the only awful things that happened to you (and I’m just as guilty as the next of jumping on some of those meme bandwagons – and I believe in the protection of Betty White) – then it still wasn’t the worst. And before you jump on the election tirade, please refer to number two.
- There is always still good. You just have to find it. And you have to want to seek it out more than you want to cave to the ease of jumping on the bad bandwagon. We all know how easy it is for viewpoints to be skewed or for only certain things to be placed in front of us via tv or social media…….so if that’s too much for you, make a conscious effort to seek out the good. I thought about making it even easier for you by placing some links here of “the good stuff” (start with the World Series documentary)….but that would defeat the whole challenge of you making yourself acknowledge good. And a little leg work never hurt any of us. I’ll gladly list my personal “good” from the year though, because I need to do my own reflecting of just how good I have it despite the world telling me that I don’t. How about we all get a little more purposeful in following, finding, happening upon good people and good things. Keep following the bad too, for all I care, but if you’re going to grow at all, challenge yourself to sprinkling in a few good finds and see if over time, that doesn’t chisel away some of that bitter 2016 chip on your shoulder. If you have no desire to do anything but wallow in the misery that you have chosen to associate with, then we have nothing further to discuss, really. 🙂
So. There it is. I said it. Since I’m used to not being the most popular for what I say, it probably won’t be a shock to me if this isn’t received well. But, it had to be said (or typed). I appreciate a sarcastic meme, joke or calling out of things just as much as the next social media junkie. I realize that some post in jest and truly don’t feel like this was the worst year ever. But, there are some of you out there that are truly paralyzed in the belief that this was it, it was the most terrible year ever. And we need you to get unparalyzed quick-like so that we can have more good! 🙂 If you truly have the belief, then I hope that you passionately commit to making sure your corner of 2017 is better than the last year.
I refuse to let 2017 be a year where my feed is filled with anger and hate and all the bad feels. I will gladly support and encourage (and make glittery signs of support) all of those who, even though they don’t agree with me, are using their anger to fuel a fire of making a difference and taking ACTION in any part of their lives. I’ll just be over here working on my own refinement in trying to be a better human, trying to smile more and listen more and trying to make sure that should I die tomorrow, that people know my heart only had love left. That last part alone is going to keep me busy enough that I shouldn’t have time to worry about whether Sally voted for Hillary or Trump and if that decision means I can have coffee with her.
Love and peace!
Oh, and here are my highlights from the year!
- Had the most perfect “faux daughter” in the form of a high school foreign exchange student (til she had to leave me in June)
- NEW YORK CITY for my birthday/spring break!!
- Spain!!!!!!!!!!!!! The most incredible trip of my life! Plus, I survived a near plane crash :p
- DOLLY PARTON concert!!!! And friends who embrace my obsession for her!
- New friends that come with neon signs of “we were meant to cross paths so that you’ll see that you need to cut that other part of your life loose”
- Growth in my career (and getting the best boss ever) – despite saying “orgasmic” in a meeting with the president of our company :p
- Standing up to someone and seeing their true colors in a situation where, even though I might not be right, I didn’t allow their words to send me backwards. I still hope to visit her in her glass house someday, but I’m also pretty proud to see personal growth (this one isn’t as glamorous for you to read as it is for me to look back on – and that’s ok).
- Seeing my mom find true happiness and blossom into the most happy person I have seen in a long time.
- Best World Series ever! (even if you didn’t like either team) This event alone should’ve brought you a little glimmer of hope and made you happy about life, for at least the week that it was happening!
- Countless work travel. Even though it was a lot of time away from home and in hotels (which oddly enough is really the only true gym time I “enjoyed” over the year), It took me out of my comfort zone and afforded me meeting some pretty cool new people, with some pretty neato stories and lives!
- One of my very best friends moving back and settling “back home” – her open home, open arms, open ears and adventures with her cool kiddos have been the best therapy for me this year!
- Learning that cultivating and figuring out who my “core people” are is one of the best exercises I’ve done in a while. I’m truly loved by people and for the first time in my life I really believe that. I shutter at the thought of how many years were spent believing in every fiber of me, that nobody truly loved me. My happy and my smile are sacred and genuine these days! I have some pretty awesome people to thank for that!