Tag Archives: dating

Dungeons and Douchebags: is it because you’re fat?

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Sometimes I lose my passion. Ok, not lose it necessarily, but it seems to get buried in the mundane routine of life. Then, someone comes along and ignites it. Sometimes they ignite it in unpleasant ways.

As I was leaving a meeting today, I received a notification that I had a new message on my dating app. I will admit that a giddiness comes over me when I see these notifications. The excitement isn’t even about “could this be the one” sending the message. It is more like “oh, this oughta be good. Can’t wait to see how this turns out. I need new material”. You see, online dating has merely become a source of examples as to why I am ok being single.

ANYWAY! I digress. So Da_GreatWhyte_Hype messages me today. His picture is a gorilla so my hope in seeing his name and pic in my inbox is that this guys is hilarious and that we will hit it off from a humor perspective. As usual, I was expecting too much.

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My headline on my dating profile says “Allergic to shirtless and gym selfies”. His message said “Are you allergic because you are fat”.

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Within seconds I felt a heat inside of me. Not a hot flash heat. A boiling in my stomach that spread like wildfire. I immediately started calling on Jesus to calm my nerves and save this boy from my response. But then I just assumed Jesus probably had bigger fish to fry and I would handle this guy for him. :) THEN I realized how this guy doesn’t deserve my correspondence. Ok, I only realized this part after replying with “Wow, you definitely don’t disappoint in being a prick” (since he referenced himself as such in his profile). And finally, I realize that this is opportunity to address the masses just in case there is one person out there who is interested in understanding a few things (which is also simply me venting to the masses in an effort of exercising writing therapy and refraining from getting into further argument with this douchelord).

In his defense…he is a self-proclaimed prick

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I have written before about how interesting I find it that when people have no other argument or defense with some, they automatically turn it into something completely stupid. For example when people say “oh are you all pissy because you need to take your hormone pill?”. Nope, I’m pissy because you’re a jerk. Let me explain to you (you tiny little jerk hiding behind a pic of gorilla) why I don’t care for shirtless or gym selfies.

1. Shirtless selfies: I am SO SICK of seeing guys without their shirts. I know. It feels just as weird for me to type it as it does for you to read it (especially coming from me in general – lover of men). But here is the deal dudes. If a girl reveals too much in the way she dresses, we are not leaving anything to mystery. We hear how there is nothing left to the imagination if we show off too much. It’s also pointed out that if we will share our skin with the world in the form of revealing dress and such, that what is so special about what we have for one person. If you, as a guy (or girl for that matter) are willing to put a shirtless pic of yourself online for any stranger to come across, what are you saving for me should we enter a relationship. What makes me special at this point? Every girl online has seen your chest. You’re essentially a used piece of tape to me at this point and I have no desire to use you to hold anything together :) (pardon the cheesy analogy)

2. Gym Selfies: Great! You take care of yourself! You work hard for that rocking body that you have also shown off in your little to no clothes shot. You can clearly out lift, out run, and out last me athletically based on your pic of you sweating it out in a gym alone. I guess I don’t see what you flexing in a mirror selfie at the gym is supposed to show me about you other than you love your muscles. I am sure people could argue this with me all day long and it scares me at the responses that could come flooding in defending those types of pics. But for me personally, I am just most likely going to perceive you as someone a little more stuck on themselves than I prefer. I would much rather see a pic that shows your personality and charming smile.

3. Do you know what kind of courage it takes to put yourself out there on an online dating site? There are countless people looking and probably judging you. It’s fine. And it’s even more fine if someone skips over me. Think what you want about me……to yourself. We do not know each other. We are not homies. You can look at my profile and think “nope. Big girl. Not for me”. That won’t bother me a bit. But approaching me like you did. That is just beyond rude and shows what a man of little character you are.

I am actually thankful this jerk messaged me today. Because the old Alicia would’ve called friends crying about it being true. I would’ve cried that this is why I’m alone. I would’ve cried that I’m ugly. Instead, I chose to pause. I paused then looked at myself in the mirror and made myself say something nice. I do need to lose weight. That is not a lie. That is a truth I see every time I step out of the shower. It is not however my definition. It is not the reason I do or do not And I think I had forgotten that in not liking myself a lot these days.

