Planning My Funeral

Before I even start this post, I need you to understand that I am sometimes (ok, always) random and a tiny bit weird.  I often wonder if some of the things that go on in my head also go on in other people’s heads.  I am convincing myself that they do and I am relying on those people showing up to read this blog.  The rest of you, well, you were warned. 🙂

DSCN0215When I saw this dress online a while back, I was completely drawn to it for two reasons.  One, I love the style of being a bit 50’s-ish.  Secondly, funerals.  Whether you want to admit it or not, or whether you think I’m a total loon, every girl needs a funeral dress.  Obviously, this dress is fabulous enough to work for tons of other functions, but I primarily bought it for funerals.  Clearly, I don’t sit around anticipating another’s death.  I also don’t mean for it to seem as if I treat a funeral like a fashion show.  

I do, however, feel like it’s important to look classy and a bit reserved for such an occasion (it’s really the only occasion I believe this for, by the way).  You cannot go wrong with pearls (even if they are fake) and a black dress.  When I came across this dress I realized that I didn’t have a dress that fit my “funeral belief system” and when I discovered that I could snag this for $20, I jumped right on it.  Now, all I need is for someone to die.  JUST KIDDING!!!!!  I just knew that once I coupled this with my pearls and black heels, that I was definitely going to win any Audrey Hepburn costume contests!

DSCN0216Once the dress arrived, I tried it on and realized it was THE PERFECT funeral dress for any funeral……..except mine.  I started thinking about how I would make my funeral different from most (because I always want to be different and MAYBE I have a few control issues – even in my own death).  I can respect a classy funeral, after all, I just bought a dress for that exact event.  But, I need funeral fun.  So, in the event of my untimely death, I am publishing my funeral wishes for all of the interwebs to see……..and maybe to also make sure enough people see it so that my mom feels obligated to carry it out versus putting me in a button up cardigan and pearls! 🙂 Weird?  Probably so.  Cares?  Zero.  

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Unless you’re an ex that broke up with me and realized how incredibly stupid that decision was and now it’s too late to do anything about it.


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Enough Said

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I’m pretty sure that the fact that my chest will be stiff should be taken advantage of.  Gravity has taken over my boobs these days, so death may cause them to be stiff enough to go back where they were in my twenties and I don’t want to waste it.

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Bold red lipstick though, not “I just crawled out of my pimp’s car to go to a job” red. 

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I don’t want someone up there talking about anything boring.  I just want people to tell funny stories.  Let me know if you need me to draft a script for everyone.

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This one is the most important.  It would be great if P!nk is still alive to just have her come do a few tunes.  If she’s not, anything upbeat that makes you wanna do a Rocky Balboa, stair type run will do.  It won’t even hurt my dead feelings if everyone breaks out into spontaneous dance.  If you REALLY loved me, you would all burst out into Don’t Stop Believin mid-funeral.

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Everyone at my funeral should be dressed in something bold and fun.  I don’t need it looking like a circus freak show….but getting out of your comfort zone is the least you can do for my death wish, right?

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Preferably in inflatable form, will do in lieu of flowers.  If there are flowers, leave the carnations out of it.  I don’t know why they got the dirty job of being the funeral flower, but they are not for me.

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First, I want a casket that you can write on.  Have colorful sharpies available and leave me a good love note.  I’ll know if you skip that part in the line and I will haunt you forever. 🙂 I kid!  Next, it needs to include lights.  Fun lights on the outside (that could potentially move to the music) and good, Hollywood type lighting around my face that accentuates my red lipstick and long eyelashes.  Forgot to mention that before.  The eyelashes need to be long.  I won’t hate you if you pick ones from the Halloween costume aisle that have a little sparkle to them.

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Cover my grave in glitter.  Unless you’re my friend James.  He hates glitter, so he gets a pass.  The disco balls are for tombstone decorations, mostly because in all my years in advertising, nobody has let me incorporate it into any of my campaigns.  Actually, anyone who can pull off a real, spinning disco ball as my tombstone will get extra points.  I’ll be sure to put in a good word for you with the big man once I meet him. 

 

I think that gets us started.  I feel like if you all start with this list, the creative juices will continue to flow and my funeral will be an epic blowout.  

I think we can safely say that I feel comfortable with you people to share my weirdness so openly with.  Don’t leave me hanging!  Share one fun thing you would do at your funeral and reassure me that I’m at least a lovable weirdo! 🙂 

Happy Wednesday!

