Monthly Archives: January 2013

30 pounds ago

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As much as I love doing videos, the beloved airport system has caused too many delays today and in looking at my schedule for the week ahead, I doubt I will have time to pee much less rattle senselessly on video for you. :) So I will share a short list with you tonight as I finally board my plane and need to pass the time.

Sometimes, even though the scale shows that I have lost weight (and if the scale says it, it’s true) I still struggle to see it. My insecurities pop up and try to get a permanent residence in the hotel that is my head. Thankfully, it’s stay isn’t as long as it used to be, but it still pops in to let me know it’s lingering from time to time.

Sometimes, I pass by the mirror and can’t tell that I’ve lost one single pound. Sometimes, I pass by the mirror and say horribly ugly things to myself. Sometimes, I try on clothes in the fitting room and leave crying because there is just too much of parts of me and I want them to go away right this second.

And then, sometimes I notice the opposite. Talk about nice little surprises. So, in noticing these things I decided to make a list. Now I will have something to reference when the wretched doubt tries to creep in and tell me that I haven’t really changed that much.

Some days it doesn’t seem like 30 pounds is that much when I feel like I have so much more to go. Some days I feel like I gained all 30 back just from “cheating” that one meal. But I cheat myself by not acknowledging all the ways I’ve changed.

I happily share with you my “30 pounds ago” list. :)

30 pounds ago……
– I could not fit comfortably in an airport seat. I mean I fit per se. But, I had to put the strap as loose as possible and my hips embarrassingly hung just a bit over the side of the rest. I always put the arm rest up hoping whomever landed next to me would leave it up for our flight (which never ended up happening). I always tried to situate myself sideways so it didn’t sem so obvious that I had muffin top of the airplane seat. Tonight, when i got in my seat, I automatically started my routine. The nice man assigned next to me sits down, puts the arm rest down and I brace myself for the awkwardness. Only this time, it didn’t happen. I have room!!! Plenty of room. We are both cozied nicely together in hip harmony within our allotted space. AWESOME!!!

- I could not cross my legs. I honestly cannot remember the last time I sat with one leg crossed over another. On the off chance that it did happen, it usually resulted in one leg becoming painfully numb for the whole three seconds I was able to cross at all. I’ve noticed it for a couple of weeks now but thought it was just a figment of my imagination, but I have been crossing my legs. Like, comfortably crossing one leg over the other in sitting. l vividly remember a guy I knew who’s mother would make comments about girls he dated not being able to cross their legs cause they were too fat (she was a real gem you might say). How great it is to be able to do something that I didn’t even realize I had gotten too big to do.

-I couldn’t run half a block without contemplating calling an ambulance much less walk up stairs and not lose all my breath. Now, I’m consistently jogging on purpose and starting to like it.

- I could not wear a size large dress from Old Navy. I recently
bought one in that size and it’s my new favorite piece of clothing ;)

- Could not go one day without my blood pressure medicine or it would leave me swollen and with a headache the size of Texas. Now I’m on 1/2 of that dose daily and almost ready to go less than that!

30 pounds ago I could not stand to look at myself in the mirror. Not because I thought I was too big or too ugly. But simply because I knew I could do better. I knew I wasn’t being good to my body. I knew I was cheating myself. Thirty pounds ago, I wouldn’t let myself believe I had worth or could accomplish anything athletic or that I would be good enough for the world.

Thirty pounds gone, thirty times more in love with who I am and what I am becoming! :)

Duck Face Fitness Gal

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I have been so sick this week and not even remotely felt like working out much less walk, run, bend over to stretch…nothing…..

BUT…I knew if I didn’t do SOMETHING from today through Sunday, I would be charged $5.00 per day by the gympact app I use (which is awesome by the way). I reasoned with myself that it was only 30 minutes that I had to do and at least it was cold outside (I HATE the heat). PLUS, dr’s and antibiotics have not touched whatever funk I have contracted so maybe a freezing jog will.

And there I went. AND GUESS WHAT? IT WAS GREAT! I mean it was hard. And I’m not sure if I helped or hurt my sinus situation…..but it was great. Oh…it doesn’t stop there folks….I KEPT JOGGING. Like faster than walk, non-stop jogging an extra TEN MINUTES past my app workout. Um hmmmmm….true story.

So when you think you can’t, you really can. That’s your sappy lesson for the day. You know what i love about loving myself and this whole revolution? I SEE CHANGES….all over.

I initially took this pic as a joke to send friends, but why not share with the world. This week has been hard. I ate bad, was lazy, and felt absolutely rotten. But tonight….tonight I ROCKED. :)

This my friends is the face of a girl who thought she felt good enough to run and was wrong. But did it anyway. And ran beyond the designated workout time. HUGE STEP. ROCK ON duck face fitness gal. R O C K ON!