I am not proclaiming allergies to those types of pics because I am fat sir. I am proclaiming them out of tiredness in seeing them. I am proclaiming it in an effort to ward off messages from those that I already know probably won’t be a match. And after your message today, I clearly need to update those parameters

P.S. he added his pic. But i still think the gorilla is a better choice

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Dungeons and Douchebags……and donuts

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Although I have taken myself off “online dating” sites, it doesn’t relieve me of interactions with past “dudes” I have had encounters with.  I am happy to say that currently, I am “taking it slow” with someone in hopes of it possibly working out to “happily ever after” but figure that it shouldn’t stop my D&D stories.  It actually makes me appreciate the “just taking it slow” process quite a bit more.  Usually at the end of typing out a beautiful story for you to read, I end up thinking “man, I’m thankful that I am not dealing with any of the currently”.

I would never have written about Steve (I honestly can’t even remember if that’s his name).  He wasn’t anything too exciting in the way of lame material to blog about.  Nice guy.  No real red flags or weird issues.  And honestly we both had pretty much admitted that there was no dating interest there, but enjoyed having a few drinks after work from time to time.  We usually ended up comparing stories about online dating interactions.  I would almost feel worse after his stories because I would see the crazy women he would get messages from and think “ok, I know I am way more normal than this and yet, I’m not having any luck on here”.  I am proud to say I never contemplated mimicking any of the pics he showed me of women such as the lady laid out across her bed in fuzzy Hello Kitty pajama pants and a tank top making a kiss face.  But it doesn’t mean I didn’t wonder what the heck was going on.

Steve and I lost touch.  I hope it wasn’t because of the girl I saw him out with one night in the 80’s shirt and feather bangs.  But, I guess if she swept him off his feet, then congrats to him.  I was irritated that we lost touch at first because I wasn’t even trying to date him.  I was simply a nice person being nice to someone who had just moved here.  We were not exchanging jokes via text anymore.  I was being ignored for whatever reason and I was not happy about it.  That’s just rude.  But, I also know you can’t chase.  And I wouldn’t want to whip out my crazy chasing card on someone I knew I would never date anyway :)

HOWEVER, it does not matter what status you were with a guy, there are certain moments that just don’t help your cause and create small mortifications in a woman’s life.

One of those moments is when you have tried to be “Miss Cool”, you quit talking to/seeing someone and then they catch you at a stop light with your windows down, music up, making sweet sweet love to a Krispy Kreme donut.  Especially when you’re already a “thick” girl.  There I was, treating myself to a donut (just one I swear).  One of my favorite songs was on the radio.  The sunroof was open.  The windows were down.  I was eating that donut like I just got out of prison.  And I hear someone say “hey you”.  I look over, sugar frosting all over my mouth, to see Steve.  Greeeeaaaattttttttttt.

Wait!  What the heck do I care?  I don’t owe Steve anything.  I don’t have to explain myself to him (or anybody).  I am proud to be eating a donut dang it!

And then he says “hey girl, what you been up to?? Do you still workout at that one gym you were going to?  What was the name of it?”.  Really?  Do you think you’re cute Steve (a 38 year old man with a jacked up mister truck that you need a step stool to get into)?  Well, you’re not.  And, that beard doesn’t look right on you either.  I just wave and say “hey!” and quickly take off as soon as the light turns green.  I get a text from him later that says “we should catch up sometime, it’s been a while.  Maybe we could go for a walk”.

No.  We should not catch up.  You have ignored me for months.  And no, I don’t wanna go on a walk with you.  Why are you stalking me about exercise Steve?  I want to eat a donut.  And maybe another one after that.

