Tag Archives: dating

You and Your New Girlfriend Can Suck It!

You and Your New Girlfriend Can Suck It!
Today, I am unstoppable.  It’s a dangerous place to be for someone with my drive and personality.  When you wake up feeling this good and confident, you can take over the world.  And usually, you do, for that day.  The dangerous part comes in when you have so much confidence and excitement for the day that your cares and give a crap meter breaks.  You are more likely to take on that tough situation with a little more gumption than normal.
That’s where I am at today.  My name is Alicia, and I am unstoppable.  I have an amazing outfit (which we will touch on in a bit), good hair, sparkly bracelets, and I feel great (which is few and far between these days with this new illness bullcrap).  And all of that makes me dangerous.
MAYBE, just maybe, typing this out loud will keep me from going “all out” today.  We can hope.  But I have an overwhelming urge to address a lingering topic in my life and doing it in this fabulous outfit just seems right.
We all know I love furiously.  That’s the problem with my personality.  When I go, I go hard.  I’m in 410% and sometimes it’s more than disappointing when I don’t feel like the person on the other side is in the same amount.  We’ve talked before in previous blogs about my need to keep my heart in check.  I can’t keep giving it away or I’m not going to have any left for the actual right person that comes along.
Lately, I seem to be the one left standing alone while past suitors latch on to great new relationships.  The typical stuff seems to happen.  They don’t want me or commitment, but then they all of the sudden find THAT woman that makes them do everything they said they would never do and ride off into eternal bliss sunset.  OF COURSE I am not delusional enough to think that it really is that perfect.  But, let’s be honest, when you’re hurt, it sure seems like it.
BUT TODAY.  TODAY, in all that is fabulous within me.  With all the truth that I know about me and the over abundance of feel good, I address this in my life.  TODAY is the day that worrying about or comparing myself to the new girl (or any other girl) stops.
I’m sorry I wasn’t for you.  Maybe I was too strong.  Maybe I was too clingy.  Maybe I was too much in general for a host of reasons.  Maybe you knew that you couldn’t keep up with me or be the top notch man I deserved.  Maybe you didn’t like my size.  WHATEVER the reason, that’s on you.  And it’s ok.  Because you not wanting me doesn’t make me less awesome.  TODAY is the day that I say that out loud and give zero cares.
Today, you and your new girlfriend can suck it.  I will just be over here looking amazing in my great outfit and working on being a better me.  Working towards the best me, actually.
*Disclaimer:  for all the Nosey Roseys out there – this is not directed at one particular man.  There are plenty of exes in my life lately that have gotten way too much of my energy and comparing.  To the exes – don’t get butt hurt.  You’re the ones who didn’t want me, so don’t sit there and pout that I’m writing about it.  :) 

Stopped typing for a sec to see if maybe I had developed a remorse for tying the above and being too blunt…..nope… :p

NOW – about this outfit!  I caved and tried Gwynnie Bee.  It’s a clothes subscription much like Stitch Fix, but for plus sized women.  Honestly, they drove me nuts on email and I was about to unsubscribe until they offered me a free month.  Of course, they send me this greatness in an effort to pull me in further……and it’s almost working.
  • The jacket is sheer.  The tag even says “M”, as in medium, which I appreciate (even though I accept that I’m not)
  • The skirt, well, it’s just heaven.  It fits like a glove.  It’s comfortable.  And I NEVER thought I would love a slit in my skirt, BUT I DO.
  • I added my own jewelry, cami and heels and VOILA, you see the awesome result.
  • Bonus:  my nails just happen to be glittery too!
I repeat, I am unstoppable.  :)

The Only Time Floppy is a Good Thing….

The Only Time Floppy is a Good Thing….

Is when it is in reference to a floppy hat or floppy disk. 

IMG_4999I wasn’t aware I even had a love for either until my exchange student demanded that this hat come home with us a while back (isn’t it a fantastic hat…..and I’m completely swooning over the layers of necklaces).  The other floppy love isn’t as much about the floppy disk as it is the times when they were popular.  Ok, maybe they were never popular.  We just didn’t have any other choices.  But, the times that the floppy disk lived in, well, they just seemed simpler.  I think we all go through spurts of longing for simpler, don’t we?  I actually associate floppy disks with my dad.  He was a computer teacher at the time and we had what seemed like a gazillion of them laying around.  See, I’m already going back to simpler memories.  My dad seemed to make everything simple.  