Outfit details:

Dress (completely customizable): Eshakti

Necklace: Sam Moon

Shoes: Nine West

Hiding in my closet

What do you do when it’s officially fall but not officially the cool fall weather you need to break out the heavy stuff? You wear this amazing dress…..

This gem has been hiding in my closet too long! Actually, if I am being honest, I want to hide in my closet today too! Since I am an adult who has silly responsibilities such as bills and a faux child, hiding is not an option for me today. (Wah wah wah…..)  
What do you do when you are tired, overwhelmed, dealing with a disease that is currently kicking your butt and just don’t feel good? You put this amazing dress on. You also:

  • Take a deep breath
  • Tell yourself that you are allowed to not be perfect
  • Give yourself permission to retreat
  • Be as kind as possible with society and just be as quiet as you can
  • Rest
  • Be honest with those around you – not mean – just honest. It’s ok to say “I’m not ok today”
  • Tap into those encouragers and supporters around you
  • Push through the day with the promise of a long, hot bath when you get home

Here’s to a great Tuesday with a great dress that fools me into feeling fabulous!!

P.S. I love the hint of yellow in this dress and the fab glasses! 

  

The Only Time Floppy is a Good Thing….

Is when it is in reference to a floppy hat or floppy disk. 

IMG_4999I wasn’t aware I even had a love for either until my exchange student demanded that this hat come home with us a while back (isn’t it a fantastic hat…..and I’m completely swooning over the layers of necklaces).  The other floppy love isn’t as much about the floppy disk as it is the times when they were popular.  Ok, maybe they were never popular.  We just didn’t have any other choices.  But, the times that the floppy disk lived in, well, they just seemed simpler.  I think we all go through spurts of longing for simpler, don’t we?  I actually associate floppy disks with my dad.  He was a computer teacher at the time and we had what seemed like a gazillion of them laying around.  See, I’m already going back to simpler memories.  My dad seemed to make everything simple.  

Life is busy.  We are moving so fast towards whatever, that we lack the ability to be simple.  Sometimes that leads to a state of just “blah”……know what I’m sayin?  I am a prime example of this in so many ways that I have lost count.  When I get to going too fast, if I’m being cheesy, life just gets a bit floppy.  The difference in me now is, that I try to be very aware.  I try to slow down every once and a while and examine where I am allowing too much floppy and work towards improvement. I quit beating myself up a long time ago for getting to a state of floppy.  Forgiving yourself is important.  I just try to note it, stop it at the first acknowledgement, and move forward.  What do you do?

Here are where floppy isn’t good for me……Can anyone relate?  

  1.  Floppy Friends – It’s taken me a really long time to be ok with not feeling obligated to keep friends around that aren’t good for me.  Nobody has to be a jerk about it but I simply cannot allow friendships that are a flop to continue.
  2. Floppy Boys – I have no idea when it happened or what switch was flipped, but it has been really cool to try the approach of actually being direct and intentional about my dating life.  Sure, it has cut a lot of guys out of the mix, but that’s more than ok.  I cannot allow myself to give parts of my heart away to someone who gives me floppy effort (or no effort at all).  I was SO SCARED to take this new approach for myself, but so far, I am pretty pleased with how it’s going. 
  3. Floppy Habits – they gotta stop.  They just do.  It is more important than ever, with my recent diagnosis, that I make good choices.  If it doesn’t work for the good of my health, or the good of my life goals, it absolutely cannot become a habit in my life.  I accept this as a constant work in progress for me! I know that if there is one crack in my life, floppy will creep in and take over before I turn around.  Obviously, I am not 100% every day, but having a good army to stand guard helps!

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I’m thinking I need to track down a few old floppy disks and keep them handy as a reminder that I can’t let anything but my cool hat get too floppy! 

Let’s have a great week.  Want to?

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Casually Sequined

When is it ok to wear sequins to work?

