When you explain to a woman that you can’t date her because of her size, what you are really saying is:
Is when it is in reference to a floppy hat or floppy disk.
I wasn’t aware I even had a love for either until my exchange student demanded that this hat come home with us a while back (isn’t it a fantastic hat…..and I’m completely swooning over the layers of necklaces). The other floppy love isn’t as much about the floppy disk as it is the times when they were popular. Ok, maybe they were never popular. We just didn’t have any other choices. But, the times that the floppy disk lived in, well, they just seemed simpler. I think we all go through spurts of longing for simpler, don’t we? I actually associate floppy disks with my dad. He was a computer teacher at the time and we had what seemed like a gazillion of them laying around. See, I’m already going back to simpler memories. My dad seemed to make everything simple.
Life is busy. We are moving so fast towards whatever, that we lack the ability to be simple. Sometimes that leads to a state of just “blah”……know what I’m sayin? I am a prime example of this in so many ways that I have lost count. When I get to going too fast, if I’m being cheesy, life just gets a bit floppy. The difference in me now is, that I try to be very aware. I try to slow down every once and a while and examine where I am allowing too much floppy and work towards improvement. I quit beating myself up a long time ago for getting to a state of floppy. Forgiving yourself is important. I just try to note it, stop it at the first acknowledgement, and move forward. What do you do?
Here are where floppy isn’t good for me……Can anyone relate?
I’m thinking I need to track down a few old floppy disks and keep them handy as a reminder that I can’t let anything but my cool hat get too floppy!
Let’s have a great week. Want to?
When is it ok to wear sequins to work?
Have you ever wondered if you can you love a bigger girl, guys? The answer is yes. Today, on top of a great Shopping In My Closet outfit, I bring you a little Q&A that might help bring a little clarity. Hope this helps! Be sure that you share this with friends. You too big girls. The world needs awareness and answers to these important questions 😝
1. Will loving a big girl kill me?
Answer: No. You won’t die. However it should be noted that a girl of any size could make you wish you were dead if you cross her.
2. Should I hide my food when I first date a bigger girl?
Answer: No. We do not want your food. We are perfectly capable of getting our own. You should, however, hide your food if you are a grown man that lives off of Cosmic Brownies in a box and Mountain Dew.
3. Should I tell my big girl that she is big? Even if it is out of love?
Answer: No. Do not insult her intelligence. Unless she is blind, doesn’t have a mirror, or has never passed by a window, this subject should never be addressed by you. You think she doesn’t know she is big. What would be big would be the size of the mistake you make by thinking you are holy enough to bring this to her attention. Refer to number one’s ending statement.
4. Will a big girl crush me while we are making love?
Answer: Well, first let me ask you some questions. Do you weigh less than 50 pounds? Are you Channing Tatum? I think you need to worry less about her crushing you and more about how you can make her wish she never had to leave the bedroom.
5. Will a big girl increase my grocery bill if we become serious enough to grocery shop together?
Answer: Yes. Because most likely she will require you to purchase more than those Cosmic Brownies and Mountain Dew.
Answer: Well, then don’t screw it up.
7. Will washing my big girl’s clothes require more laundry detergent?
Answer: Nope. Not anymore than your crap-stained underwear might.
8. What if my friends make fun of me for dating a big girl?
Answer: Two things: first, make 100% certain that you are equivalent to Channing Tatum so that your judging the hotness of the girl you are dating is completely justified. Next, break up with your girl immediately. Because surrounding yourself with friends like that CLEARLY indicates that you do not deserve the love of a big girl to begin with. Lastly, gather yourself and your friends and find the nearest cliff and have a jumping off of it party.
9. How can I get my big girl to lose a few pounds for me? I really like her, but she would be even prettier if she could just drop a few pounds. You know, for her health.
Answer: you can’t. What you can do is take your tiny little brain and find a mirror. Stand in front of the mirror and repeat after me…”It’s not about me. It’s not my journey. I should work on not being the biggest tool on the planet.”
10. Are all big girls as funny and cool as you, Alicia? Do they look as good shopping out of their closet and sporting this cool faux leather jacket as you?
Answer: sadly, no. Probably not. I’m kidding. There are tons of us out there!! The coolness over floweth!!