Ok, so maybe Steve was just trying to have conversation.  And of course I know he really isn’t too much of a dbag (even though the ignoring definitely didn’t help his cause).  I mean I’ve dealt with worse.  And maybe I know that the real issue here is my insecurity about being big and eating a donut and knowing I could make better eating choices. :)

But, knowing all of that, I also still know and am convicted in my belief that you should be who you are.  And in the dating world (especially in the cruel dating world), you do not dare let some person you barely met online make you feel any less than amazing!  The right guy will eat a donut with you.  And if he wants you to be healthier and go for a walk, he will be smart about his approach and craft something like “hey babe, wanna go shopping at the mall” and get you to walk that way :)

 

 

Dungeons and Douchebags Series….Meet Jacob

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Sigh…..I was just bragging about how I hadn’t met anyone who fit this category enough to blog about them and then Jacob happened.  Normally I wouldn’t be too bothered by a guy not working out that I met online.  But this guy…….this guy has me all kinds of worked up and not in a good way.
Meet Jacob.  I was going to disguise his name and such but am just too mad to give him any protection.  He doesn’t deserve it at this point.
Jacob is a 35 year old online dater.  His profile pic on the dating website was nice enough to know that he was extremely good looking (in my opinion) but still not too clear.  Jacob messaged me, which was nice since I am usually the aggressor and contact most guys first.  Then the following happened.  You can draw your own conclusion about Jacob, I am just going to list the facts.  Also, during this list, there will be a few points where you probably will think to yourself “well, that’s obvious, you should’ve stopped talking to him then”.  I agree with you.  But when I know they are being snakes, it does something within me that makes me want to dig further and gather info to later call them out.  I also realize that probably is some serious issue deep within that I should seek therapy for (I mean I can’t be some douchebag busting super hero I guess).  ANYWAY, “it is what it is” today for the story telling purposes of this blog. :)
  1.  Jacob messages me on the site and says “you are super sexy”.  I reply how nice that was to hear.  We continue to message back and forth and later exchange numbers.  I am always leary of super hot guys on these sites.  For one, I am not a “hot guy” attractor.  I’m just not.  I usually do better with the nerds and I am more than ok with that.  It’s not secret that I am not a super model in the least, so when an unusually attractive man reaches out, I am always suspicious.  (again, an issue I’ll save for my therapist)     photo 3
  2. We start texting.  Jacob is a little bit more flirty than I am comfortable with so soon but I also realize that I have been quite the prude lately and figure it won’t hurt to try to be more open to compliments and flirting.  Plus, he sent me a pic of himself through text and I’m not gonna lie….I was a sucker.  He is a beautiful human.
  3. Because I am a typical girl (and do not even try to act like this is crazy – just because I am about to admit to it doesn’t make me crazy – honey every girl does her own research whether she admits it or not) I do a little Facebook research.  I type in Jacob’s number in the search bar of Facebook and BAM, there he is.  Jacob G.  I pull up his Facebook profile to see that his profile picture was updated on 5/24.  It’s a sweet pic of him and his little girl sitting on a 4-wheeler……….and on his hand is a wedding ring.  Nice.  Then, if you scroll further, you see another profile pic was posted on 5/23 of him with a beautiful woman (much prettier than I am for sure!).  Sweet.  IF, I am going to be open minded and give him the benefit of the doubt, that was three weeks ago so maybe he is NEWLY single.
  4. I text Jacob and say “so, do you have Facebook”.  He replies “no”.  Oh, interesting because I just found you on there.  He explains it as his ex has his login info and must be posting it for him.  He says he has it all cleared up now and do I see his profile anymore.  Nope, sure don’t.  Glad you got that fixed buddy.   photo 4photo-7
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  5. We talk on the phone briefly after work and he has to let me go to change his daughter’s diaper. He says he will call me back shortly.  I text him and ask if we can talk later since I am cooking dinner and such.  He says “yeah, text first though”…..hmmm, why’s that?   photo 1-1
  6.  We continue to text some and I try to call him later to which he explains he can’t talk because his daughter fell asleep on his chest.  Oh.  Ok.  photo 3-1
  7. This morning bright and early he is texting me being all charming and such.  But I just don’t trust him.  So when I’m having coffee with a coworker and telling her about this situation, she pulls up her Facebook app on her phone and searches for him.  Well, would you looky here…….there is hot Jacob’s profile.  Sooooo, you basically just used my trick of putting in my phone number, finding my Facebook profile and blocking me.  Genius.  Except that I’m not dumb.  I choose to “address” everything in reply to his “sad face” text when he asks if I am daydreaming about him and I say “no” :) .  I then send him this book of a text to which I have received no reply (and probably never will).  I’m not even sure why I was even the least bit nice, but I felt like I was compared to what I was thinking.  :)  photo-8

I am beyond mad.  Not for myself.  I have thick skin.  Be a douchebag to me, that’s fine, I’ll just blog about it.  But how many women is he hitting on and flirting with that he is also clearly not being honest with?  It’s just not necessary.  Online dating is hard enough as it is without morons like yourself doing stupid and shady stuff such as this.  And that girl in his profile pic…she is adorable.  Does she even have a clue that he is on a dating site?  Sure, women are crazy.  But guys like you provoke it.