Life is busy.  We are moving so fast towards whatever, that we lack the ability to be simple.  Sometimes that leads to a state of just “blah”……know what I’m sayin?  I am a prime example of this in so many ways that I have lost count.  When I get to going too fast, if I’m being cheesy, life just gets a bit floppy.  The difference in me now is, that I try to be very aware.  I try to slow down every once and a while and examine where I am allowing too much floppy and work towards improvement. I quit beating myself up a long time ago for getting to a state of floppy.  Forgiving yourself is important.  I just try to note it, stop it at the first acknowledgement, and move forward.  What do you do?

Here are where floppy isn’t good for me……Can anyone relate?  

  1.  Floppy Friends – It’s taken me a really long time to be ok with not feeling obligated to keep friends around that aren’t good for me.  Nobody has to be a jerk about it but I simply cannot allow friendships that are a flop to continue.
  2. Floppy Boys – I have no idea when it happened or what switch was flipped, but it has been really cool to try the approach of actually being direct and intentional about my dating life.  Sure, it has cut a lot of guys out of the mix, but that’s more than ok.  I cannot allow myself to give parts of my heart away to someone who gives me floppy effort (or no effort at all).  I was SO SCARED to take this new approach for myself, but so far, I am pretty pleased with how it’s going. 
  3. Floppy Habits – they gotta stop.  They just do.  It is more important than ever, with my recent diagnosis, that I make good choices.  If it doesn’t work for the good of my health, or the good of my life goals, it absolutely cannot become a habit in my life.  I accept this as a constant work in progress for me! I know that if there is one crack in my life, floppy will creep in and take over before I turn around.  Obviously, I am not 100% every day, but having a good army to stand guard helps!


I’m thinking I need to track down a few old floppy disks and keep them handy as a reminder that I can’t let anything but my cool hat get too floppy! 

Let’s have a great week.  Want to?


Casually Sequined

Casually Sequined

When is it ok to wear sequins to work?

Answer:  It is always ok to wear sequins to work.
One of my fav go to casual outfits.  Covered in feathers today and my hair is cooperating.  It’s gonna be a fantastic Friday for sure! Great tops, fabulous old-school clock necklace and awesome chunky bracelet.
Oh, and a selfie with my dog, because, duh….🐾❤️
I’m feeling extra casual and random today but this outfit makes me feel like I put way more effort into being cute than I did.  It’s ok to say out loud that you’re cute, ya know.  You can do that and you can mean it.  If you don’t feel like you can, just put some sequins on your body and you will magically be transformed into a sassy, confident individual! :)
Here are my top five random thoughts about sequins and other things today:
1.  Sequins are better than boys today.  It’s the first couple of days in a long time that I haven’t thought about my last heart break.  I am moving along from it in way healthier ways than ever before (because, unfortunately, this is the 3rd heart break from the same person).  The way I felt when I put this sequined top on (and the one I wore a few days ago) is honestly better than any guy has made me feel in ages.
2.  Why do we not feel worthy of wearing something sparkly in every day life?  We should.  Because maybe some extra sparkle is just what this crazy world needs right now.
3.  I hope the people who put sequins on clothes are happy people.  I like to think they are working somewhere that is full of rainbows and unicorns and happy music is playing while they apply them.
4.  If someone doesn’t appreciate a little sparkle from you (no matter what form you bring it in – sequined clothes or otherwise), then you don’t need them in your life.  And this sweet life is too short to let those people linger.
5.  If you aren’t leaving people in a better condition than when you came across them, then you aren’t doing life right.  So, get to it!

Loving a Big Girl Q&A

Loving a Big Girl Q&A

Have you ever wondered if you can you love a bigger girl, guys? The answer is yes. Today, on top of a great Shopping In My Closet outfit, I bring you a little Q&A that might help bring a little clarity. Hope this helps! Be sure that you share this with friends. You too big girls. The world needs awareness and answers to these important questions 😝


1. Will loving a big girl kill me?

 Answer: No. You won’t die. However it should be noted that a girl of any size could make you wish you were dead if you cross her. 

2. Should I hide my food when I first date a bigger girl? 

Answer: No. We do not want your food. We are perfectly capable of getting our own. You should, however, hide your food if you are a grown man that lives off of Cosmic Brownies in a box and Mountain Dew. 