Answer:  It is always ok to wear sequins to work.
One of my fav go to casual outfits.  Covered in feathers today and my hair is cooperating.  It’s gonna be a fantastic Friday for sure! Great tops, fabulous old-school clock necklace and awesome chunky bracelet.
Oh, and a selfie with my dog, because, duh….🐾❤️
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I’m feeling extra casual and random today but this outfit makes me feel like I put way more effort into being cute than I did.  It’s ok to say out loud that you’re cute, ya know.  You can do that and you can mean it.  If you don’t feel like you can, just put some sequins on your body and you will magically be transformed into a sassy, confident individual! 🙂
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Here are my top five random thoughts about sequins and other things today:
1.  Sequins are better than boys today.  It’s the first couple of days in a long time that I haven’t thought about my last heart break.  I am moving along from it in way healthier ways than ever before (because, unfortunately, this is the 3rd heart break from the same person).  The way I felt when I put this sequined top on (and the one I wore a few days ago) is honestly better than any guy has made me feel in ages.
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2.  Why do we not feel worthy of wearing something sparkly in every day life?  We should.  Because maybe some extra sparkle is just what this crazy world needs right now.
3.  I hope the people who put sequins on clothes are happy people.  I like to think they are working somewhere that is full of rainbows and unicorns and happy music is playing while they apply them.
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4.  If someone doesn’t appreciate a little sparkle from you (no matter what form you bring it in – sequined clothes or otherwise), then you don’t need them in your life.  And this sweet life is too short to let those people linger.
5.  If you aren’t leaving people in a better condition than when you came across them, then you aren’t doing life right.  So, get to it!
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Loving a Big Girl Q&A

Have you ever wondered if you can you love a bigger girl, guys? The answer is yes. Today, on top of a great Shopping In My Closet outfit, I bring you a little Q&A that might help bring a little clarity. Hope this helps! Be sure that you share this with friends. You too big girls. The world needs awareness and answers to these important questions 😝

  

1. Will loving a big girl kill me?

 Answer: No. You won’t die. However it should be noted that a girl of any size could make you wish you were dead if you cross her. 

2. Should I hide my food when I first date a bigger girl? 

Answer: No. We do not want your food. We are perfectly capable of getting our own. You should, however, hide your food if you are a grown man that lives off of Cosmic Brownies in a box and Mountain Dew. 

3. Should I tell my big girl that she is big? Even if it is out of love? 

Answer: No. Do not insult her intelligence. Unless she is blind, doesn’t have a mirror, or has never passed by a window, this subject should never be addressed by you. You think she doesn’t know she is big. What would be big would be the size of the mistake you make by thinking you are holy enough to bring this to her attention. Refer to number one’s ending statement. 

4. Will a big girl crush me while we are making love? 

Answer: Well, first let me ask you some questions. Do you weigh less than 50 pounds? Are you Channing Tatum? I think you need to worry less about her crushing you and more about how you can make her wish she never had to leave the bedroom. 

5. Will a big girl increase my grocery bill if we become serious enough to grocery shop together? 

Answer: Yes. Because most likely she will require you to purchase more than those Cosmic Brownies and Mountain Dew. 

  
6. What if I really start to fall in love with a big girl? 

Answer: Well, then don’t screw it up. 

7. Will washing my big girl’s clothes require more laundry detergent

Answer: Nope. Not anymore than your crap-stained underwear might. 

8. What if my friends make fun of me for dating a big girl?

Answer: Two things: first, make 100% certain that you are equivalent to Channing Tatum so that your judging the hotness of the girl you are dating is completely justified. Next, break up with your girl immediately. Because surrounding yourself with friends like that CLEARLY indicates that you do not deserve the love of a big girl to begin with. Lastly, gather yourself and your friends and find the nearest cliff and have a jumping off of it party. 

9. How can I get my big girl to lose a few pounds for me? I really like her, but she would be even prettier if she could just drop a few pounds. You know, for her health. 

Answer: you can’t. What you can do is take your tiny little brain and find a mirror. Stand in front of the mirror and repeat after me…”It’s not about me. It’s not my journey. I should work on not being the biggest tool on the planet.”

10. Are all big girls as funny and cool as you, Alicia? Do they look as good shopping out of their closet and sporting this cool faux leather jacket as you?

Answer: sadly, no. Probably not. I’m kidding. There are tons of us out there!! The coolness over floweth!!

  

Do It Anyway!

I love writing. I love shopping in my closet. Lately I have been doing more of both than usual and I cannot tell you what it does for my soul. Writing really is great therapy. Shopping in my closet really is helpful on the pocketbook.   