You Jacob, deserve a swift kick in the balls.  I’m not sure if he has ever won any awards, but today, he takes the “Douchelord of the Day” award hands down.

Declaration of “limbdependance”

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Earlier yesterday, I made this happy little post in social media land. As if I not bold enough already, I was now declaring to be even bolder.

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Love this little book a sweet friend got for me! Even though its tiny and each page has just one little saying, I discovered how much of it applies to where I am at today. Starting with these few images. I am losing the ability to fear outcomes. Ok, maybe not losing it but not letting it control what I go after as much. Today, I start finding more limbs to go out on. I will stop thinking “i should do” or “i wish i could” and actually do. Cute guy at the grocery store? I am going to strike up conversation. In the mood for breakfast and nobody to accompany me? Going anyway. Not posting a blog because nobody probably reads them….not anymore. Today I start “doing” more and smiling no matter what the outcome is!!! Love who you are. #journey #selflove #selfcare

And then came this….

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Remember that whole “going out on a limb” business earlier??? Well….i decide to boldly ask someone to dinner. It just happens to be a guy WHO APPROACHED me at a restaurant last week. We visited for two hours. He wrote the note you see here and then showed up at a party my friends invited him to on Saturday (he knew nobody there so we all assumed he showed up out of interest for me). We were all confused as to why he would show up since he had not been returning my texts only to find out he wrote down the wrong number (which he blamed on his intoxication). So…anyway….there seemed to be obvious interest :-). Until he just tells me that he only wants to go to dinner as friends. Did he see me saturday in full light and change his mind? I mean i was even wearing a dress when i first met him and my legs were exposed AND i had cankles. By Saturday I am in a cute cardigan and ankle jeans. Now he just wants to be friends? Everyone thinks women are crazy. And most of us are. But at least we arent confusing :-)
OH WELL…I declared earlier I would smile through it with no regrets…..so 😃 moving right along!!! (He had bad grammar anyway so maybe being friends can at least teach him the correct form of “you’re”)

Laughter in the Busy Basket

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I had no idea when I planned to blog everyday for the next 30 days in an effort to “do something different” and stick with it, that my busy basket would all of the sudden be filled to the rim!  I’m swamped at work more than ever.  I am moving to a new place this weekend.  I have a gala to attend Saturday night and literally every weekend until March is crammed packed with a full schedule.  I know, it’s all of my own doing.  I have already pulled out the big girl panties to deal.  It has however, interfered with my great plan to peacefully just come home and write an abundance of really thought provoking, in depth words of wisdom.  Instead, it has lead to exhaustion induced comedy.  Or at least that is my way of dealing with the overwhelmed and exhausted feeling.

So, without further delay I bring you my Wednesday (which I thought was Thursday all day)

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  • It started with no less than 10 snooze button hits followed by a 30 minute conversation with myself about how no matter how busy things are, I must get up.  Hiding under the covers will not work.  I then negotiated with myself that I would get away with a messy pony tail and sport my red/white polka dotted glasses and that should ignite the sassy factor getting the day started.

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  • When I get to work, I start my usual routine of making a cup of green tea (I so miss coffee on this stinking detox) and warming up breakfast.  Then I like to get to my desk, enjoy my breakfast and evaluate what the glorious day beholds for me.  I do not like being interrupted while in conversation with another person.  Especially when it’s by a spastic, over-reacting coworker wanting me to do something that they are more than capable of doing themselves.  What if I died tomorrow Tory?  Who would schedule your meeting then? When am I going to get that paper work done for you?  You mean the 6 new projects worth of paperwork that I just got yesterday? Can you not see that I’m eating my omelet, talking to someone else about another project and waiting on my green tea to kick in?  Do you not realize the implications of making a big girl on detox put her fork down when this omelet recipe is one of the only things that feels like food????????