3. Should I tell my big girl that she is big? Even if it is out of love? 

Answer: No. Do not insult her intelligence. Unless she is blind, doesn’t have a mirror, or has never passed by a window, this subject should never be addressed by you. You think she doesn’t know she is big. What would be big would be the size of the mistake you make by thinking you are holy enough to bring this to her attention. Refer to number one’s ending statement. 

4. Will a big girl crush me while we are making love? 

Answer: Well, first let me ask you some questions. Do you weigh less than 50 pounds? Are you Channing Tatum? I think you need to worry less about her crushing you and more about how you can make her wish she never had to leave the bedroom. 

5. Will a big girl increase my grocery bill if we become serious enough to grocery shop together? 

Answer: Yes. Because most likely she will require you to purchase more than those Cosmic Brownies and Mountain Dew. 

6. What if I really start to fall in love with a big girl? 

Answer: Well, then don’t screw it up. 

7. Will washing my big girl’s clothes require more laundry detergent

Answer: Nope. Not anymore than your crap-stained underwear might. 

8. What if my friends make fun of me for dating a big girl?

Answer: Two things: first, make 100% certain that you are equivalent to Channing Tatum so that your judging the hotness of the girl you are dating is completely justified. Next, break up with your girl immediately. Because surrounding yourself with friends like that CLEARLY indicates that you do not deserve the love of a big girl to begin with. Lastly, gather yourself and your friends and find the nearest cliff and have a jumping off of it party. 

9. How can I get my big girl to lose a few pounds for me? I really like her, but she would be even prettier if she could just drop a few pounds. You know, for her health. 

Answer: you can’t. What you can do is take your tiny little brain and find a mirror. Stand in front of the mirror and repeat after me…”It’s not about me. It’s not my journey. I should work on not being the biggest tool on the planet.”

10. Are all big girls as funny and cool as you, Alicia? Do they look as good shopping out of their closet and sporting this cool faux leather jacket as you?

Answer: sadly, no. Probably not. I’m kidding. There are tons of us out there!! The coolness over floweth!!


Pete and Repeat – The Boys That Won’t Go Away

Pete and Repeat – The Boys That Won’t Go Away

Hooray for a new week!  Some of my favorite outfits are up on deck this week to show you from shopping in my closet as well as some of my favorite stories and life lessons to go with them!  You’re going to see lots of repeats this week.  That was what made putting these together so fun, that I had so many pieces that worked with so many different things!!! 

In the theme of repeats, I figured we might as well talk about repeat boys.  Before your mind starts wondering to places it shouldn’t in reference to repeats (especially you people from my home town that know what a stupid teenager I was), let me clarify.  I mean those repeat offenders that you keep letting back into your life when they have proven so often that they don’t deserve to be there.  You know, the ones that you just can’t seem to cut ties with?  Maybe you’re not always the one bringing them back in, but when they show up, you don’t object.  If repeat offenders were one of those punch cards that when you fill up you get free food, I would have been able to feed my whole family last week!  Was there an old flame haunting convention in town and I missed it?IMG_5086

I am going to try really hard to make this short and sweet when every typing bone in my body could get started and not stop until at least a few chapters were written on just this subject.  In my complete education from the School of Hard Knocks and extreme lack of education in the area of psychology and other “guru doctorness”……here are my reasons/revelations as to why the only repeats I want in my life moving forward are good outfits, good movies and good songs on loop!  Although the following is more of a “me preaching to me” session, I am guessing there is someone else that needs to read it too!