I am far from being a disciplined person. I am the poster child for falling off wagons. I have no idea why I stop doing things that are so good for me. But, I do. And I’m hoping someone else out there does too. Ok, maybe I shouldn’t hope that someone else falls off the wagon as much as I do. But, I do hope someone out there at least can understand what I am saying. 

Last week was a good week. I was full of routine, and words to type, and clothes to brag about. I was ahead in my writing. And then busyness came to visit. Hate it when he shows up! 🙂 Before I knew it, my weekend was gone and even faster than that, Monday night showed up. Scratch that. I am now sitting on Tuesday night with a VERY early Wednesday morning staring me in the face. 

I want to write something epic. I want to put together a beautiful collage of outfit goodness. But the truth is, I just don’t have it in me. I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed with life right now. And I am really angry at my newly diagnosed disease with medicine that makes me almost sick enough to call my momma. The worst part? None of that matters. It really doesn’t. Because I still have to function in society as a productive human. The faux kid has to be fed. The work has to be done. The dog has to be walked. The laundry has to be tended to. The list goes on. 

Can we be even more honest with each other for a second? The last thing I want to think about or hear is “it could be worse.” Or “Too blessed to be stressed.” 

Yeah, I said it. Now what? Well, I’ll tell you?

1. I don’t have to be Positive Polly. I don’t have to try and inspire or pretend like I’m just dandy. What I do have to do to stay mentally healthy is own my emotion. I have to, but that doesn’t mean that others have to own my emotions as well. Being truthful with yourself about how you feel is not a bad thing. Negatively affecting others is. 

2. Being all the things I listed above are ok. Letting them move in and dwell is not. Thank them for stopping by, but push them on their way down the road. 

3. Do it anyway. Oh how I hated when my dad would say that. But he is right. Had I kept from writing tonight, the “blah” would’ve won and set me a few steps back. I am trying every single day lately to do things that move me forward. I wrote anyway. I promised myself one paragraph and the outfit pic was the least I could do. Now, look where we are! Lots of words later! 

4. DON’T BE MEAN! To others for sure, but ESPECIALLY not to yourself. 
I already feel better! Don’t you? I came across some oldies outfit pics that I never posted, so I am sharing those today. Some of my favs!

  
Peace, love and good outfit vibes! 

Fat Girls Shouldn’t Wear Polka Dots……(and other ridiculous things we convince ourselves of)

Look, I’ll be honest.  The smallest thing on my body are the holes in my ears for earrings.  That is a cold truth.

I’m not advocating that you accept me wearing a thong bikini on the beaches of Brazil.  I wouldn’t wish that upon anybody…..

I am, however giving myself permission to stop convincing myself that I can’t wear something because someone said so.  

Insert cute polka dot scarf here.  

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it’s only the beginning.  I started with polka dots around my neck and now I feel like every polka dot outfit I come across in the stores is begging me to try it on.  I caved and tried on one dress and folks, it took my breath away.  Not because it was scary, but because I actually don’t look like I am carrying octuplets with it on. Can we all agree that even though it’s not typical, this maroon and coral combo is legit?  Especially these shoes that I forgot I had!

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My whole life has been a ridiculous web of lies convincing me that I can’t do something.  And it’s all solely based on someone else saying that I shouldn’t.  It doesn’t always get said directly to me (I mean, I have never received a direct call from Gucci, but…..) and it doesn’t always get put so bluntly.  But it happens.  And ultimately, it’s my own fault for letting any part of me believe them for even one second!

Here are some of the ridiculous things I have let myself be convinced of.  I am curious to hear some of yours!  

  1.  You can’t wear skirts because your legs are too thick.
  2. You can’t write that book because you don’t have time and you’re really not that good.  Nobody will even buy it because you can’t have a best seller without a big publisher.
  3. You can’t wear that furry vest because it just makes you look like a sheep dog (that’s a good blog “a-comin”).
  4. You won’t ever save money because you were never taught money management. 
  5. You can’t go sleeveless because some kid might innocently get caught in the crossfire of an arm swing and die.
  6. You have to keep your hair longer so people don’t concentrate as much on your round face.
  7. You will only ever have an average love that you will have to just settle for because the real big love isn’t for girls like you.
  8. You will never get to speak in front of people and do the type of public speaking you want because only skinny girls do that.
  9. Nobody will listen to your story or learn from your journey.  You aren’t liked enough to have people help spread your message.
  10. You just need to accept that you will always be average.