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  • Based on the immediate interruption compared to the amount of work I must accomplish today, I decide to lock myself in one of the side offices that stay empty in our office.  Perfect.  I can listen to my music out loud, spread all my papers and junk out and crank out some serious work today.  Go.  Wait!  What in the living heck is wrong with this mouse?  Why will it only scroll on the bottom of my screen?  Ugh, I’m moving the dang thing all over.  Great.  I have fought my computer for a week and now my bleeping mouse is going to go crazy?  Oh, wait.  It’s pointed upside down and facing the wrong way?  Ummmm, ok.  My bad.  (it’s a Mac wireless mouse so easy to confuse ok?)

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  • I watch Tory pass by the office no less than 32 times throughout the day.  I can tell it is taking every bit of restraint not to come peek in to ask me something.  Don’t do it Tory.  Not today.

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  • Lunch break.  Quick run to get the keys to my new apartment.  Definitely a high point in the day.  I am SO EXCITED for new adventures.  I haven’t been on my own since leaving the abusive relationship I was in a couple of years ago.  I can’t wait to move continue healing and move forward.  I know there are so many good things ahead.  I sit in the middle of the living room floor just looking around and enjoying the silence.  Yes, it’s an apartment with neighbors.  Yes I wanted to wait until I had everything completely perfect before moving.  Of course I haven’t packed.  I have no “theme” planned out for each room.  I still need to pick up a thousand things.  But sometimes I think waiting til all is in order is a way of putting off stepping out of my comfort zone.  Shhhh Alicia.  Enjoy the silence.  There is no barking dog next door (seriously I don’t know how the dog even has a bark left because it LITERALLY barks ALL NIGHT LONG EVERY SINGLE NIGHT).  You are sitting in your own place.  On your own.  Not looking over your shoulder wondering if the car passing by is your ex coming back for you.  Those keys in your hand are your next step to the wonderful life you have been working so hard for.  Ok, peaceful elation over.  Back to work.

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  • THANKFULLY my coworker that joined me in the side office (she needed to hide as much as I did) and turned on some great tunes.  There we were, rocking out our to do list, rapping to some 90’s Will Smith.  Like a boss.

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  • FINALLY leave work to come home and cook.  This whole cooking thing is so new to me but I am loving it.  I have never cared to cook for just myself.  But now that I am doing this detox and have to be so careful about what I eat, I have forced myself to learn to cook.  And I love it.  I make the detox version of parmesan chicken and start to tackle a homemade ice cream recipe.  So excited to have a taste of cocoa.  Add in the bananas and I am pretty sure that every crazy thing about today is going to melt away.  Nope.  The ice cream was a huge fail.  Sad times.  The chicken though was good even if I did have to do without the cheese.  I don’t cook pretty.  I make a huge mess.  But I’m trying.  So the chicken was a little burned.  I’m eating it anyway.

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  • Gave a free profile consultation to a guy on the dating website I am on to help improve his presence there.  That was fun.  Did the dishes.  That was not fun.  And lastly sat down to some good tunes on Spotify to type this so that I hold up my promise.  Unfortunately there are a few work emails that need to be dealt with before bed but it was a nice break to cook and write.

I love a good balance of busy and downtime.  But I also choose to look at times when the busy takes over as an opportunity to buckle down, see what I am made of, and learn something from it for the future.  I like to laugh at myself in the process and look back to see how far I came and wonder how in the heck I made it through that season.

Never take life too seriously.  Nobody makes it out alive. ~ Sydney J. Harris

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Girl things

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I am honestly missing coffee and not in clear thinking land yet today.  So, all I have for you is some completely random thoughts about being a girl.  Sorry guys (even though it might give you some insight into us ladies!).

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Is it better to have short stubby nails and paint them or try to keep up with acrylic overlays/fills?  I have oily nail beds and the most brittle nails of anyone I know.  It’s really annoying to pay for a “full set” and it only last a week at the most.  I love a good manicure as much as the next girl and I truly get about 37% heartbroken when a nail breaks (ok, that was a bit dramatic – the heartbreak is temporary I promise).  Nail life shouldn’t be this hard.  To be continued……..