  1.  You only have one heart.  It’s so fragile.  And every time you choose to use it to invest love into someone, you give a little piece of it away (or in my case a big piece).  Whether you want to admit it or not, you literally carve out a piece of it for the person you are choosing to love.  With an organ so very fragile, shouldn’t we take extra care of it and be careful how we give it away?  Because, even though we can glue it back together, or give it some kind of repair when it breaks, it will still never be the same.  Rarely does the person who took that piece you gave them, ever give it back in the same condition it was given in.  If they didn’t handle it correctly the first time, why would we allow them to have another piece.  What happens when you have given so many pieces of your heart away that you have nothing left when the right person does come along?  
  2. You are giving them permission to not change.  So, you broke the ties once (or maybe they broke them for you).  You finally begin to heal and realize that you are moving on in a better direction and that there is new opportunity for you to grow from it (or at least I hope that is the case for you).  Now, for whatever reason, they come knocking on the door of your heart again.  Maybe you invited them back out of loneliness.  Maybe they are coming back out of their own loneliness.  Either way, they’re back and your choice on whether you let them back in or not sends a louder message than you know.  Of course there are the situations where one actually does change and things actually can be repaired.  Often, those are more the exception than the rule.  Remember, the ties were broken for a reason.  And more often than not, you allowing repeat back in sends the message of “You don’t really have to change, I’ll let you back in and my guard will eventually fall enough for you to start the old habits of mistreating me again.”  Be careful of the message it sends to your own heart as well.  You could very well be letting it know “hey heart, I know you were working really hard to repair and move on, but we are gonna go backwards for a bit.”  I am not proud to admit that some have gotten not just one repeat trip, but a few.  IMG_5091
  3. You are delaying your real prize!  When you combine one and two above, you get delay.  See, whether you see it or believe it now or not, there is that one purpose that ONLY YOU are supposed to be.  It wasn’t made for anyone else, so nobody else can receive it.  Same goes for that “one person for you”, if you will.  It’s perfectly ok that you take a rugged path to get there or that you take your time.  It’s even fine to have the hiccups of going through a few wrong people.  BUT, if you don’t move from them and you allow them back, you are only delaying the greatest happening of your life.  You just are.  Man, that hurts to type and swallow for me right now!  I will tell you that finally truly believing that I deserve what is supposed to be for me and believing that there really is something THAT GREAT coming, has made it much easier for me lately to “cut the cord” a lot quicker with repeat bad things in my life (whether it be relationships of any kind, food, unhealthy thoughts, etc).  I want to get to the good that I know is there waiting and I do not want any more delays that I bring upon myself!  Make sense?
  4. You are risking an avalanche.  When you allow the repeats and give just that tiny opening for the brokenness to come back in, it is almost inevitable that it will affect other things in your life as well.  In my situation, it just opens the flood gates for negativity and it usually starts with me attacking myself.  It’s not secret that I am already battling that daily as it is.  It took more restraint than you know not to make this post about all the horrible things I see in these pictures (huge legs, puffy wrists, seven chins, etc).  But, if I take a stand against not allowing repeat “bad heart treaters” in my life, then that includes repeat self-hate.


As usual, I rattled way more than I intended to!  I hope that you get what I am saying and that you truly understand how precious you and that big ol’ heart of yours are!  Let’s end the repeat boys right there and get over to some good repeats, like this outfit! :)  This chami was purchased for less than a Sonic drink and goes with SO MANY things in my closet!  First up, is how it looks with this cardigan.  Don’t you just love a long cardigan?  I will have to have the same talk with myself as I do every year.  I will stand in the mirror and say “Alicia, you cannot wear a cardigan every single day this fall/winter.  You have to give the other great pieces in your closet some love too!”.  

Before you go, can we also just please take a minute to drool over these FABULOUS shoes and that great hat?  My exchange student insisted that I bring the hat into the wardrobe family and I am so glad she did!!  These shoes.  Well, these shoes are filling a hole that no man could fill anyway right now! :p 


Dear Guy Who Said “I can’t date you because of your log legs”…..

Dear Guy Who Said “I can’t date you because of your log legs”…..
You should see me now!

Ankles.  Can we talk about em for a sec?