OPERATION NAUGHTY BODY!!! :)

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Building Your Revolution Army

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Hello There World!  Hope you’re having as great of a Sunday as I am!  Check out the latest video below to see what’s going on in revolution land :)

Quote of the day:  Our actions are evident of what we care about ;)

Songs I’m loving these days:

Ho Hey – the Lumineers

Try – Pink

Movie Buzz:  Silver Linings Playbook is a MUST MUST MUST see.  As in, stop what you’re doing and figure out a time when you can go see it!!!!

Much love for a great week ahead!

Treat yourself

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MORNING REVOLUTIONERS!

I will spare you my soapbox on the topic of doing nice things for yourself since it’s Saturday :-) BUT….see the little random thoughts I jotted down while waiting for my facial.

It is so important that we do nice things for ourselves. You know my theory of you’re no good to anyone until you’re good to yourself first. It’s ok to take a time out from being a super hero to indulge in something good for your soul! :-)

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Little Reminders

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So my post this morning was a true look into me and one of the struggles I face from time to time.

But you know what I like about struggles? There is always something I end up finding to remind me that I’m not so bad for somebody called Fancy Pants!

Do you ever feel this way?

Well tonight I was looking through old beach vacation pics (my happy place) which brought me to this letter I wrote to myself (see pic of me sitting in the beach). It’s almost like someone else wrote it :-)

TOO MANY TIMES we let the world define us and lead us to believe we can’t be broken. It’s time that you stop that from happening in your life. Be broken. Then be put back together better than before!

Much love revolutioners!!! :/)

P.S. I am also including my vacation blog from that trip and my transformation HERE

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Staring at Myself

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Let me start by saying that through this journey (that i am so glad you’re joining me on)….there is one thing that will ALWAYS be the case. I will be me and I will be honest. Plain and simple. I am putting the good and the struggle out there as transparent as I can. For you. For you to relate to, for you to think about and for you to decide that you will start a revolution for you!

I realize sometimes that is going to be uncomfortable for all of us. But, it’s who I am and what I want for this project.

With that said, it’s time to be transparent. :-) i will spare you the saga, but there has been a person in my life that doesn’t deserve one more single second or ounce of me. This person has been nothing but a presence of manipulation, evil, and harm since June of 2012. I have decided to write about them as little as possible because they don’t even deserve that kind of attention. But…from time to time, as much as i HATE to admit it and even though its been a while since I have physically been around them , I still struggle with the damage that they did to my life. And just when I am finally trucking along getting better, they pop back up. Convincing people on the surface that they are changed (people I trusted and thought would never pick them over me)…..all while being the dark/evil person to me. Still trying to have control.

Although I am working through that and know that someday it will be a powerful story to share in my healing….I still have a broken heart that is being mended back together and have to accept that takes time. I am tough. I am loved. I will not go backwards. I deserve better. We all do.

Well, this week I am fed up. This person gets no more attention and my mind and body get no more abuse from them (mentally or otherwise).

With all that said, here is my transparency for today. Surely I am not alone :-) and would LOVE to connect with those put there who know what I am talking about. Can we do that?

Today has been a struggle with myself after someone referred to me as a “effing sorry fat butt” (censored)…..it happened two days ago and is still in my head :-( the nightmares have cost me much too much sleep and that makes me beyond cranky.
So how am i combating? Forcing myself to look at this picture (it isn’t my fav) and find something i like about myself…
I like my eyes. I like my glasses. I am genuine and nobody gets to take that from me.
You have to fight with all you have to rebuke the meanies :-) this person doesn’t get power over me. Period. Fearfully & wonderfully made.

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Fancy Pants People – the devil in disguise

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So…..this is Dustin…my trainer……

dustin and I met a while back and he tried to transform me, but I was stubborn.  He’s fantastic as much as most days while I’m pretty sure I’m dying…..I hate him :)  ok, so hate is strong word……it’s a love/hate :)

Anyway….Dustin is one of my biggest cheerleaders and truly wants the best for me.  Tomorrow is his annual transformation contest that I’m so happy to be a part of (not).  He is joining “Operation Naughty Body” and will be giving input throughout our revolution!

Thank you Dustin for always being available and so willing to make me the best me physically!  I’m excited to have you on board for the Fancy Pants Revolution

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Let’s get this revolution started!!!!!

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HI!!!  WELCOME!!  WHO WANTS TO START A REVOLUTION?????  So glad you’ve joined me!!!  Pardon the homemade, one man show video :)  but I couldn’t stand the wait any longer to get this started!!!  So much more to come!!!  Let’s do this!!!