I was keeping my fingers crossed that the mullet skirts and shirts were out for spring/summer this year.  However, I have seen three commercials featuring them today.  Sure, they work for cute, skinny people.  But for a thicker girl, it’s no win.  Sure, the mullet feature (business in the front, party in the back) from the backside helps with some coverage.  But now, there is a shorter front exposing the Goodyear tire that is my torso.  As for the mullet skirts I’m sorry I just can’t love them.  I can’t promise that if I have a pair of scissors around someone wearing one that I wouldn’t follow her around and cut it off.  Ultimately it just seems like an indecisive fashion statement that someone made.  You know, there they were designing great clothes and were torn on long or short so the made it both and someone caught on enough to blow it up.  Stop.

It’s almost time for spring (thank goodness after a crappy winter).  That means it’s almost time to change from my fall purse to my spring purse.  That’s about as often as I change.  I never caught on to changing purses all the time (although my mom is a pro at it so I’m not sure how I missed that gene).  I love a big purse.  With that much space, comes much packing.  I should start picking purses based on the amount of chiropractor visits I think it’s going to cause : ) !  I recently purchased one of the “As Seen on TV” purse organizers (side note, I have a weakness for ASOT purchases).  I am currently waiting on it to come in the mail and as I wait I can’t decide if I’m excited about organization, sad about needing it because my bag is so big, or embarrassed because it seems like only old ladies might enjoy it.  Do you feel me?

I hate razors.  Or, I should say, I hate buying razors.  It punches me in the gut every time I shop and need them to put in the basket.  Why are they so expensive?  I mean, I’m single, nobody is going to be touching my legs……so why not just skip shaving all together?  Ha!  If only!  But seriously, who are these razor making bazillion aires and why do they make them so expensive?  Even disposable razors are getting expensive.  In my opinion, this is all very lame.

Single shopping at the grocery store is a missed opportunity for me.  I am contemplating doing a study about this.  I’m not sure what the study would prove or whom it would benefit but it just seems like it needs to be explored.  I visited the local Fresh Market after my jog on Sunday.  There were single men everywhere (I assume they were single since they were not wearing a ring).  I even ended up on the same aisle as one of the cuties shopping around only to realize I was staring at men’s products.  I exited quickly.  I wanted to approach at least two of the guys I came across.  And I should.  Why not?  For some reason as outgoing as I am, I clam up in this area like you wouldn’t even believe.  What do you say?  Oh I love that organic coconut milk too, what’s your number? Plus I was still in my workout clothes and sporting a headband that said, “will run for margaritas”, WITH a uniboob (compliments of my sports bra).  So, let’s think about this for next time.  What is the best way to approach a guy in the grocery store?  I feel like I need a playbook.  Go.

That’s what’s on my mind for a Monday morning.  I am so excited for a great week ahead!  Make it great!  I am challenging myself to do one thing different every day even if it’s small.  Won’t you join me?  Let me know how it goes!

Girl…you snow craaazzzyyyyy

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Ok, so round 327 of being iced in this year has gotten to my brain so much that I’m turning my titles into plays of other phrases.  Which, happen to be pretty funny to me, but I doubt you all reading this are on the floor laughing.

In being trapped inside for what feels like the 898th day (even though it has really only totaled about 13 thus far I think), I forced myself to get a lot of randomness out of my head.  I promised myself I would not be lazy and give in to the temptation to nap in between conference calls.  I promised to apply a lot of check marks of completion to my ridiculously long to do list.  And, I promised to not ignore my random thoughts today.  I firmly believe these “snow days” are a divine conspiracy to make me slow down.  So, today I decided to embrace it.  After a random call with a friend to get some things off my chest and attempt to do it in a humorous manner, she noted “girl you are so crazy, the things that come out of your mouth”……no….I am “snow” crazy……and I am “snow” sick of this weather.  Ok, I’ll stop.  Here are some things that are “snow” random in my head these days J (sorry, just HAD to do it one more time)