Doesn’t that just make you mad and sick and a host of other things reading it?  Simply ridiculous!  So glad that even though those thoughts still creep in from time to time, I stand on an AWESOME promise that I AM ABSOLUTELY meant for great things and I ABSOLUTELY will do them!

Hugs!

Pete and Repeat – The Boys That Won’t Go Away

Hooray for a new week!  Some of my favorite outfits are up on deck this week to show you from shopping in my closet as well as some of my favorite stories and life lessons to go with them!  You’re going to see lots of repeats this week.  That was what made putting these together so fun, that I had so many pieces that worked with so many different things!!! 

In the theme of repeats, I figured we might as well talk about repeat boys.  Before your mind starts wondering to places it shouldn’t in reference to repeats (especially you people from my home town that know what a stupid teenager I was), let me clarify.  I mean those repeat offenders that you keep letting back into your life when they have proven so often that they don’t deserve to be there.  You know, the ones that you just can’t seem to cut ties with?  Maybe you’re not always the one bringing them back in, but when they show up, you don’t object.  If repeat offenders were one of those punch cards that when you fill up you get free food, I would have been able to feed my whole family last week!  Was there an old flame haunting convention in town and I missed it?IMG_5086

I am going to try really hard to make this short and sweet when every typing bone in my body could get started and not stop until at least a few chapters were written on just this subject.  In my complete education from the School of Hard Knocks and extreme lack of education in the area of psychology and other “guru doctorness”……here are my reasons/revelations as to why the only repeats I want in my life moving forward are good outfits, good movies and good songs on loop!  Although the following is more of a “me preaching to me” session, I am guessing there is someone else that needs to read it too!

  1.  You only have one heart.  It’s so fragile.  And every time you choose to use it to invest love into someone, you give a little piece of it away (or in my case a big piece).  Whether you want to admit it or not, you literally carve out a piece of it for the person you are choosing to love.  With an organ so very fragile, shouldn’t we take extra care of it and be careful how we give it away?  Because, even though we can glue it back together, or give it some kind of repair when it breaks, it will still never be the same.  Rarely does the person who took that piece you gave them, ever give it back in the same condition it was given in.  If they didn’t handle it correctly the first time, why would we allow them to have another piece.  What happens when you have given so many pieces of your heart away that you have nothing left when the right person does come along?  
  2. You are giving them permission to not change.  So, you broke the ties once (or maybe they broke them for you).  You finally begin to heal and realize that you are moving on in a better direction and that there is new opportunity for you to grow from it (or at least I hope that is the case for you).  Now, for whatever reason, they come knocking on the door of your heart again.  Maybe you invited them back out of loneliness.  Maybe they are coming back out of their own loneliness.  Either way, they’re back and your choice on whether you let them back in or not sends a louder message than you know.  Of course there are the situations where one actually does change and things actually can be repaired.  Often, those are more the exception than the rule.  Remember, the ties were broken for a reason.  And more often than not, you allowing repeat back in sends the message of “You don’t really have to change, I’ll let you back in and my guard will eventually fall enough for you to start the old habits of mistreating me again.”  Be careful of the message it sends to your own heart as well.  You could very well be letting it know “hey heart, I know you were working really hard to repair and move on, but we are gonna go backwards for a bit.”  I am not proud to admit that some have gotten not just one repeat trip, but a few.  IMG_5091
  3. You are delaying your real prize!  When you combine one and two above, you get delay.  See, whether you see it or believe it now or not, there is that one purpose that ONLY YOU are supposed to be.  It wasn’t made for anyone else, so nobody else can receive it.  Same goes for that “one person for you”, if you will.  It’s perfectly ok that you take a rugged path to get there or that you take your time.  It’s even fine to have the hiccups of going through a few wrong people.  BUT, if you don’t move from them and you allow them back, you are only delaying the greatest happening of your life.  You just are.  Man, that hurts to type and swallow for me right now!  I will tell you that finally truly believing that I deserve what is supposed to be for me and believing that there really is something THAT GREAT coming, has made it much easier for me lately to “cut the cord” a lot quicker with repeat bad things in my life (whether it be relationships of any kind, food, unhealthy thoughts, etc).  I want to get to the good that I know is there waiting and I do not want any more delays that I bring upon myself!  Make sense?
  4. You are risking an avalanche.  When you allow the repeats and give just that tiny opening for the brokenness to come back in, it is almost inevitable that it will affect other things in your life as well.  In my situation, it just opens the flood gates for negativity and it usually starts with me attacking myself.  It’s not secret that I am already battling that daily as it is.  It took more restraint than you know not to make this post about all the horrible things I see in these pictures (huge legs, puffy wrists, seven chins, etc).  But, if I take a stand against not allowing repeat “bad heart treaters” in my life, then that includes repeat self-hate.