I happen to hate mine.  I hate my legs in general, actually.  I remember a long time ago in high school an older lady told me what pretty legs I had.  I just wish I would have had enough brain cells as well.  Because if I did, I could’ve maybe realized how important it was to work hard and develop a lifestyle of healthiness and not have the “log legs” I do now.  Log legs.  Isn’t that a terrible phrase?  It’s exactly the phrase that a guy used for a reason he couldn’t date me past the first date.
I remember that date like it was yesterday.  He was a lawyer from Tulsa.  He drove to meet me and we had a lovely dinner at a great local restaurant.  It was the first time I had really dressed up for a date.  I wore the cutest “little black dress” and heels. I felt so pretty.  Our convo at dinner was a great, stimulating combination of quick wit and total sarcasm (my favorite).  He wasn’t someone I would’ve thought that I would’ve liked, but I did.  Then, as we are walking to the car after dinner, he says “I just got an email from work.  Looks like I am gonna have to go.”.  Huh?  When did he even check his phone?  I never left the table and never saw him on his phone.  And when did lawyers get urgent emails on a Saturday night at 10pm and have to jet out of the parking lot like a race car driver?  Whatever, dude.  Clearly we weren’t going to be going out again.  He could’ve just disappeared into the moonlight.  But he didn’t.  He sent a text the next day saying that he was sorry, but he didn’t think we were a match and he just couldn’t date someone with log legs.
Took me a long time to get past that one. Obviously, I am still hanging on to it a bit because I am still talking about it.  I even catch myself wondering what he would think now.  I’m way bigger than I was 7 years ago when he last saw me.  What word would he use to describe something bigger and stumpier than logs?  I think if I saw him today, I wouldn’t even say the snarky things that normally cross my mind.  I think I would just look at him and smile and think to myself “You silly little man.  I hate that you are missing out on who I have become.  But then again, you and your overly hairy arms and Tommy Bahama shirts don’t deserve to see who I have become”.
That story is all I thought about as I loaded the pics of this outfit.  Add in my discomfort in tucking in my shirt and exposing my untamed stomach to you and the you get Alicia ascending into self-hate at a rapid pace!  Shame on me for giving it that much energy.  As with any other bad thoughts, self-hate, or worry that start to creep in, I play the truth game.  Luckily, playing it with this saved the day!
  1.  This outfit is awesome.  Possibly my new favorite outfit.
  2. I do have large legs.  They hold me up.
  3. I do have large ankles.  They also keep me upright (most of the time)
  4. I look great in this outfit
  5. I need big limbs to carry around big awesomeness
  6. So what that I tucked my shirt in.  People do it all the time.  You can too, Alicia!
So I made a deal with my legs/ankles.  You guys keep carrying me around, and I’ll keep working to lighten your load.  And I will never bring around a guy who talks to you like that ever again!

Foreign Parenting for the Faux Mom


Taking on the adventure of hosting a 16 year old foreign exchange student for someone who has never had kids is not for the weak. I didn’t think that I would have too much to say about it. Then, I looked in the mirror and remembered who I was talking to. OF COURSE I have a lot to say!
I decided to start logging the journey via this blog since my normal writing material of dating adventures has come to a screeching halt (mostly because I am choosing to believe my current non-existent dates, patience in distance and growing as a person is going to work out better than any of the previous sport dating did)! It might have also migrated to this part of the interwebs because one status update to capture the daily “log” was monopolizing my friend’s Facebook newsfeeds. So, come along with me on this short journey. It cannot possibly be dull!!
Meet the sweetest teenager in the world. Monica is staying with me from Spain for the school year!

Now, on to the notes!
Case of the Mondays parenting notes 8.31.15:

1. It will most likely only be funny to me, but, I was explaining that I hate the M word to Monica tonight but she wasn’t understanding. We let it go and a bit later she wants me to explain “dat word moisty” to her again. Ha. Moisty does make moist a little more tolerable I suppose!
2. Tanker (The best dog in the world. Just look at that face!) had an accident in her bathroom (It was quite terrible actually after he has been a bit “inactive” in the bowel dept lately). She volunteers to clean it since I was cooking dinner. I hear gagging and dramatics coming from the bathroom and cannot stop laughing. I tell her to grab the mop and I will show her how to load it. She brings the vacuum. American home ec lesson to follow. 


3. I clicked on two parent articles that I saw friends had shared. And read them intently….cause I am a real faux parent now…and that’s what we do….read about how to be a smarter parent right?
4. I wrote. With an actual pen on actual paper. It felt so so so good. I can’t wait to look back on these journalings when I am 80 and remember such good times. At 80 they probably won’t be “memories” as much as completely new information since I will most likely be senile by then. I just hope that I can fill in the gaps between journal entries since my average time is about 1-2 years apart for each entry!!!
5. As I typed this, I sneezed. If you have ever heard my sneeze, imagine it way louder and completely unexpected. Monica will probably never be the same. (Someone actually recorded it once when I had enough warning to give them and I have attached it here for your judging pleasure. And NO, it is NOT “that” kinda sound pervs)!!!



Click HERE to hear the sneeze