Hooray for a new week! Some of my favorite outfits are up on deck this week to show you from shopping in my closet as well as some of my favorite stories and life lessons to go with them! You’re going to see lots of repeats this week. That was what made putting these together so fun, that I had so many pieces that worked with so many different things!!!
In the theme of repeats, I figured we might as well talk about repeat boys. Before your mind starts wondering to places it shouldn’t in reference to repeats (especially you people from my home town that know what a stupid teenager I was), let me clarify. I mean those repeat offenders that you keep letting back into your life when they have proven so often that they don’t deserve to be there. You know, the ones that you just can’t seem to cut ties with? Maybe you’re not always the one bringing them back in, but when they show up, you don’t object. If repeat offenders were one of those punch cards that when you fill up you get free food, I would have been able to feed my whole family last week! Was there an old flame haunting convention in town and I missed it?
I am going to try really hard to make this short and sweet when every typing bone in my body could get started and not stop until at least a few chapters were written on just this subject. In my complete education from the School of Hard Knocks and extreme lack of education in the area of psychology and other “guru doctorness”……here are my reasons/revelations as to why the only repeats I want in my life moving forward are good outfits, good movies and good songs on loop! Although the following is more of a “me preaching to me” session, I am guessing there is someone else that needs to read it too!
As usual, I rattled way more than I intended to! I hope that you get what I am saying and that you truly understand how precious you and that big ol’ heart of yours are! Let’s end the repeat boys right there and get over to some good repeats, like this outfit! :) This chami was purchased for less than a Sonic drink and goes with SO MANY things in my closet! First up, is how it looks with this cardigan. Don’t you just love a long cardigan? I will have to have the same talk with myself as I do every year. I will stand in the mirror and say “Alicia, you cannot wear a cardigan every single day this fall/winter. You have to give the other great pieces in your closet some love too!”.
Before you go, can we also just please take a minute to drool over these FABULOUS shoes and that great hat? My exchange student insisted that I bring the hat into the wardrobe family and I am so glad she did!! These shoes. Well, these shoes are filling a hole that no man could fill anyway right now! :p
Ankles. Can we talk about em for a sec?
Taking on the adventure of hosting a 16 year old foreign exchange student for someone who has never had kids is not for the weak. I didn’t think that I would have too much to say about it. Then, I looked in the mirror and remembered who I was talking to. OF COURSE I have a lot to say!
I decided to start logging the journey via this blog since my normal writing material of dating adventures has come to a screeching halt (mostly because I am choosing to believe my current non-existent dates, patience in distance and growing as a person is going to work out better than any of the previous sport dating did)! It might have also migrated to this part of the interwebs because one status update to capture the daily “log” was monopolizing my friend’s Facebook newsfeeds. So, come along with me on this short journey. It cannot possibly be dull!!
Meet the sweetest teenager in the world. Monica is staying with me from Spain for the school year!
1. It will most likely only be funny to me, but, I was explaining that I hate the M word to Monica tonight but she wasn’t understanding. We let it go and a bit later she wants me to explain “dat word moisty” to her again. Ha. Moisty does make moist a little more tolerable I suppose!
2. Tanker (The best dog in the world. Just look at that face!) had an accident in her bathroom (It was quite terrible actually after he has been a bit “inactive” in the bowel dept lately). She volunteers to clean it since I was cooking dinner. I hear gagging and dramatics coming from the bathroom and cannot stop laughing. I tell her to grab the mop and I will show her how to load it. She brings the vacuum. American home ec lesson to follow.
3. I clicked on two parent articles that I saw friends had shared. And read them intently….cause I am a real faux parent now…and that’s what we do….read about how to be a smarter parent right?
4. I wrote. With an actual pen on actual paper. It felt so so so good. I can’t wait to look back on these journalings when I am 80 and remember such good times. At 80 they probably won’t be “memories” as much as completely new information since I will most likely be senile by then. I just hope that I can fill in the gaps between journal entries since my average time is about 1-2 years apart for each entry!!!
5. As I typed this, I sneezed. If you have ever heard my sneeze, imagine it way louder and completely unexpected. Monica will probably never be the same. (Someone actually recorded it once when I had enough warning to give them and I have attached it here for your judging pleasure. And NO, it is NOT “that” kinda sound pervs)!!!
Click HERE to hear the sneeze