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As usual, I rattled way more than I intended to!  I hope that you get what I am saying and that you truly understand how precious you and that big ol’ heart of yours are!  Let’s end the repeat boys right there and get over to some good repeats, like this outfit! 🙂  This chami was purchased for less than a Sonic drink and goes with SO MANY things in my closet!  First up, is how it looks with this cardigan.  Don’t you just love a long cardigan?  I will have to have the same talk with myself as I do every year.  I will stand in the mirror and say “Alicia, you cannot wear a cardigan every single day this fall/winter.  You have to give the other great pieces in your closet some love too!”.  

Before you go, can we also just please take a minute to drool over these FABULOUS shoes and that great hat?  My exchange student insisted that I bring the hat into the wardrobe family and I am so glad she did!!  These shoes.  Well, these shoes are filling a hole that no man could fill anyway right now! :p 

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Dear Guy Who Said “I can’t date you because of your log legs”…..

You should see me now!

Ankles.  Can we talk about em for a sec?

I happen to hate mine.  I hate my legs in general, actually.  I remember a long time ago in high school an older lady told me what pretty legs I had.  I just wish I would have had enough brain cells as well.  Because if I did, I could’ve maybe realized how important it was to work hard and develop a lifestyle of healthiness and not have the “log legs” I do now.  Log legs.  Isn’t that a terrible phrase?  It’s exactly the phrase that a guy used for a reason he couldn’t date me past the first date.
I remember that date like it was yesterday.  He was a lawyer from Tulsa.  He drove to meet me and we had a lovely dinner at a great local restaurant.  It was the first time I had really dressed up for a date.  I wore the cutest “little black dress” and heels. I felt so pretty.  Our convo at dinner was a great, stimulating combination of quick wit and total sarcasm (my favorite).  He wasn’t someone I would’ve thought that I would’ve liked, but I did.  Then, as we are walking to the car after dinner, he says “I just got an email from work.  Looks like I am gonna have to go.”.  Huh?  When did he even check his phone?  I never left the table and never saw him on his phone.  And when did lawyers get urgent emails on a Saturday night at 10pm and have to jet out of the parking lot like a race car driver?  Whatever, dude.  Clearly we weren’t going to be going out again.  He could’ve just disappeared into the moonlight.  But he didn’t.  He sent a text the next day saying that he was sorry, but he didn’t think we were a match and he just couldn’t date someone with log legs.
Took me a long time to get past that one. Obviously, I am still hanging on to it a bit because I am still talking about it.  I even catch myself wondering what he would think now.  I’m way bigger than I was 7 years ago when he last saw me.  What word would he use to describe something bigger and stumpier than logs?  I think if I saw him today, I wouldn’t even say the snarky things that normally cross my mind.  I think I would just look at him and smile and think to myself “You silly little man.  I hate that you are missing out on who I have become.  But then again, you and your overly hairy arms and Tommy Bahama shirts don’t deserve to see who I have become”.
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That story is all I thought about as I loaded the pics of this outfit.  Add in my discomfort in tucking in my shirt and exposing my untamed stomach to you and the you get Alicia ascending into self-hate at a rapid pace!  Shame on me for giving it that much energy.  As with any other bad thoughts, self-hate, or worry that start to creep in, I play the truth game.  Luckily, playing it with this saved the day!
Truths:
  1.  This outfit is awesome.  Possibly my new favorite outfit.
  2. I do have large legs.  They hold me up.
  3. I do have large ankles.  They also keep me upright (most of the time)
  4. I look great in this outfit
  5. I need big limbs to carry around big awesomeness
  6. So what that I tucked my shirt in.  People do it all the time.  You can too, Alicia!
So I made a deal with my legs/ankles.  You guys keep carrying me around, and I’ll keep working to lighten your load.  And I will never bring around a guy who talks to you like that ever again!
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