Boys:  late last week a guy emailed me on a dating site I’m on to say hello in the form of a poem.  When I checked out his profile, I found that he apparently had a vision from God that lead him to this dating site and to put at least 4 pages worth of info about himself in the “About Me” section.  Maybe it was a little mean, but out of sheer boredom, I replied and asked that based on what he said in his profile and the fact that he reached out to me did that mean “I was the one”.  He quickly replied “yes, you are”.  Wow.  Could this be it?  His next message informed me that his vision from God was very clear of me lying on a bed, in my pajamas with my shoes off (which leaves me wondering who lays in bed with their shoes on in their pjs), smiling at him.  He was very clear that it was me.  Hmmm…really?  No thank you.  Don’t you think that if God himself so clearly laid out “the one” for you, that he might also inform that person in some way as well.  Maybe the postcard is delayed, but I haven’t had any indication that he was the one for me.  In addition to that, if you knew for sure it was me…….then why did you need to make such an in depth profile for everyone to read.  Wouldn’t you just make a general profile and save all the juicy details about yourself for our private convo?  That’s just my take.  I have not heard from him since that last email so I’m guessing he had another vision that counted me out of the running.

 Oscars:  I missed the red carpet and the whole show for the most part because I was watching Dallas Buyer’s Club.  However, my observations of what I did see are that the women looked beautiful, the men looked handsome and the speeches were great.  The one thing I noticed (and noted in yesterdays blog) is that everyone that wins is in such a rush to thank everyone and make it through their incredibly long list of names before they are rushed off stage.  What is wrong with assuming that someday you will definitely win an award and just starting to thank those who you feel “made the list” now?  So, I am randomly going to start thanking people so that when I get my big award, I can use the time to breathe, be grateful and say something absolutely epic that sparks as many articles/updates/shares as Matthew M saying “I thank God”.  And…I’ll save that topic for another blog someday : )  Today I would thank my church camp leader Terry Gregory.  She grabbed me at one of our camps and said “some day you are going to be a great leader”.  That was the first time in my life I can remember anyone thinking or believing anything like that about me and speaking it out loud to me.  I’m not sure I have accomplished it yet, but I think of that moment almost every single day.

 Detox:  Accckkk!!!  Today was the first day of a trainer guided 21 day detox program.  The problem?  Well, there are a few.

  1. I am a procrastinator.  So, did I, knowing the weather was going to be bad on Sunday, make my grocery list and shop early so that I could prepare the meals I needed?  Nope.  Of course I didn’t.  Thankfully I did get some fruits and veggies so I can make it on those til I have a clear weather day to shop.
  2. Also, in my procrastination, I did not do an inventory of what I had and get rid of the “bad stuff” that is in the house.  For example, Ben & Jerry’s Pistachio ice cream.  Full pint.  Just sitting there whispering “eat me, it’s ok, you’re trapped inside”.  It should also be mentioned that I bought my team at work a whole box of Butterfinger Cups (THE BEST NEW CANDY EVER) and planned on delivering it to them to eat today.  Since our office was closed, they sit on my table begging for my attention.
  3. I am guilty of being an emotional eater.  It seems like when someone like me puts myself in a situation like this, the first few days, all I think about is flippin food.  But I know that this is what is best for me and I am SO EXCITED about some great things that I know are going to happen for me this year.  I want to be as prepared for those as possible and be of clear mind and body : )
  4. I am a horrible cook.

 Exercise:  I signed up for a “women can run” clinic that starts this week.  I have no idea why I am so obsessed with becoming a runner.  I hate it while I’m doing it.  I can’t imagine what I must look like moving “all this” at a pace faster than a brisk walk.  But, it’s new, and that’s another promise I made for 2014.  I must try something that makes me uncomfortable and no matter how bad I hate it, I must complete it.  It’s a 10 week course with a “graduation” run at a 5k event for this group (Women Run).  If I am actually able to still breathe when this time comes, I have decided to run in a graduation cap and gown! Glittered support signs welcome.

As I sit here looking out the window at the BRIGHT blue sky and untouched snow, I just find peace.  My mind is busy with lots of noise but my heart is full.  My hope is that even though this blog basically has zero point (other than to fulfill the promise to myself to write every day for 30 days), that you feel inspired to sit down for a few minutes and let your random, “snow crazy” side out! : )

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