The Chemical Life

 

Well.  It has happened.  I have entered the world of chemicals.  I always thought I would not ever need them or that I would just embrace aging and accept that things change as you get older.  That’s what I thought until I met gravity.  And age.  Now, all bets are off.  The only thing standing in my way of tummy tucks, botox, and a boob lift is the fact that I am poor and that as far as I know there are no single plastic surgeons around here for me to date.
I am “that girl” that is willing to try anything that promises even remotely improving or stopping the aging process.  I spend a silly amount of time researching home remedies.  Time, that I realize could be spent in the gym which might help more than anything.  In my quest to hang on to what little young and feisty cells I have left, I thought I would share some of my fails and prize finds with you.  I assume you could use the entertainment and I could use the confession.  So, until someone comes along to make me their project in the makeover process, I will continue on my less wrinkle journey.  Wanna come with me?
  1.  Prize find:  Nerium AD cream.  A friend introduced me to this when she became an independent consultant.  I LOVE this product.  I could tell the most change (Or more immediate change) was actually in my cleavage area.  Although the boobs are headed south for more than the winter, this product has done a great job of making that area look younger.  You know those old ladies that have that one wrinkle in the cleavage area?  Not me!  What’s even more awesome is that my friend is no pushy about trying to shove a million dollars worth of product down my throat.  She simply offered the product for me to try.
  2. Prize find – Alicia fail:  Sally Hansen facial hair remover.  This product is great…….when used correctly.  Starting the hair removal process is more of a commitment than I was prepared for.  Ok, it was more of a commitment than I have probably had to anything in the last 12 years.  Once you start, you have to keep it up.  Be careful that you don’t leave it on too long.  There is definitely a magic number of time for each person.  I have yet to perfect that part of the routine so think nothing of it when you see splotches of burned skin or patches of peach fuzz on my face.
  3. FAIL: Honey and lemon remedies.  I have read many uses for this such as blackhead help (much needed for me), hair masks, etc.  Thus far, every recipe I have tried has failed miserably.  For example, the face remedy it offered ended up with a slime like mess running down my neck and even got in my nose somehow.  Then I fell asleep waiting on it to dry and panicked when I woke up and had forgotten what I had done.
  4. FAIL: making your own pore strips.  I can’t even remember the recipe but I do remember how horrid it smelled and how hard it was to get off.  Those pretty pictures the blogger posted made it look like I would never be buying pore strips again.
  5. SUPER PRIZE:  Cocunut oil.  I could write a blog on it and all the wonderful things it has done for me that would be a small book.  But just go with me on this one and read up on it from people who have way better writing skills than me.  It is like a miracle treatment for everything.  I use it for my dry skin as a lotion.  I use it as a hair mask.  I take pill forms of it and haven’t had my blood pressure prescription filled since.  I had a gimp toenail issue solved.  The list goes on.  It is a staple in my house.
  6. Prize:  Water.  As much as I hate to admit this one because for one it’s just boring and for two I hate admitting that “they” are right…..they are.  I drank over 100oz a day for 21 days and got more compliments on my skin.  I didn’t look bloated.  My skin was smoother and fuller.  And then I fell off the wagon (because that is what I do).  But!!!  I am hoping back on and have a new hot pink water jug to prove it.  This jug is sold at Family Dollar and is 100oz.  I fill it up in the morning and don’t have to keep tabs on how much I have drank.  I just know I have to make it through the jug.
So, what are your secrets?

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